


Learning to Live

by SunflowerWoman



Category: Naruto
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Blood, Bloodletting, Bloodlust, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Complete, Death, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hidan (Naruto) Swears, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Masochism, Minor Character Death, Rituals, Romance, Self-Harm, Slow Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:40:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 59,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23743957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerWoman/pseuds/SunflowerWoman
Summary: When a Sunagakure kunoichi feels the pull of the murderous, ritualistic god of death Jashin, she abandons her village and hijacks a certain silver-haired Akatsuki member's life. Together they explore their undeniable connection to each other, what is means to truly have faith when all logic screams H*LL NO, and how fighting for your desires can teach them what it means to truly be alive, even if you're immortal.
Relationships: Hidan (Naruto)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 70





	1. Waking from the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Writing Inspiration:  
> HIDAN'S SONG: "WASTED ON YOU" by Evanescence  
> MIRA'S SONG: "FIGHTING FOR NOTHING" by Meg and Dia
> 
> **I do not own NARUTO or its characters. This story follows the canonical events of NARUTO & SHIPPUDEN, with some differences that directly involve Hidan as an Akatsuki member and how female OC interacts with characters and events. Will touch on Gaara's Jinchuriki extraction, Hidan VS Asuma, and then it departs from canon events. Reviews welcome! Enjoy! ((Hidan&OC Slow Burn Romance; Gaara kidnapping; Asuma Fight; MATURE; explicit language and implied and/or explicit sexual encounters; violence; ritualistic bloodletting; ROMANCE))

🔽🔻🔽

Deep in the heart of Fire County, a group of mercenaries shifted through the trees, appearing as mere flickers of movement to passerby, each carrying their own souvenir from their latest hunt. Of those involved, one man's treasure was still alive. It was unusual - no, unheard of - for him to leave anyone breathing, so he treated his prize with extra care as they journeyed to the collection office. Holding her body in his arms, he stole glances at her face, his curiosity at the events that had just unfolded brimming over. Normally when people fought him, they either met their deaths with dignity or they shit their pants. But the woman he carried did neither of those things. Instead, she bargained.

For the first time in Hidan’s life, he actually listened. It wasn’t so much that he cared what she had to say, but something clicked in the back of his mind when she spoke. Her voice felt… he wasn’t sure how describe it without sounding like a fool, but the best way he could describe it was like velvet. Her words washed over him and bathed him in a soft caress that he could not ignore. And he recognized the signs as a message from Jashin. Hidan just wasn’t sure what the message was really saying.

The woman began to stir in his arms and his body awakened at the sensation. He couldn’t wait to unravel her and find the gem, the reason for their meeting, inside.

🔽🔻🔽

_What… happened?_ Slowly but steadily, Mira’s heartbeat ticked away the seconds as her captors travelled through the countryside, intent on dropping off their latest bounty for a hefty fee. As she fell in and out of consciousness, the world blurred around her and there was only one thing she could recognize. _Trees. Endless trees._ She knew from the wind on her face that she was moving quickly. But her body was heavy, and she was jostling against something solid and warm. A body? She parted her lips to take a breath and smelled sandalwood, her favorite scent. But not native to this region. Where was she? Breathing in deeply, she clutched at the warmth with numb fingers and drifted off again, mumbling incoherencies.

The man carrying her chuckled and the rumble in his chest stirred the woman. She tilted her head back to look up at his face, but all she could latch onto was the smoldering amber of his eyes staring searching her own.

🔽🔻🔽

“She’s your responsibility. If she does anything, we will kill her in an instant. _You_ will kill her without hesitation.”

With a click of his tongue, Hidan accepted the terms of Akatsuki’s leader. It’s not like he had much of a choice. “Fine, I’ll slit her throat ceremoniously the moment she steps out of line. But she’ll be _fine._ Jashin doesn’t make mistakes!” 

Dismissing himself from the stuffy meeting room, Hidan clamored down the stairs of the Akatsuki hideout and towards his own room at the end of the hall, where his new… well, he wasn’t sure what the hell to call her. Partner? Captive? Toy? Priest? Scowling, he approached the door of his room and held his palm over the handle, sending a silent prayer to Jashin that he would figure out this test Jashin had put before him. Curling his fingers around the cool metal, he took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

Inside, the kunoichi was still sleeping. Whatever Jashin did to her to knock her out sure as hell worked -- Hidan would need to remember to ask Him for help getting to sleep from now on. Closing the door behind him, Hidan slipped his shoes off and kicked them to the side, glancing over at the woman once more. She was curled up on her side, her body facing inwards on the bed. Her braid had started to come undone on the journey home so her hair, long and dark, was a mess of knots and tangles, and her clothes were ripped from their earlier sparring. She looked peaceful though, despite her disheveled appearance. 

_A definite change from the death glare she gave me earlier._ Scoffing to himself at the memory of their encounter, Hidan shrugged his robe off and hung it on a hook by the door. He had already taken the woman’s weapons off of her - two twin iron fighting fans hooked at each hip, a simple tanto across her lower back, and a hidden dagger in the sole of her boot. Clever. But that was all. She clearly wasn’t the most tool-savvy ninja. Not that Hidan could say much, with all his effects being a scythe and his own sense of humor. 

The weapons were stashed in his room somewhere she would never find without his help. Even if she was one of Jashin’s chosen, Hidan couldn’t be too careful… Sunagakure shinobi were known for being ruthless. Maybe that was something they would have in common.

The woman stirred and Hidan sat on the bed next to her, his weight sinking into the mattress. He bent towards her and peered down at her waking figure, waiting to see if she'd stir. If he was going to figure out Jashin’s plan, he would need her help.

🔽🔻🔽

She felt like death. Rousing herself from whatever state she was in - a coma was her best guess - proved to be so damned _difficult._ It wasn’t like she hadn’t suffered hangovers before where you felt like your veins were filled with cement... so what the hell was up with this? Every time she managed to pull her conscious mind to the surface and catch a whiff of conversation or scenery, she was dragged back under. It felt like drowning. It felt like being buried alive. _Death._ That was the only word to describe it. 

Her entire body _ached._ If she found her voice, she would curse the gods for playing this trick on her. Willing her to submit to another man without question? What the fuck was up with that? Betraying her village? Yeah, things had been a little worse for wear since the daimyo began outsourcing missions to Konoha, but she had always been proud to be part of the community. _What have I done?_

Her inner turmoil rippled across her skin and she felt the pressure weighing her down crack like an exoskeleton, freeing her from the prison of sleep. Slowly, she twitched her fingers, her nose, her eyes, and when she finally, _finally_ managed to open her eyes… And her personal space was being invaded. Those same amber eyes were inches from her own and his breath was hot across her cheeks. 

“What…” she mumbled, squinting at the bare-chested man in front of her, “...the fuck.” 

Hidan, not expecting the first words he heard from the woman to be some of his favorites, couldn’t keep his laughter subsided. His booming voice echoed in the small confines of the room, and he clutched at his sides and bent over in mirth. “Oh god,” he wheezed, trying to contain himself. “If that’s any indication of how this relationship is gonna go, we’re gonna be great.” 

Mira forced her body to cooperate with her mind and pushed herself into an upright position, the pounding in her head keeping her from sitting completely upright. “Too loud,” she groaned, weakly attempting to push Hidan away from her. “Go away.” After its unsuccessful attempt at moving the man, Mira’s hand fell to his lap and she her body tilted forwards. 

Amused, Hidan steadied her by her shoulder, keeping his hand there as an anchor. “Mira. I’m not going anywhere.” His gaze pierced into her, and she felt the weight in her limbs began to lift like air being let out of a balloon. “And neither are you,” he said softly, shifting her body so that she could lean her back against the headboard for support. 

Puzzled, Mira allowed her body to be shifted into a more comfortable position. “You… know my name?” Her body was starting to feel better but her mind was still in fog about some things. Shifting her tone, she cleared her throat - _ouch_ \- and said “You better not get any ideas. I’m not here for _you._ I’m not _yours._ ” 

Hidan merely continued to stare at her, unfazed by her commentary. In fact, Mira would have sworn he had tuned out everything she just said. “Jashin has shown an interest in you. I need to find out why.” He finally shifted away from her and stood from the bed, beginning to pace back and forth on the worn floorboards. “Oh, and before you try anything dumb like escaping? Yeah. Don’t.” His amber eyes flickered to hers for a moment before he continued pacing. “I don’t want to hurt you since I don’t know why Jashin chose you. But if you force me to act, I won’t be kind.” The sound of his feet shuffling across the hardwood filled the room as he waited for Mira to respond. 

She chose to remain silent and analyze his demeanor. Hidan The Reaper was not too well known… but known well enough that she knew a little about him. When word of the Akatsuki broke out in Suna, Mira had been tasked with teaching her long-range corps about warning signs to look out for when scanning the perimeter of the village or its territories. Part of her research included an in-depth hunt for information on Akatsuki’s members, which was more difficult of a task than Mira would ever admit. All she had learned about the man before her was that he had a temper and liked to kill people savagely for the sake of his god… so the fact that she was sitting on his bed and he wasn’t about to sacrifice her was a miracle in itself.

“Do you remember what you said to me? Why you’re here?”

Hidan’s steely voice snapped Mira back to reality. He was more serious than mere minutes ago when he laughed at her choice of words. He seemed… rigid. Tense. She noticed the pendant resting on his chest and made a note to ask him about it later if she got the chance. Since she didn’t have an answer for his question that wouldn’t sound ridiculous, she pursed her lips instead of answering directly. “You brought me here. Shouldn’t you know why?” She was starting to feel better so she sat up a bit straighter and tried to look more dignified. 

The man huffed in impatience and grasped the footboard tightly, pausing once again to look at Mira. “No. _You’re_ the one who asked to come with me. _I_ didn’t put that idea into your head.” He pushed himself away from the frame and began his pacing again, this time faster. “What have you gotten me into, Jashin…” he muttered, moreso to himself than anyone else. “I felt Him,” he said hesitantly, keeping his eyes to the ground. “When you asked. He told me to take you. But now I’m wondering if that literally meant take you with me or something else. But why would he have knocked you out? And so strongly? He doesn’t care if you get hurt. In fact, he prefers it.” 

Mira could tell that Hidan was no longer talking to her so much as he was talking around her. She watched him move, marveling at how well put together he was. His muscles shifted with each of his movements, and it was hard not to notice since he was half naked. Even more interesting, however, were his scars. Covering nearly every inch of his skin, they peppered his body with constellations and Mira found herself drawn to each of them… what had they seen? What had he been through? Why the hell did he have so many of them?

His musings helped her piece together her memory, though, and for that she was grateful. She forced her eyes on the space in front of her rather than his chest and took a breath. _Sandalwood._ Somehow, the notion of her asking to come here felt familiar… it even felt warm somehow. She felt her face flush instantly and she choked on her own saliva in surprise at how intense the feeling was. Unfortunately, Hidan was more perceptive than Mira gave him credit for and he was hovering over her again in an instant. 

“You remembered something,” he said, leaning over her. His metal pendant settled on Mira’s chest and she gasped in surprise at how hot it was -- it felt like it was burning into her flesh. She immediately pushed Hidan away from her, and he toppled backwards a few steps before regaining his balance. “Hey--” he growled, the irritation sparking on his tongue. “The fuck do you--” But he stopped as soon as he saw the reddened mark of Jashin on her chest. The burn wasn’t deep and would heal on its own, but he eyed it curiously for a moment before speaking again. His voice was calm now, but the tension in his shoulders remained. “Describe it to me. What you’re feeling.” 

Still stunned, Mira raised her hands to her cheeks and felt the heat beneath them. Her entire body felt like it was starting to boil, and a sweat broke out on her neck. “I uhh,” she swallowed, forgetting her hesitation as her panic began to take over, “I don’t know, I… I felt an intense longing. Like I hadn’t had sex in years and-” she felt herself getting hotter and decided to compare it to something else. “-like I hadn’t seen or drank water in years and I was about to jump into a pool of the most pristine waters I had ever seen. It was the most intense thing I’ve ever experienced. Like my skin was on fire.” Sweat began pooling on her lower back and soaking into her clothes. “No, like my soul was on fire. Like the only thing I needed was to go with you. Like I would never be fulfilled if I didn’t go with you.” Her breathing shallowed and she shivered, feeling feverish. “Make it stop. I swear to god make it stop-”

Hidan didn’t seem surprised by this or by Mira’s sudden hot flash, and he watched her pensively. “Get up. If we don’t cool you off, you’ll go into shock or have a heart attack or whatever.” He grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her from the bed so that she was standing in front of him. On the nightstand by his bed, he had a small athame that he took in his hands and held it against Mira’s lower back. “Trust me,” he murmured, his face growing softer… kinder, almost. 

Before Mira had time to blink, Hidan had sliced a four inch cut into her back, and she cried out in surprise at the sting of the blade, but as soon as the cut was made, she could feel her body temperature lowering drastically. The sudden change made Mira woozy and lightheaded, so she was grateful when Hidan applied pressure to the wound and held her body close to his for support. 

“If I didn’t make a large enough cut, your body temperature would have continued to rise and you would have passed out. Some people have seizures.” 

Mira felt her body begin to shake of its own accord, and if Hidan didn’t feel so damned cool to the touch she would have protested his help and sat down. But instead, he continued to hold her still as he reached for the drawer in his nightstand, placed the knife inside, and pulled out bandages. While he dressed her wound, he continued explaining. “What you just felt - that was Jashin making contact. It’s not the only way he makes contact, but it’s the easiest to detect for newbies.” He tied off the bandage and gently sat Mira down on the edge of the bed, his hands firmly on her hips to keep her steady. “Bloodletting is the most direct way to relieve the tension. We didn’t have time for me to use another method.” He paused, searching her face for answers. “I’m actually surprised you burned up so quickly. Normally it takes time to get to that level. You might have a stronger connection to Jashin than some.” 

When he thought she was secure enough to sit on her own, he shifted to sit next to her. His thigh pressed against hers and she was grateful because his body temperature was still so much cooler than hers. The contact was refreshing. 

Hidan took a deep breath and wiped his palms on his black pants. “This just confirms that Jashin wants you. No, that he’s claimed you,” he corrected, nodding to himself. 

Mira focused her vision just enough to see that Hidan was staring at her chest, and she was about to smack him upside the head when she realized he was looking at the pendant marking, not her breasts. The mark didn’t hurt anymore and she could see it returning to her normal skin tone, but she brushed her fingertips against it and felt an electric shock down her spine. It was freaky. She wasn’t sure she liked it. In fact, that whole event was a whole lotta _insane_ that she’d rather walk away from. But even though her rational brain was having these thoughts, there was a deeper, more grounded part of her that felt… satisfied. 

It was just like when she realized she liked coconut after living her whole life believing it was disgusting- she only had to try it to find out the truth. She _loved_ coconut. 

Part of her, perhaps the sick, dark, I-Will-Never-Admit-To-This part actually… enjoyed what just happened. At least, the intensity of it. Maybe not the rest of it. 

Everything else, everything that Hidan had just said and had yet to say, was waaaay too much for her to process right now. Honestly, even though she had just woken from a dead ass slumber, all she wanted to do not was sleep for twelve hours. Her eyelids grew heavy and she found herself leaning into Hidan without realizing it. 

Hidan… smiled at her. A genuine, soft, kind smile. “You need rest. That was a lot for your first time.” He picked her up and lay her back down on the bed. “I’ll have to see if we can find a spare room for you. Until then, you can stay here. But I mean it - don’t try anything. I don’t want to have to explain to Jashin why I had to cut your arm off or something.” 

Mira was too tired to respond or even process what he was saying at this point, so she mutely listened to the rest of Hidan’s ramblings as much as she could before she drifted off into sleep.

🔽🔻🔽


	2. Unsteady Beginnings

🔽🔻🔽

When Mira awoke the next day, Hidan was gone. She stretched her arm across the space beside her, noting that the bed was cold. He either got up hours ago or never slept beside her that night. Not that she wanted him to- it was just _his_ bed, after all. She wasn’t sure how she felt about jumping into a man’s bed as quickly as she did, but for now the nice plush of his comforter and scent of trees in the room was a nice distraction. Pulling the covers up to her chin, she shifted her focus from material comforts and pondered her situation for a moment before resolving to stop thinking about it and just _do_. Yeah, that would get her answers faster than sitting around here thinking about everything. Some things were better left unthought of and unpondered. 

With new resolve, she threw the covers off her body and stood. The first thing she needed to feel normal again were her weapons, but one cursory glance around the room told her that they had been hidden. _Great._ She started searching the surface items in the room, lifting pillows, opening drawers, checking under the bed… 

When she bent over to search the floor for a loose board, she could feel the wound in her back stretch taut and she winced. It was deeper than she remembered and sore to the touch. With an irritated growl, she sat back and ripped at her bandages to get a look at the wound. The bandage was stuck to her skin so once she removed it, she ripped the wound open again and it started bleeding. With a hiss, Mira rose and walked to the floor-length mirror occupying the wall next to the bed. If she craned her head, she could see the cut bleeding into her clothes, which were a tattered mess. God. She looked like she’d come back from the dead. ...had she?

Scowling at her reflection, she was about to raid Hidan’s closet when the door opened. 

“You’re awake,” the voice said simply, the woman watching Mira with a blank stare. “Good. I need to show you to your room, then I’ll be leaving. Don’t try exploring the base on your own. You’ll just get lost.” 

Mira quickly assessed that the woman with periwinkle hair was none other than Konan, but other than her name, she didn’t know much about the ninja. “Do you mind? I’m trying to put on something more suitable.” She didn’t bother hiding the irritation in her voice. Even though she was a guest here, or was it her new home?, she wasn’t about to be ordered around… too much. 

Konan blinked, unfazed. “There are new clothes in your room. I doubt Hidan would want you raiding his closet.” After a beat, she continued. “Follow me. Hidan isn’t here now but will be back later. He should have taken you with him but he insisted you wouldn’t leave his room. Something about your loyalty to him…”

Scoffing and making a note to deck Hidan later, Mira quickly pulled a black tank top from Hidan’s closet before following Konan out the door. She wanted to watch Konan’s movements to get a feel for her persona but her more pressing concern was figuring out where she was. They seemed to be in a large building tucked in the forest somewhere. Mira wasn’t sure which land they were on and mildly wondered if the Akatsuki paid taxes, but that idea seemed ridiculous to her so she didn’t dare voice it. They probably inhabited this land by use of force… or maybe their mercenary trade paid for it? 

Lost in her thoughts, Mira forgot to watch where they were going. When Konan stopped suddenly and turned to look at her, Mira startled and clutched the shirt in her arms. _Crap. Crap, crap, crap. Now I’m gonna have to wander this place without a sense. Fuck._

If Konan noticed Mira’s surprise, she didn’t let on. “Your clothes are inside. I’m not locking you in but don’t do anything stupid. I’m sure you’re aware that if you get in our way, we won’t hesitate to kill you.” Her head tilted to the side as she continued. “You won’t be alone very often, so take advantage of those moments. If you need anything the men can’t offer, you can ask me. I’m not here often though so try to get things on your own.” With that, Konan turned and calmly walked down the long hallway, turning to the right once the opportunity presented itself. 

“That was… nice of her,” Mira surmised, watching Konan depart. “I wonder what she means by I won’t be alone often…” Moving on, Mira opened the door and stepped inside. The room was plain, much plainer than Hidan’s room. It had a closet, nightstand with a lamp, bed, a small table… and that was it. With a sigh, Mira threw her tattered shirt over her head and replaced it with Hidan’s tank top, dropping her own shirt to the floor. She slowly removed her pants, careful not to agitate her wound. Tch. She should have grabbed some bandages before leaving Hidan’s room. At this rate, it would get infected. Great.

Once she changed into a standard pair of black shinobi shorts and found a lost hairbrush beneath the bed, she tidied up her appearance and fixed her braid, letting it fall over her shoulder. She had dirt and blood in various spots on her body, but other than the cut on her back, she felt fine. Rejuvenated, actually, like she had just gotten the best sleep she’d had in years. Furrowing her brows, she considered how odd that was with the given circumstances but shrugged it off. Just another thing she didn’t want to worry about right now. _Have to keep moving. Just do._

An hour later, Mira had traversed most of the base. In that time she had taken a quick shower, cleaned her cut, and fixed her appearance. She had dark circles around her eyes, but that couldn’t be helped. What _could_ be helped was her rumbling stomach. Upon finding the kitchen, she raided the pantry and fridge like a fiend who hadn’t eaten in days. Too lazy to cook, she ate leftover beef and rice, garbled down some pretzels, and chugged so much orange juice that she thought she might get sick. Settling down on a sofa in the next room, she found herself napping lightly when someone entered the room a while later.

“Hn. Always sleeping.” Rubbing his neck, the man eyed Mira from a distance. “I’m almost jealous. We’re worked to the bone around here.”

Mira opened her eyes and slowly released her breath. “You must be Kakuzu,” she said plainly, shifting to a sitting position and leaning her elbows on her thighs. “Watching me sleep? That’s a bit creepy.” She raised an eyebrow at the frankenstein man. “Hey, where’s Hidan? I’ve got some shit to deal with that involves him.” Pushing herself into a standing position, she crossed the room towards Kakuzu. “And I have a feeling he’s been with you.”

Kakuzu ignored her question and instead asked his own. “Hidan never takes anyone alive. I don’t care about his motives, and I don’t care about you. But,” he crossed his arms and took a step towards the kunoichi, “it is curious…” Lifting his hand to her face, he touched a loose strand of her hair. His eyes narrowed as he rubbed the strand between two fingers. “What is your purpose in being here?” 

Mira swatted his hand away and twisted his arm back painfully. The man didn’t flinch and looked amused more than anything. “It doesn’t concern you,” she said with a note of finality, wrenching his arm further. “I don’t intend to get in your way so don’t get in mine.” 

There was a clamour in the other room as someone frantically opened cabinets and shuffled things around in the kitchen. “Maaan, who ate my food? Deidara, you sunnofabitch, I swear to Jashin I’m gonna murder your ass--” Hidan came bounding around the corner and bowled past Kakuzu and Mira, shouldering past them in the doorway and body blocking them from each other. “Mira! Starving!” he whined, seeming to forget they were barely aquaintances and taking her hand to pull her out of the room. “Come with me to get food! You can’t stay in this dank ass base all day just because you’re recovering.” He didn’t pause to see if she accepted, he just… took her. 

As they fast walked down the path to the nearby village, Hidan rambled on about dropping off bounties with Kakuzu and what he wanted for lunch. After he noticed Mira’s silence, he came to a halt and spun her around, lifting the bottom of her shirt to check her wound. “You took the bandage off. That’s brave.” He gently prodded the skin around the wound and his touch somehow soothed its prickling irritation. 

He started to pool chakra into his fingertips and press deeper into her muscle to see if he could quicken her healing time, and before she could stop it, a soft moan escaped her lips. It felt too good. Hidan pressed his fingertips even deeper but Mira’s eyes widened at the realization that she was Letting- Him- Touch- Her. Quickly, she took control and shoved the man away from her. “Stop it! You can’t just do what you want with me like I’m some object. You keep doing that.” She placed her palm over the wound and took a few steps back off the path and into the grass. “I’m not yours. How many times do I have to say that before it finally sinks in?” 

Hidan’s bemused expression hardened instantly and he crossed the distance between them without touching her this time. “I _know_ you’re not mine, dumbass. You belong to Jashin. We both do.” He paused and turned away from her to run a hand through his silver hair, mussing it up. “I didn’t want to leave you this morning but you were dead asleep. I’ve been waiting to see you all day and I...” Amber eyes flickered to hers for a moment before he let out a strangled sound and turned away again. “Let’s get going before the shop closes for dinner prep.” He began walking again, but slower this time. He casually looked over his shoulder a few times while they walked, checking to make sure she was still there and not running away. He didn’t like how far back she was but aside from tying her up and carrying her, what was he gonna do?

Mira sighed and mirrored Hidan’s movements by running a hand through her own hair. She couldn’t explain why but she didn’t have the desire to run. In fact, all she wanted to do was go back to holding his hand… but that was childish. And nonsensical. And she wasn’t a child. The desire didn’t make sense, so she ignored it as best she could. What really bothered her was when Hidan had put his hands on her it felt… _wonderful._ She could still feel the spot where he touched her back. It tingled with electricity. Energy. His chakra. Clearing her throat and banishing such thoughts, she focused on putting one foot in front of the other. It was going to be a long day at this rate.

🔽🔻🔽

Hidan couldn’t help checking behind him. He didn’t normally feel this way, so he couldn’t name what it was. He was sweaty and jittery… nausea? No… Excited? That didn’t quite fit… Angry? A bit. That was something he could definitely recognize. He muttered under his breath while they walked, keeping his hands in his pants’ pockets. He had left his Akatsuki robe back at base and opted for wearing one of his tank tops. When he realized Mira had stolen one of his and they were actually matching, his eyebrow twitched in a mixture of irritation and… something else. One of those _things_ he couldn’t quite place. 

They reached the shop before long and he ducked under the overhang and yelled in his order. “Oi! Greg! I’m here for the usual! You in?” 

Greg was the owner of the food stall and one of Hidan’s favorite humans, if not for his quiet demeanor then for the kick ass food he made. Hidan was a fan of all things meat, and Greg knew just how to provide. He arrived shortly after the pair sat on two stools at the bar and placed a giant plate of pork belly, sirloin, and beef strips in front of them. Hidan immediately began stuffing his face, the juices from his meal dribbling down his chin. 

After he scarfed down multiple pieces of meat, he glanced at Mira and pointed with his chopsticks to the ones sitting untouched by her side of the plate. “C’mon, you must be hungry. Communing with Jashin takes a lot of energy.” He slurped up a sliver of meat dangling from his mouth and grabbed a new piece of beef in his chopsticks. Rather than stuff it in his own mouth, he held it out in front of Mira’s face. “Eat it,” he commanded, now staring at her. “It’s yours. Free of charge.” 

He watched Mira intently, growing more irritated the more she stared at it. After about ten seconds, he huffed and shoved the meat into her mouth. “You’re not allowed to starve yourself to get out of working with Jashin. He won’t take that kindly. _Eat._ Or I’ll shove it down your throat.” 

Mira glared at her companion and swallowed the meat whole, not giving him the satisfaction of watching her chew. But as soon as the sauce hit her tongue, her stomach clenched in anguish and she had to keep herself from doubling over. _My god, I ate a fuck ton earlier and I’m still hungry?_ Snatching her chopsticks, she began eating more than her share of the food. “Really good,” Hidan heard her murmur around a mouthful of beef, and a wave of satisfaction mixed with relief washed over him. He went back to his own meal and after they cleared the plate, another one appeared. “Yessssss, seconds! You the man, Greg!” With an energetic fist pump, Hidan tucked into the second plate of meat. 

After a few more mouthfuls, Hidan began speaking again, this time quieter, just for Mira to hear. “I don’t know why you’re being weird all of a sudden unless it’s out of spite or some shit. I get it. You’re not ready to commit to Jashin yet, but you will be. We’ll take this one step at a time. Don’t worry so much. Don’t think. Just _do._ ”

Mira froze at hearing Hidan’s statement, her chopsticks hovering over their shared plate. The words echoed in her head. Those were the same words she had been repeating to herself all day when she faltered in her movements. _Don’t think. Just do._ She turned her head to watch Hidan, and even though he was a bit of a barbarian, there was a certain grace about his movements, an allure about him. The meat between her chopsticks slipped from her grasp and hit the table, and Mira hastily cleaned up the mess. _What am I thinking? He’s a fanatical murderer. Get a grip, goddammit._

Hidan didn’t bother asking her what was wrong. He figured she’d chill out eventually, and in the meantime, more food for him.

🔽🔻🔽


	3. Forced Growth

It turned out that Konan was right after all. Mira didn’t get a lot of time alone. In fact, it was a miracle she could go to the bathroom without Hidan or Deidara trailing after her like lost puppies. For some reason, Deidara stuck to her like glue. Something about fresh eyes being able to see the beauty in his creations or some shit. Apparently Sasori didn’t appreciate his work enough… and Hidan, well. He didn’t dare say this aloud but he was obsessed with figuring out the connection between himself and Mira. He didn’t act on this obsession, either, other than trying to engage the kunoichi in various activities and small talk. He figured out that talking about Jashin and Mira’s connection to him creeped her out (something he scoffed at regularly. Why live here with him if not to build their relationship with Jashin?) so he began taking small steps to strengthen their connection without her noticing. So far, it was working… just a bit too slowly. And Hidan was never known for his patience, so something had to give soon or he’d lose his shit.

The best part about their situation was that Mira was forced to follow Hidan and Kakuzu out on their missions since no one trusted her to be alone in the base. Sometimes they were just completing small tasks for the surrounding territories like collecting taxes or finding a lost cow. Sometimes they traveled farther and completed mercenary jobs in other lands. Those were the times Mira got really antsy about someone recognizing her. Without her Suna headband, however, she looked like the average vagabond travelling with other vagabonds. She may not have had the Akatsuki cloak, but when standing beside Hidan and Kakuzu, no one questioned her. And more importantly, no one recognized her.

When they entered new villages or spoke to clients, Hidan noticed Mira’s discomfort in the way she moved. Normally she was very fluid, like she was part of the wind and it moved within her. Once he noticed this about her, Hidan shamelessly watched her at all times of the day, and she called him a creep for it. Often. But she didn’t seem interested in Jashin or his teachings. She didn’t ask about Jashin’s favorite offerings, follow him to watch his daily rituals or participate in morning prayer... or seem to care about it at all. This infinitely annoyed Hidan but when he approached Mira about it, oftentimes with a lot of cursing and yelling about being a disgrace to Jashin’s name and legacy, she balked and stormed off. This went on for about a week and a half before he stopped trying. It was clear he had to get her to come to him for answers. He just had to figure out how to do it without fucking it up. His usual show of crass bravado wouldn’t work this time, and boy, was that the biggest load of bullshit if he had anything to say about it. 

The days passed quickly after this realization and Hidan didn’t press Mira for answers about her disinterest in Jashin. Rather, he got in her face loudly and often, disregarding her personal space completely and going into the gory details of his latest kills. Some of which Mira had watched so she knew all about. Every single time, Hidan’s antics would force them into a sparring match when Mira got sick of it and decked him square in the jaw. It was easy to spark her anger for some reason and she took all her frustrations out on him, which was fine with him since- duhh, immortal. But he hadn’t given her her weapons back so she had to pummel him with her fists and drop kick him to the ground. This, he found, was an attractive way to watch her body move.

Mira, on the other hand, found their sparring to be a great way to break bones. Normally when she fought others, she relied on her weapons to slice deep into the tissue and dance around her opponents’ attacks. Brute force required more stamina that she hadn’t built up. She preferred a quick fight and a quick kill. But with Hidan, nothing was quick and nothing was easy.

“Goddammit, how many times do I have to hit you before you go down, you piece of shit!” 

It was twilight when they got into their latest fight, and while the birds normally would have been chirping to call their families home for the night and the deer would have started foraging, they kept their distance and remained quiet. In fact, every time these two went at each other’s throats, all wildlife seemed to disappear completely. If the sun never moved, Mira would have sworn that time stood still and they were in their own little world.

By now, Hidan and Mira had fought so often that they had a thirty foot spot a ways outside the base where the ground was torn bare. There wasn’t soft grass to land on anymore, only dirt and small rocks. Mira and Hidan had been circling around each other trading blows for about thirty minutes now. She had a bruised collarbone, blood dripping down her chin, and a sore ass from Hidan smacking her roughly whenever the opportunity presented itself during their fight. “You drive me INSANE!” she bellowed, charging for him for the twelfth time that evening. 

Hidan had a malicious look in his eye as he stood his ground, allowing her to thrust her palm into his ribs. He heard a crack and wheezed loudly, kicking her foot out from under her and pulling her to the ground on top of him. He quickly rolled her over so her back was on the ground and pressed his knee into her chest. “That hurt, bitch!” he spat, spitting some blood onto her face. “Just because I’m immortal doesn’t mean you get to treat me like a piece of shit! Goddamn!” 

Mira couldn’t help the dark laugh that erupted deep within her chest. She couldn’t quite catch her breath so she wheezed beneath Hidan’s weight. “I think it does,” she groaned, attempting to shove him off of her. “But I’m not everlasting so get off before you kill me.”

Hidan’s eyes flashed dangerously, causing Mira to freeze in place with her hand on his thigh. “Maybe you deserve to be killed,” he responded harshly, pressing his knee harder into her ribcage. “You’ve done shit all for my well-being lately. What do you do for me other than give me something to look at other than zombie dick over there?” He grinned coldly, showing Mira his blood-stained teeth. His hair fell into his eyes and he looked almost like a wolf ready to devour its prey. “You’d make a fine sacrifice. I’d be sure to slice you open nice and slow to get a peek inside. God only knows that’d be more than you’ve shown me in the past two weeks.” He leaned closer to her face and she could smell the iron on his breath. “Why the fuck are you here, Mira? I’m getting real tired of trying to figure you out so why don’t you do me a fucking favor and show me something worth saving.”

It grew silent as the pair stared at one another, neither of them willing to budge. Mira gripped Hidan’s thigh tightly, but neither of them moved otherwise. He was right. She couldn’t deny it. But she also didn’t know what to _do._ “You think it’s so easy,” she muttered quietly, Hidan’s weight still sinking into her chest. “It’s like you’ve never doubted your stupid Jashin. I don’t know what I’m doing, Hidan. That should be fucking obvious.” Hidan must have been a bit caught off guard from her actually answering his plea since she was able to toss him to the ground beside her. The pair lay on the ground beside each other, watching darkness take over the skies. The canvas above them gradually faded from a dusky orange to violet, like an ocean wave crashing on the shore. 

“I thought this all-knowing bullcrap you go on and on about with your precious god would show you some answers, but apparently not. I can’t sleep without Him trying to whisper in my ear, and I can’t tell you what He’s saying since I don’t fucking know. He doesn’t speak my goddamn language.” She rubbed her sore chest and spit some blood out of her mouth onto the ground by Hidan’s shoulder. He was watching her intently, and she visibly flinched from the intensity of his stare. Pressing her lips into a fine line, she continued, “I can _feel_ Him, Hidan. I feel Him every goddamned day. And you piss me off because you seem to love this shit and can understand what the fuck he’s saying, but I can’t, and I’m not gonna just let him into my mind to take over or some shit. That’s why I don’t join you on prayers and rituals. He creeps me the fuck out. So as His envoy, you piss me off because you’re a reminder of everything I can’t _do._ Everything I _don’t want_ to do.” Taking a deep, rattling breath, she forced herself to roll onto her side and look Hidan in the eyes. He was still staring at her. She almost found it alarming at how he barely seemed to breathe. “Is that worth saving? ‘Cuz if not just go ahead and feed me to Zetsu because I’m getting really tired of all the mystery and suspense. Why can’t a sign or a message be something easy like a--”

“Thank you,” Hidan said suddenly, cutting Mira off. He paused to scratch his chin and wipe his mouth before continuing. “That’s definitely something worth saving. We can work with that. All you had to do was tell me that and we could’ve resolved this shit ages ago.” Wincing, he pushed himself upright and inspected a bruise on his abdomen. “Go clean yourself up and meet me in an hour. We’ve got work to do if you’re gonna get any sleep tonight.” 

Mira didn’t have a chance to respond because Hidan quickly got up from the ground and left her there to wonder if this was really worth it after all.

🔽🔻🔽

Forty-five minutes later when Mira stepped out of the shower in a cloud of steam, she heard commotion in the kitchen down the hall. Lots of cabinets slamming shut and bottles jostling in the fridge. Curious about the sound, she threw on her plain blue panties and an extra large, long-sleeved t-shirt that went to her mid-thigh and shuffled to the kitchen. Inside, she expected to see Kisame downing whole fish again (don’t ask, don’t tell situation), so she rounded the corner about to command him not to eat her salmon since she was saving that for tomorrow night. Lips parted as she turned the corner into the kitchen, she exclaimed, “No one better be jacking my fish!’ and ended up bumping into Hidan’s bent over ass cheeks as he rummaged through a lower cabinet. Stumbling backwards, she steadied herself on the counter as Hidan quickly stood up straight. “C’mon, man, how many times do I have to tell ya I’m not interested--” 

Seeing Mira, Hidan brightened immediately and shoved an opened bottle of whiskey into her arms. “Hey, great timing! Help me with this shit.” His arms were filled with random food items - a family sized bag of barbecue chips, a snack pack pudding, and a few granola bars. He tossed an extra pudding at Mira and rearranged his own load. “C’mon,” he said finally, motioning with his chin that she should follow him. “We’ve got work to do.”

Following, Mira couldn’t help but raise a brow at the stank wading off of him. “Have you even showered since earlier? You’ve got blood on your chest and no offense, but you kind of smell like ass,” Mira remarked, crinkling her nose. Blood and sweat seemed to be Hidan’s favorite scents. Maybe he made his own body wash with that combination. 

Hidan threw a sultry look over his shoulder and wiggled his eyebrows at his intended. “Oh, am I too _filthy_ for you? Ya wanna take a detour and help me with that? I’ve got something you can _rub--_ ” With the mish-mash of objects in his arms, he looked like a kid robbing a candy store rather than a man trying to seduce someone. Mira rolled her eyes and tossed her pudding at his head, but she couldn’t hide the smile that tugged on her lips. 

Deftly catching the pudding in his right hand, Hidan smirked. “Ahhh, I knew it! You can’t resist me even if you want to.” They arrived at their destination and Hidan kicked his door open with a bang and tossed the items on his bed. He threw his robe off and crumpled it in a pile on the floor, moving to his dresser to return a knife from his pants pocket. Stretching his arms over his head, he walked to his bed and threw his pants off in one swift motion, leaving him in nothing but his black cotton boxers. He hummed in approval at his newfound comfort and plopped down onto the bed, swiping the whiskey from Mira’s hands. Popping the top, he held the bottle out to Mira who was standing awkwardly in the doorway. “Here. Drink. And close the door.” 

Moving on command without realizing it, Mira entered the room and shut the door behind her, taking the offered bottle and downing a swig. When she tried to return it to Hidan, he shook his head. “That wasn’t even a full shot. Drink,” he commanded, shifting the items on his bed to make room for her. Once Mira had downed a bit more alcohol, he pat the spot beside him. “Now sit. And pass me the bottle.” 

Mira handed Hidan the bottle and watched him take a hearty drink. “What are you planning, Hidan?” she asked hesitantly, watching him gasp for air once he was done chugging. His hair fell into his face but he didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he grabbed a hair tie from his nightstand and pulled his silver locks into a messy half ponytail. Loose strands of hair framed his face since he didn’t do a good job putting it back. Tossing the lid of the bottle in a high arc across the room and settling in, he stretched his legs diagonally across his bed and got comfy. The blood on his chest was even more apparent now that he was practically naked, along with a long cut down the length of his sternum that Mira hadn’t noticed before. She didn’t remember that from their fight earlier and didn’t want to ask where it came from.

“We’ve been taking things too slowly,” he stated matter-of-factly, “as indicated by what you told me earlier. If Jashin is trying to contact you, you have to have an open mind and open heart to properly receive his message. Otherwise you’ll keep getting static and headaches. Lots of those.” He absentmindedly tapped his foot against her leg and passed her the bottle again. “You clearly need to relax more. The alcohol is gonna help with that.” After a breath, he continued. “All you really need to know is that if you keep fighting this, the more impatient he will become. The worse you’ll start to feel. Trust me on this.” 

After his explanation, Mira gladly took the bottle and downed a few shots. The smokey burn in her throat was unpleasant and quickly sat down, leaning back on the headboard beside Hidan to try and hide her watering eyes. “You didn’t think to grab a chaser?” she asked, opening the bag of chips for some relief. “This doesn’t have to be painful.” 

Hidan chuckled and swiped some chips from her hand. “Pain is his game, babe. Without pain there is noooo gain,” he sang nonchalantly, munching on his chips once he was done. “We can’t eat all of these yet or we’ll be famished later.”

“These are… reserves? The fuck?” Mira responded when Hidan smashed the chip bag closed and stuffed it behind his pillow. “Can we at least do something else than just sit here downing whiskey?” she asked.

“That’s the idea,” Hidan said, taking another drink. “Drink more. Here.” He forced the bottle into Mira’s arms. “We’re going to talk. You can ask me questions and I can ask you questions. Hell, tell me your life’s story if you want, I don’t give a shit. We just need a better relationship than two acquaintances who beat the shit out of each other twice a week if I’m gonna help you with Jashin. Them’s the rules.” 

Mira chugged a few more gulps of alcohol and tried not to spit it on Hidan’s chest. “Then why the fuck are you naked? I’m not playing twenty questions with you if that’s what you’re planning--” 

Smacking her hip playfully, Hidan reached for a pudding cup. “No, dumbass, I’m not coming onto you. It’s my room so I can get naked if I want. You don’t even have pants on, or a bra by the looks of it, so--” As he peeled back the top of his pudding cup, he had to tilt his head to the right to avoid getting slapped. “So touchy,” he scolded, scooping pudding out with his finger and sucking it off. “Just fucking chill out and let’s get this over with. Do you want my help or not?”

Mira chewed on the inside of her cheek while she contemplated everything. In truth, this seemed like a bizarre sleepover more than anything, but what the hell did she have to lose? Her hair was still damp from her shower and making her shiver from the cold, so she tied it in a loose bun at the nape of her neck to keep it off her shoulders. Hesitantly, she agreed to his terms. “Fine. But I can pull out any time I want.” 

Hidan smirked and was about to make a crass remark when Mira hit him in the face with a pillow.

🔽🔻🔽

One hour later, the pair was lying on Hidan’s hardwood floor, the empty-save-for-a-few-swigs bottle of whiskey lying on its side a few feet away. Hidan drank the most of the alcohol since he could handle it better than Mira, but he still swayed a bit as he reached out to take Mira’s hands in his own. “Miraaa,” he cooed, using her body as an anchor to scoot his butt across the floor. They were sitting facing one another, and Hidan pulled himself so close that she had to practically straddle him or else be squished uncomfortably against the wall. “Are you feeling it yet? The connection?” 

His breath was hot across Mira’s cheek and she giggled at how ridiculous he was behaving. “Nooooo,” she sang lightly, leaning back to rest her body against the cool wall. That was better. She settled her legs on either side of Hidan’s hips, resting them atop his thighs, her giant shirt riding up until the hem rested at the juncture between her thighs and hips. “What am I supposed to feel?” she asked, reaching up to grab the bag of chips peeking out from under Hidan’s pillow on the bed. “Because I just feel… woozy,” she hiccuped, tossing a chip in her mouth. “I don’t think this’s working.” 

Hidan clicked his tongue in disbelief. “It’s working. You’re just not paying attention. You don’t feel the buzz? The hum? That’s Jashin!” He threw his hands in the air when he said Jashin’s name and his pendant jostled on his chest. “The eeeeenergy flowing within you. It’s all connected to Jashin.”

Mira tossed a chip at Hidan’s mouth and giggled when it bounced off and fell into his lap. “That’s _chakraI_ , dumbass,” she murmured, grabbing another chip. “It’s the river of energy that does shit with seals or whatever.” She threw another chip but it whizzed past his head. “Oops!” Another giggle and a slap on Hidan’s calf. “Gotta get that later.”

Hidan picked up the chip off of his boxers and ate it. “Mmmmm you’re not getting it.” He squinted, deep in thought for a moment. “We gotta try something else. Quickly!” Grabbing Mira’s hands again and causing her to drop the bag of chips on the floor (she moaned in protest and agony at the lost chips), he looked into the glazed magenta of her eyes and said calmly, “Do what I do. Don’t think. Just do.” 

Mira was about to crack a smart ass remark about how that violated so many consent laws, but Hidan looked serious and that was always a bit unsettling. With a sigh, she ignored her every instinct to rebel and tried to focus instead. When Hidan held his open palm against her hand and nodded to try and get her to do the same, she opened her palm and pressed it against his. Alcohol made her sweat, or was it his sweat?, so their palms practically glued together and Hidan closed his eyes and began breathing deeply.

The air in the room grew thicker, like it had just rained on hot concrete. Sweat began to pool on their skin in a fine sheen, and Mira watched Hidan for any signs of… well, enlightenment. “You’re not trying,” Hidan said softly, his eyes still closed. “Stop ogling my gorgeous body and close your goddamn eyes.” 

With a huff, Mira closed her eyes and tried to let the alcohol work its magic. Hidan’s voice came slow and melodic as he talked her through whatever the fuck they were doing. 

“Take a deep breath. Feel the air moving and swirling in your lungs. Exhale.” He followed his own instructions and exhaled slowly, the smell of a smokey barbecue whiskey mixture wafting over them. His arm twitched and he wanted to say something but knew that would ruin both their concentration. Taking another breath, he focused on grounding himself and letting his physical body drift away. The hum of energy tingled across his arms as he tried to push it out into Mira’s space, hopefully getting her to feel his energy and, therefore, open to feeling her own. That was key to connecting with Jashin. He communicated through energy easily and it was hard to explain how to feel that.

Hidan could tell when Mira finally let her suspicions and doubts fall away. The space where their hands met began to warm, increasing in temperature each time they inhaled together. Soon it was fiercely hot, and he could feel that Mira was about to pull away. “Stay with me,” he intoned, his voice strong. “Now imagine the energy between us - where our hands meet - releasing into the air. The burning tension lifting. The air around us alight with our energy. Can you feel it?” Hidan opened his eyes to watch her. “Can you see it?”

Whether she realized it or not, Mira was tapping her fingers against Hidan’s. She looked uncomfortable and was chewing on her bottom lip. A drop of sweat slid down her neck and Hidan watched it slide into her shirt collar. She must have been burning up in that thing, but he didn’t really think to warn her about how hot it would get in here. Oh well. Now she knows for next time. 

“Now focus on what you’ve been feeling lately. You said earlier that you could hear Jashin. Feel Him. Describe it to me. What is He trying to say? How does He make you feel?” 

Mira could feel her arms start to shake but Hidan pressed more firmly against her hands, steadying her a little. She took a deep breath and tried to recall everything that she had been trying to ignore and repress during her time with the Akatsuki. “I feel… like I’m being watched,” she began slowly, the gears turning in her mind. “It’s hard to describe.”

“Just try,” Hidan prodded gently, eyes still on her. He watched her swallow and noticed her pulse point was beating rapidly. Unconsciously, he licked his lips. 

Once again, Mira returned to her thoughts. Whenever she tried to fall asleep, she could hear whispers. They weren’t coherent and it sounded like multiple presences were just talking over each other, each trying to have their say. When she heard them, she always pictured herself in the middle of a dark forest, surrounded by towering trees that swayed in the breeze. She couldn’t hear the leaves or the wind, though. Just the whispers.

Each second, the whispers grew louder. Two torches lit behind her, then one by one more torches lit until they formed a circle in this space, the dark forest of her mind. She was standing on a stone platform a few feet off the ground, and when she tried to look over the edge to jump off and flee, she could see silver snakes with crimson eyes writhing across and on top of one another on the ground below. She recoiled backwards and the whispers only grew louder, drowning out the crackling torches and the snakes’ hissing. She crouched on the platform and covered her ears, screaming to get the voices to stop but no sound came out-- then all of a sudden, a small but sharp dagger appeared at her feet. Grasping the leather hilt, she felt her blood freeze in her veins as she turned it over in her hands, not sure what to do with it. The whispers grew harsher, and their voices cut into the skin on her arms and neck and face. Their touch burned into her like a brand.

That was usually when she said “fuck this” and stayed awake for the rest of the night. Sometimes she went outside to cool off and met up with Deidara to talk about his art. Each night, she got a little farther into the vision, but each night it kept getting worse. And each day, she grew more frustrated and violent towards Hidan.

She told Hidan everything she had been seeing and feeling in these visions, keeping her eyes closed so she wouldn’t have to feel his judgement or see how crazy he probably thought she was.

But instead, Hidan laced their fingers together and lowered their hands to his lap. “Mira,” he said softly. “You can open your eyes now.” 

Her entire body was shaking violently, and the smell of sweat and heat and alcohol and barbecue in the room made her want to puke. Hidan must have sensed this because he pulled her shirt over her head laid her down on the cold floor. “Just take a few deep breaths. Not too fast,” he coached, brushing the fallen chips and empty pudding cups on the floor away from them. “You’re okay. I promise.”

Mira could feel bile rising in the back of her throat but she lay flat on her stomach and allowed the cool wood to lower her core temperature. After twenty minutes of complete stillness, she felt a little better.

During this time, Hidan lightly traced his fingertips across Mira’s bare back, admiring the amount of skin he was seeing. She had a decent sized scar below her ribs that he told himself to remember to ask about later. There were bruises peppered across her ribcage and one large one at the top of her hips, no doubt the result of their fight earlier that day, or maybe even the one three days ago. He noticed the cut from few weeks’ passed had healed nicely despite not having stitches. Something he contributed to her connection with Jashin, even if she didn’t realize it yet. “How are you feeling?” he asked finally, noticing that her body stopped shaking and she was breathing more evenly now. If he didn’t know better, he would have sworn she had fallen asleep. 

Without moving, Mira forced herself to respond. Avoiding using the word terrified or disgusted, she choked out a grim “drunk, and it’s all your damned fault.” She heard Hidan chuckle, and she pushed herself up to a sitting position, her back to him. “What’d you do with my shirt?” she asked. She couldn’t see it from where she was sitting and didn’t dare allow him to see her chest. The last thing she felt right now was sexy. In fact, the hollow pit of vulnerability and fear in her chest made her wish she had never gone with Hidan’s plan for the night.

Her shirt appeared across her shoulder and she thanked Hidan before putting it back on. Once it was secure, she rose from the ground and used her hand to steady herself on the wall. “Why the hell did you have me do that?” she asked, her voice softer than usual. “That was a nightmare.”

Hidan guided Mira to sit on the edge of his bed before answering. “Because,” he said as he moved to the other side of the bed and laid down. “I needed to know what you were experiencing.” He spread his gray comforter over his legs and rolled onto his side to look at Mira. “Now that I know, and now that we’ve felt Jashin’s energy together, albeit a bit on the small side, we can piece together his message. Unless you’d rather do it alone?”

“ _That_ was small? Good grief…” Muttering to herself, Mira lifted her legs onto the bed and crawled under Hidan’s comforter with him. She felt way too shitty to wander through the maze-like halls this late at night. Plus, she didn’t want Deidara or Kakuzu spotting her. Deidara would kidnap her to show her more clay figurines and Kakuzu would tease her relentlessly for coming from Hidan’s room looking like hell. Although, she supposed, perhaps the latter was a fitting description given Hidan’s reputation. 

She pulled her knees up and curled into a ball on her side, looking at Hidan. He seemed so calm and collected… and sober. When did he have time to sober up? How long was she lying on the floor? Did he process alcohol more quickly than the average person? With a sigh, Mira tucked the bed sheet around her legs and got comfy. Apparently Hidan didn’t care that she was staying the night because he didn’t say anything. She was infinitely glad that he was in a sane mood right now.

“This was good for a first session,” he yawned, reaching over to turn out his bedside lamp. “Or I guess a second if you count the one from before.” With a _click_ , the light went out and the room turned dark. They could still see each other’s outlines, but everything else was pitch black. Hidan was about to knock out when he felt Mira’s weight shift in the bed and the heat from her body as she scooted closer. 

It took him a moment to register that she was probably worried about hearing the whispers again, but once he realized that she was seeking comfort (and possibly without her even realizing it), he put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. He rested his chin on the top of her head, allowing her to fit into the curve of his neck. Her breath tickled his skin and he got goosebumps across his chest. “Just this once,” he murmured, his eyes growing heavy. 

As she was falling asleep, Mira felt Hidan’s hand on her ass, but she was too exhausted to care. Her mind was so blissfully blank that when she smelled sandalwood, it didn’t even register as coming from Hidan. She just breathed in deeply and smiled.

🔽🔻🔽

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, that was a longer one. Thanks for the read! <3 Get ready for a field trip in Chapter 4 with some other Akatsuki members! ((BETA WANTED))


	4. Distance

🔽🔻🔽

The next few days passed without event. Hidan insisted that they couldn’t do such heavy work with Jashin too close together or else Mira’s body would shut down, a fact that continued her aversion to working with the god at all. But Hidan had other plans since they could still work on the small daily routines and rituals that built their relationship to their god. 

This meant that every morning right before dawn, he shuffled down the hallway to her room and allowed himself in. When Mira locked the door to keep him out, he found a way to break the lock or take the door off its hinges. Because of this, every morning they were late for the start of the sunrise by the time they finally made it outside. This morning was no exception. 

“Miraaaaaa~” Hidan sing-songed, opening the woman’s bedroom door with ease since he had already broken the lock late last night. It was about 6:30 in the morning, and even though he didn’t really go to sleep until after midnight, he was always ready to go again right before sunrise. He liked to attribute his fantastic energy reserves to his immortality and the blessings Jashin gave him, so he was mildly surprised that Mira resisted Jashin’s pull so much. He kept telling her that if she practiced meditation with him more seriously that she would be raring to go every morning, too, but she was a hard sell.

That didn’t mean he would stop trying, though. “Wakey wakey!” he cried, moving to the edge of her bed and pulling the covers off of her. She was ready for this because she held onto the blankets like her life depended on it, impeding Hidan’s progress to rouse her from slumber. “You’ve got to stop fighting this,” he chastised with a tut tut. “Daily prayer is essential to Jashinism! If you’re gonna convert, you’ve gotta put in the effort!”

He caught a kick that was intended for his face. Holding onto Mira’s exposed foot, he considered breaking one of her toes for a moment before deciding that having a broken arm in return wasn’t worth it. “C’mon,” he whined. “You’re gonna make me do this the hard way again, aren’t you?” _’The hard way’_ was becoming quite routine for them. With a sigh, he tugged Mira towards him by her foot and dangled her far enough over the edge of the bed that her ass was in the air. Unapologetically, he smacked her cheek and the resounding _smack_ echoed gloriously in her bare room.

With an unladylike growl, Mira jumped up and attempted to connect her fist to his jaw. Before she could make contact, Hidan used her own momentum against her and flung her out of the bed and over his shoulder. “Hi-DAN!” she raged, kicking at him as best she could from the awkward angle. “You can’t keep me up until two in the morning then expect me to wake up for your lame ass rituals! It’s asinine, inhumane, cruel, a total douche move--” 

She was still cursing him out by the time he tossed her onto his preferred prayer spot: a high cliff overlooking the valley below. A river snaked its way through the terrain, leading to a waterfall not too far from where they were located. You could hear the rush of water falling over rocks and the birds start their morning song. Hidan breathed deeply and stretched now that his burden was quite literally lifted from his shoulders. The sun was already peeking over the distant horizon so they didn’t have time to waste. 

Taking his usual seat a few feet away from the edge of the cliff, he turned his body towards the sun and took calming breaths. He knew Mira wasn’t likely to join him but having her there could influence her to join in, especially if she had nothing better to do. 

He sensed her sit beside him and dangle her legs off the edge of the cliff. “That’s not safe,” he chimed, keeping his eyes closed. The sunlight greeted his skin and he felt his body thrum with energy. He savored the moment since it would be the last for a while, and the last morning he and Mira would get to spend together for the indefinite future.

No one had told Mira this, of course, and Hidan was tasked with warning her of the events to come. He just wasn’t sure the right time to do it. Part of him was saddened since he had grown so accustomed to her presence, but with her gone, he’d be able to complete so many gloriously painful sacrifices to Jashin without her interference. In truth, he had hoped by now that she would be making her own sacrifices to Jashin, but maybe their time apart would spur her into deep longing or action. A man could hope. 

After the sun had completely risen, he hesitated to move. Telling Mira about their separation could turn her to a bad mood and ruin his entire day. Or would she be happy to be rid of him? A sharp pang in his chest caused him to crumple an inch inwards, and unfortunately, Mira noticed.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as if it were the most natural thing to do. “Feeling sunburnt today? It’s about time since you never wear sunscreen and can’t seem to tan.”

Cringing at her lack of concern for his well being, Hidan sighed and opened his eyes. “Not all of us are blessed with tanned skin like you are. You sand-nin are impervious to burning, I’ve found.” He stood and stared at the scenery one last time before turning to the woman he had spent most of his days - and some nights - with for the past month. 

“Listen… I’ve got something I need to tell you…”

🔽🔻🔽

It wasn’t long before Deidara’s whiney voice got on Mira’s nerves. They had only been walking for an hour when he started complaining about the lack of a breeze, the time it would take to get to their destination, and the fact that Sasori never liked to talk to him. Instead, he tried to pry conversation out of Mira like a kid asking for more Halloween candy. It was getting old-- fast. 

“Deidara,” Mira said firmly, the vein in her neck pulsating. “You’re really making me itch for a kill and I haven’t had one in a long time. I wouldn’t push your luck just because I sometimes like your company.” 

“You can’t kill him,” Sasori stated plainly from a few feet ahead of them on the path. 

It was the most he had said the entire time Mira had known him. She had thought he might have asked about how Sunagakure had changed since his own departure, but instead, he barely seemed to notice Mira’s existence at all. Of all the Akatsuki members, Mira knew the most about Sasori since they hailed from the same shinobi village. Came from a puppetry family, grandson to the war hero Chiyo, yada yada. He didn’t interest her much, and he didn’t seem too interested in her either, which suited her just fine. Any reminder of home was an unwelcome one. 

Deidara “harumphed” and crossed his arms, now complaining that no one appreciated him enough. “But you’ll see!” he cried a second later, dramatically throwing his arms into the air. “I’ve got a new masterpiece coming soon! You two will be the first to see it! Isn’t it grand? A debut!” 

Whenever Mira asked about where they were going, she was shut down immediately. Even Hidan wouldn’t tell her earlier that morning. _Tch. You think he could have given me more than a thirty minute warning before I had to leave._ She had barely had time to shower and pack a bag before being tackled by an awaiting Deidara. As she was being pushed out the door, Hidan yelled at Deidara to stop harassing her (funny since that’s all Hidan ever seemed to do) since if she _really_ wanted to, she could kill him before he even realized what was happening. Mira wasn’t expecting the compliment and didn’t know how Hidan actually knew that about her, so she tried to catch Hidan’s eye but Deidara had already slammed the door shut in their faces. 

A blessed two minutes on the dirt road passed before Deidara opened his mouth again. “I’m so excited to see you fight, Mira! I’ve yet to see you do anything other than beat the shit out of Hidan! And now you’ve got your weapons! Where have you had them this entire time? You never showed them to me before. Were you trying to keep them in good condition? Such a wasteful thought! They’re meant to be used! What is your favorite jutsu, anyways? I bet you’ve got something to do with sand or rocks since you come from the Land of Wind - or are you a fire style user? Fire and wind go together GREAT for massive explosions!”

On and on and on and on Deidara went. He rarely ever allowed Mira a chance to answer his questions so she stuck to grunting cheap responses and giving affirmations whenever he paused to look at her. She was more interested in where they were going since the terrain began to change. The mountainous forests where the Akatsuki base was located gave way to flat earth. The trees became more scarce and scrawny, as did the water reserves and rivers. If Mira hadn’t been so distracted by Deidara trying - and succeeding in- blowing up an agitated brown bear they bumped into, she would have recognized where they were going. 

Ever since nightfall crept into the skies, the breeze had picked up steadily and blew in their faces. Deidara consistently spit his bangs out of his mouth, to the point where Sasori suggested Deidara shave his head or he’d gladly cut it off. Abhorred by the thought, Deidara began loudly declaring Sasori a demon against all fashion and style and beauty, trying to get Mira to agree and gang up on their fellow Akatsuki member. 

Mira, however, was preoccupied by the unnatural chill in the air for Summertime and how the hair on her arms raised for apparently no reason at all. She wanted to tell the boys to hush but figured that would just make Deidara louder in protest, so she kept her eyes roving the area and her hand on the tanto sheathed in its holster around her hips. 

When shuriken and exploding tags flew through the air towards them, all three shinobi deftly dodged the attack. Six enemy shinobi came out of hiding and began their ambush, two shinobi for each of their targets. Mira hadn’t had a real fight in weeks so she could already feel the strain on her senses as her adrenaline pumped in overtime. 

She made a mental note to spar more seriously with Hidan once she got back. 

Her two attackers wasted no time activating jutsu. One of them was an earth user who tried to crack the ground beneath her feet, and the other was a water user trying to douse her in a frigid jet of water. Luckily, the kunoichi was quick on her feet and able to jump across the cracked stones with relative ease, her feet barely touching the ground before she kicked off again. When she came close to the water user and aimed her tanto for his throat, he deflected her with a kunai and his partner came at her with an earth-encrusted fist. Mira _tch’d_ in annoyance and jumped back, unable to take the kill. 

Switching to her metal fighting fans, she began a more mid-ranged fighting approach that was her specialty. Activating her wind chakra nature, she crossed her arms in front of her chest and forcefully pulled them apart, sending a wave of air rushing towards her opponents. Using the air gust to propel her forwards, she dashed forwards towards them and struck the closest one in the abdomen before pushing off of his body to try and hit the second one’s major artery in their thigh, but he tried to counter Mira’s attack and she ended up nicking his bicep instead. She sustained a blow to the calf but other than being sore, it didn’t bother her. In fact, Hidan hit much, _, much_ harder than that.

As Mira steeled her eyes on her targets again and dodged an incoming water bullet, the earth shinobi forced pillars of rock to shoot up from the ground like geysers. Mira stumbled in her avoidance maneuver and was forced to backstep away from them. “Two on one’s not much of a fair fight,” she grumbled, getting ready to form the seals for a long-range attack she learned during her time with Sunagakure’s Tessenjutsu Squad. As she formed the seals, a massive whirlwind surrounded her and the twin fans spun wildly inside before swirling like shuriken towards her targets. 

The earth user dodged the initial onslaught but what he didn’t expect was for the fans to come back around on their own, and within an instant, they had sliced through both of his shoulder blades and were headed towards the water user. As the fans closed in on their second target, the man’s eyes widened in recognition of something. He managed to dodge one of the blades but the second one clipped his achilles tendon and crumpled him to the ground. Mira jumped forwards and caught her fans in midair. As she descended on her victim, she saw the look of betrayal in his eyes as he watched her approach, no longer resisting his own death. 

As she sliced cleanly into his neck and the blood began to spurt onto her hands, she noticed that the shinobi’s clothing looked familiar… His eyes never left Mira’s face as the light within them began to fade. Despite the fact he was dying, he still managed to spit in her direction. Mira frowned as she stood over his dying body, the blood dripping from her fans and onto the grass below. The metallic smell overwhelmed her and she was about to turn to find the others when she heard the faintest whisper…

_Traitor._

Mira’s entire body froze, and she shivered involuntarily. She had avoided looking at the shinobis’ headbands, but in reality she knew all along.

They were at the border of Wind Country. 

Those shinobi were her comrades.

She was a traitor to her village and its people.

🔽🔻🔽

They didn’t bother hiding the bodies. After one of her ambushers recognized her, Mira refused to even look at Sasori and Deidara’s fallen. Not that it would have mattered anyway; Deidara’s were blown to pieces and Sasori’s looked like they had been mauled by bears. Mira’s corpses were the only ones left with faces. For a brief moment she wished she had a more violent fighting style.

They quickly vacated the area in case another scouting group was close by. Once they stopped by a small creek to break before heading into the desert, Mira had time to clean her weapons and address any wounds. Deidara was rambling about how awesome his explosions were, but Mira honestly couldn’t process anything he was saying. She took off her shoes and waded into the creek to wash off the blood from her hands and weapons. The water was chilly but it helped keep her mind off of what had just happened, if only for a few minutes.

A circle of light shone onto the water from above as the waxing moon peeked out from behind dark clouds. It flickered on the water, seeming to shift its shape every time Mira blinked. Once she focused on the image until it went out of focus, another shape began to take form. In the moon’s place, the curve of a scythe appeared, and within that curve, a reversed triangle fit snugly in place. Mira’s blood froze as the symbol on Hidan’s pendant reflected back at her from the water. Without thinking, Mira reached beneath the surface to grasp at the symbol but other than getting dirt stuck under her fingernails, she didn’t accomplish anything. There wasn’t even a rock at the bottom. There was nothing. Just the reflection taunting her.

Sasori was the one to beckon Mira out of the water so that they could keep moving. Stiffly, Mira forced herself onto dry land and followed the two Akatsuki members into the desert for a long night of walking. After a while, Sasori admitted to having a safe house about halfway to their destination that they would be staying at until it was time. Mira wanted to ask _time for what?_ but she was afraid of the answer.

Deidara had quieted down now that they had entered more dangerous territory and for once, Mira yearned for him to break the silence. The sands were kind on her body and welcoming to her eyes, but she fought the urge to feel joy upon returning to her home country. She felt like a fraud, and this time when Jashin’s whispers came to her in the middle of the night, while they were still traveling through the desert and a bed was nowhere near in sight, she didn’t fight it. Anything was better than letting the remorse eating at her heart take over.

🔽🔻🔽


	5. Spirited Away

🔽🔻🔽

A few hours after sunrise, Mira awoke in a cold sweat. The visions kept getting worse, and this time Hidan was nowhere in sight to answer her questions. Not that he did anyway, but it was nice to have someone to talk to and bounce ideas off of. She still didn’t have a clue what the visions were trying to show her, and she was getting less and less sleep each night. It was a miracle she was able to sleep at all last night given the fact that they had invaded Wind Country and Mira still hadn’t been told why they were there. For all she knew, they were going to return her to Sunagakure for a hefty ransom.

She didn’t want to find out if that were true.

“Oi! Mira! Let’s get going! We’ve still got a ways to go and Sasori hates being late!”

Groaning at Deidara’s unwelcome call, said kunoichi gathered her things and exited the safe house. The tenants inside called Sasori “lord” and seemed more like robots than people, so Mira only gave them the side eye as she walked out the door. They didn’t seem to care that she hadn’t said thank you or goodbye. 

The trio continued their journey in silence again, and Mira shivered under the sun’s harsh light. Sasori and Deidara had hats that covered their faces, and their cloaks covered their entire bodies. For once, Mira wished that she too had the infamous Akatsuki garb if only to ward off skin cancer and sand rash. She hadn’t dressed appropriately for this mission since - oh yeah - _no one had told her where they were going._

She kicked at scorpion carcases as they walked between the dunes. Sasori was leading the way and Mira had a churning feeling in the pit of her stomach. None of them had eaten any breakfast, so she was telling herself that it was nothing but hunger pains. As they kept walking, Mira watched the direction of the sun and compared it to the direction they were headed in; she knew within minutes that they were headed towards Sunagakure. There wasn’t anything else noteworthy within the vicinity. Anyone from the village could find their way back without a map or compass as long as they had directional sense, and in the shinobi academy, it was one of their last lessons before becoming genin. Mira hadn’t been a genin in longer than she cared to admit, but the lesson was one of the most important any shinobi would learn. It wasn’t something you ever forgot if you cared for your life or those of your comrades.

The hours passed slowly, and Mira absentmindedly grit her teeth together as they approached the Hidden Sand Village. Sasori finally broke the silence as they came upon the village’s great walls. “You are here to watch only. Don’t get any ideas about reuniting with your comrades or sabotaging our mission. Any false movements, any suspicious activity, and you’re dead in a heartbeat.” He continued his awkward shuffle to the gate’s one opening and didn’t say anything more. Deidara gave Mira a quick thumbs up as he trailed after Sasori.

Mira’s body moved on its own through the village walls, like she couldn’t stop herself even if she wanted to. Littered across the gate’s entryway were dozens of bodies, some of them ANBU operatives. Mira swallowed dryly, unable to avert her gaze from the faces of the fallen. She didn’t recognize all of them - it was hard to know _everyone_ in a village the size of Suna - but for each one she did know, she sent a silent prayer to whatever god was listening to ask that their souls be at ease. That their spirits not linger here, unseen and unknown. 

They came upon Sasori’s latest puppet, the head guard at the gate. Mira knew him as Kasu, and she had even gone out for a drink with him once a year or two ago. He hadn’t really been type and now she wondered if being Sasori’s minion had anything to do with that. 

Both of the Akatsuki members ignored Mira as they kept walking. Kasu was saying something to Sasori but Mira couldn’t pick up his words. Finally they came into the heart of the village and Deidara summoned one of his clay birds. Jumping astride its back, he looked back at his two traveling companions and flashed an eager grin. “Beautiful, isn’t it? What do you think of my creation, hmm?”

“Just don’t keep me waiting, Deidara,” Sasori grumbled. Mira couldn’t remember how to force sounds from her throat so she stared mutely as her best hope of a decent companion in this situation flew off for some mysterious task. Sasori turned to her then, staring at her like she was a new exhibit in his favorite museum.

Crossing her arms over her chest to keep them from shaking, she ignored Sasori’s weird stare and kept her eyes on Deidara. She took shallow breaths and tried to drown out the sensation that she shouldn’t be there, that she was going to be found out, that she would have to kill another one of her comrades as soon as they saw her. Digging her nails into her forearms helped keep her grounded; she only hoped that Hidan wouldn’t ask her about the tiny crescent cuts that surely remained for the next few days. 

If you had asked Mira what happened over the next few hours, she couldn’t tell you. As Deidara fought the fifth Kazekage, a young man whose company Mira had grown accustomed to from her time training alongside Temari, her mind stayed in a fog. She clearly saw what was happening but a self-preserving part of her brain refused to process it into rational thoughts and images. 

The main part of the fight between Deidara and Gaara that she could remember was that Deidara wasn’t as bad at fighting as she had previously thought, and it must have royally _sucked_ to lose your arm. Deidara didn’t even comment on his lost appendage, though, making her image of him more hardcore by the second. She grew infinitely more surprised as the fight progressed and Deidara had broken through the Kazekage’s absolute defense, and by the time he had secured Gaara’s limp body in the tail of his clay bird, Mira was a violent swirl of emotions. Part of her body wanted to purge itself of all liquid, an easy task since she hadn’t eaten all day save for a granola bar she found at the bottom of her pack. Another part of her wanted to scream, but she wasn’t sure if it was the warrior inside her still loyal to Suna or the child in her that believed all of the five Kage were invincible. Maybe it was a bit of both. 

She had to force her legs to move to keep up with Sasori and Deidara as they departed Suna. The pair wasn’t moving quickly - it was just that she was having a hard time walking without tripping on tufts of sand. If either of them noticed, they didn’t say anything. Rather, the quiet that they encompassed on their way into Wind Country resumed as they exited Wind Country. With their new load, Mira perceived that they probably wouldn’t stop to rest until they deposited it… wherever it needed to go. 

It was easier for Mira to convince herself that the item they were transporting wasn’t Gaara the Kazekage, but an “it” or a package that they were responsible for delivering. The moon shone brightly to light their path, and unfortunately that meant that as long as she walked behind Deidara’s clay bird, she also had a perfect view of “it.” The package was clasped tightly in the curl of the bird’s tail, so all she could really see was the object’s face and its feet. She watched its features closely, worried that it would wake up any moment.

It didn’t stir even once, and sand continuously dripped down its body. Mira made sure to avoid stepping on any of the fallen pieces. 

The sun eventually rose, and before Mira could count the hours that had passed, Sasori declared that they were being followed. Mira was actually able to roll her eyes at his surprise, since she knew all along that _someone_ was going to follow them. It only took a matter of time, especially at the snail’s pace they were moving. 

When their pursuer came into focus, Mira’s breath caught in her throat and she felt her eyes widen. This person she knew. This person was invested in the package. 

She jumped back behind Deidara and Sasori, figuring that they didn’t want her to get involved. This was confirmed when Sasori ordered Deidara to keep going and Mira to stay put. “You better not get in my way,” Sasori commanded, sparing her a second-long glance. He didn’t elaborate on why he wanted her to stay, but Deidara piped up enthusiastically. “Miraaa! If Sasori needs backup, be sure to give it to him. He’s too pig-headed to ask so just keep an eye on the situation. I’m sure he’ll be fine but you never knooow!” 

With that, Deidara jumped on top of his bird and flew off into the distance, leaving Mira _again_ with her least favorite Akatsuki member. _He’s too damned prickly,_ she whined internally. But she knew that despite her opinion of him, he was her current ally, so she drew her fighting fans and waited for an opening. 

The package’s stalker had already declared that he was going to take the package back and summoned his puppetry weapons by the time Mira got into a fighting stance. She kept her iron fans firmly closed but at the ready in case Sasori needed her. From what she knew about him, however, she doubted he would need any help. Especially since his opponent was a puppet master, and anyone who knew Sasori’s background knew that he was infamous for his use of puppets in painting the sands red with blood. 

Mira didn’t really want to see Sasori’s skills in action against Kankuro, but she didn’t have much of a choice. 

Every time Kankuro tried to attack Sasori, the latter’s giant, scorpion-like tail deflected his moves and successfully counter-attacked. It was abundantly clear that Kankuro was a skilled shinobi, but he was paired against an opponent with an unfair advantage. It pained Mira to watch Kankuro get beaten down so easily, but at the same time, she marveled at how well both Deidara and Sasori competed against her Suna family. If she had ever underestimated the Akatsuki before, she knew now not to make that mistake again. 

It took a while for Kankuro to even notice that Mira was present. Sure, she didn’t have the most dominant persona out there, but it was a bit insulting that he didn’t pay her any mind until one of his puppet’s broken pieces landed by her feet. When he finally realized there was someone else present, he seemed to jolt awake. “Mira?” he asked calmly, squinting in the sunlight to be sure he wasn’t seeing a mirage. “Is that really you?”

He took an unsteady step towards her, but his legs buckled beneath him and he tumbled into the sands. Mira sighed and began walking over to him, knowing that his fight was over. Kankuro had gotten clipped by Sasori’s tail earlier in the fight, and judging by the poison leaking from its tip, Kankuro didn’t have much chance to survive. She crouched in front of him, a frown marring her otherwise attractive facial features. “Kankuro,” she intoned softly, watching him struggle to tilt his head to see her more clearly. When she met his gaze, all of the energy she had lost over the past thirty-six hours rushed back, and her eyes glowed a bright magenta. She felt something stirring within her, something she didn’t fully know how to put into words. 

Placing her open palm on Kankuro’s head, she willed him to be calm. Even though his end was near and his vision was surely fading, she wanted to ease his transition somehow. It was a small kindness considering everything else that was going on, but it was all she could manage. Smiling at Kankuro, she poured her genuine, heartfelt concern for him and his soul’s journey into her movements. The same hot, glowing energy she felt when sitting on Hidan’s bedroom floor swirled in her chest and flowed through her lungs with each breath she took. It rippled down her arm and settled into her palm before transferring into Kankuro’s body, and she felt him grow limp against her touch. “Good, that should feel better.” Removing her hand and leaning back slightly, she tilted her head to the side as she continued to address the dying ninja.

“It’s okay. Gaara knows you came after him. The village knows you tried. You’ll be remembered - fondly, even, which is more than I can say for myself.” Mira suppressed an ironic laugh at the thought. “Just go to sleep, Kankuro. It’s better if you sleep.” Once she saw his eyes flicker shut, Mira rose and brushed off her shorts. A huge weight had been lifted from her mind and she practically floated back to Sasori’s side.

The Akatsuki member stared at her suspiciously as she approached. Sasori said plainly, “He’s going to die in agony. That poison will make him suffer.” His tail slid beneath his cloak and brushed against Mira’s foot as it did so. “All you’ve done is waste our time even more.” 

Mira found herself smiling again but didn’t look at Sasori. Instead, she turned her eyes to the horizon. Towards the future. “I have a feeling his death won’t be as bad as you think.” 

Sasori scoffed, a sound Mira didn’t think he even knew how to make. He didn’t say anything more, just turned away and started walking again. The sand shifted soundlessly at his feet as his cloak brushed a trail behind him. Apparently that was all he cared to tell Mira, so she followed along amiably enough, resting her arms behind her head and humming a tune to herself.

She didn’t know what had just come over her, but she felt a thousand times lighter, a thousand times _freer_. Something clicked into place that day on the sands, and it was something Mira didn’t even realize was causing her anxiety and stress. She couldn’t put it into words. _Some things just can’t be explained,_ she told herself, watching a few stray clouds float by and idly wondering if Hidan were looking at the sky too. He would probably tell her that one of those clouds looked like her sweet ass. 

As they neared the edge of the desert, Mira took a deep, calming, cleansing breath. She could taste the sand on her tongue and a sense of closure washed over her. Somewhere deep in her heart and soul, a decision had been made on these sands that she used to call home. She wasn’t a Sunagakure shinobi anymore, and she wasn’t an Akatsuki member. She was another kind of unknown. Something she couldn’t quite name yet. 

“Thank you, Sasori,” she said as they stepped out of the desert and onto grass for the first time in days. “I needed this.”

With a blank stare, he nodded curtly. A knowing look passed between them. That was all they needed.

🔽🔻🔽


	6. The Nightmare Begins

🔽🔻🔽

It wasn’t too long after Sasori and Mira reunited with Deidara that they left her again. “What the hell, guys!” she cried in exasperation. “I just get to sit here? For how long?” 

“Three days,” Deidara stated, pointing at her like she was a dog he told to sit. “More or less. But rather than have you sit outside, you can stay here with us!” He was about to say something else when the Akatsuki’s leader’s image, a man Mira hadn’t officially met yet, flickered to life before them.

“Sasori. Deidara. You’re late.”

Those named abruptly turned to their leader and told him it couldn’t be helped with how strong the jinchuriki was. Without comment, the leader formed a hand seal and activated a jutsu. “Get into position,” he commanded, and the two followed. 

“W-what do I do?” Mira found herself asking, but her voice echoed in the large cavern to no avail. No one bothered to answer her. Instead, she was forced to watch as a large statue appeared from the ground, causing the entire cave to shake. They had been shut inside for a while so despite the darkness, she was able to make out distinct shapes. Everything remained black and white, and she groaned at the thought of being stuck in the dark for three whole days. What the hell were they doing that took so long? 

Setting into a sitting position by the front entrance to the cave, Mira stretched her arms over her head and watched as the statue settled into place. Giant hands stretched upwards from the ground with palms facing the sky, and atop each of its fingertips, the mirage of Akatsuki members began to fill in. The only place left empty was the pinky on the right finger. Mira counted the members present to make sure that everyone was there, and she could see a full house. So why was there an empty spot…?

“Miraaaa! Over here! Hey!”

The familiar timbre of Hidan’s voice settled into Mira’s bones and gave her comfort she didn’t realize she was missing. “Hidan,” she muttered unconsciously, lifting her head to look directly at his specter. He was waving wildly at her and looking quite foolish amongst his stoic counterparts, but it was kind of cute to see him so excited about seeing her.

“She looks great,” he proclaimed loudly, eyes eagerly searching her body for injuries. “Looks like you guys didn’t rough her up too much.” 

“Like we would!” Deidara exclaimed, seeming insulted by Hidan’s reflection. “I happen to appreciate Mira! She’s a better ally than _you._

Sasori grunted and gave both Hidan and Deidara a deadly glare. “Can we get on with the extraction?” 

Their leader immediately quieted down the group and Mira watched as they began this so-called extraction ceremony or jutsu or whatever it was. Now that she could look at Gaara without feeling guilty, she watched his body writhe in agony as something was pulled out of him. Mira stared at Gaara’s body for a long time trying to piece together the Akatsuki’s plan. Practically everyone in Suna knew of Gaara’s status as the Jinchuriki of Shukaku, the one-tailed beast. When Mira was a genin, the fourth Kazekage used to send assassins to eliminate Gaara for fear of his power. She remembered watching the young boy travel through the village alone trying to help others with random tasks and always being rejected. 

When Gaara grew older and entered the Chunin exams in Hidden Leaf, Mira had accompanied the Sunagakure genin as a higher-ranking escort. By then she was a jonin, aged twenty-one, and part of the mission to attack the Leaf. At the time, she didn’t question her orders.

When it was found that Orochimaru had murdered the Fourth Kazekage and posed as him to destroy the Leaf, her blood had boiled and she yearned to tear Orochimaru’s face off. But, seeing as she was unable to track the man and had other priorities in the village, she never got to see that dream to fruition. She wondered if she would ever come face-to-face with that part of the Legendary Sanin now that she was a free agent herself.

While the Akatsuki extracted Shukaku from Gaara, Mira found herself lying idly on the ground staring at the dark space above her. For a while she counted the stalactites. There were two hundred and seventy-one within her field of vision. When that became exceedingly boring, she started drawing pictures in the dirt. Random doodles of whatever came to mind. After a while she was tracing patterns without paying much attention to what she was doing, almost like she was in a trance. Had Hidan been watching, he would have been proud to tell her that she was practicing a form of meditation known as active meditation where your body was kept busy but your mind wandered. But since he was otherwise occupied and unaware of what Mira was actually doing, he couldn’t tell her that. She would have to figure it out on her own.

Mira slowly and unknowingly tuned out the natural sounds of the cave, Gaara’s obnoxious moaning, and whatever muted conversations the Akatuski members were having. Her arm stopped moving too, and eventually her body dropped to the floor. This Hidan _did_ notice, and he looked to her curiously. He could sense that something was amiss but was unable to do anything about it, and that fact irritated him endlessly. All he could do was watch and send a silent prayer to Jashin that whatever the god had in mind, He be fair about it. 

But when was a god of death ever known to be fair?

When Mira’s eyes opened, she was in the forest again, the one from her visions. This time, however, it wasn’t nightfall. Instead, the sun was cresting behind the tree trunks to the shinobi’s right. It seemed stuck there, and time was either frozen or moving in an endless loop. Sitting up on the stone platform, Mira cautiously took in her surroundings. Everything was still, and the torches that normally lit the area were missing. When she peered over the edge of the platform, she saw that the snakes were gone too. Carefully, she shuffled to the edge of the stone and dangled her legs over. Touching her black sandals on the ground, she rose slowly, making sure there wasn’t a trap about to cut her legs off or something. 

When she was standing securely, she looked around once more. Again, stillness and silence greeted her. The vision was unsettling. A metal clatter sounded behind her and she turned around to find the usual black-hilted dagger resting where she had just been sitting. In the soft glow of perpetual sunrise, the blade was tinged crimson. A sinking feeling gripped her chest and she watched as her arm moved to touch the dagger. Once her hand hovered over it, the appendage began to shake lightly. A bead of sweat dripped down her arm and pooled on her middle fingertip, the sun making it look red as well. Like blood. 

It dripped onto the blade and Mira gasped as the sweatdrop sizzled and evaporated before her eyes. Her pulse rate quickened as her hand lowered over the hilt of the blade. She wasn’t even trying to touch it, but her hand seemed to move on its own, like she was possessed by an evil spirit. 

If Mira were thinking straight, she would have sworn that it was Jashin forcing her hand, but in that moment, she was unable to think. Sheer terror gripped her as she picked up the dagger and turned it inwards on herself. Although the blade was white-hot, the hilt was only warm and molded to her palm perfectly. The whispers suddenly started, yelling incomprehensible static in her ears. As if in slow motion, she watched her arm bend at the elbow and force the dagger closer to her chest. When it reached her torso, she was suddenly bare and her naked image reflected in the smooth contours of the blade. The tip pressed into her chest and paused there, simultaneously burning and piercing her skin. The whispers were screaming at her now, and their voices seemed to push the dagger deeper into her body.

Mira heard someone screaming. It was a loud, shrill sound that she didn’t recognize, and as the blade continued pushing in between her ribs and through the muscle, the screaming became more raw and ragged. She watched the blade closely, and right as her vision faded to black, she could have sworn she saw not her own body in the reflection, but that of a reaper.

🔽🔻🔽

Mira awoke to the sound of screams echoing through the cave. At first she thought they were Gaara’s, but once she fully came to, she noticed her throat was raw and her body was shaking violently. _Not this again,_ she breathed internally, raising her hand to touch her throat. The more pressing pain was that in her chest, but she was conflicted as to whether or not she really wanted to look. Her heart was beating strongly, so she told herself that the ache she felt wasn’t real, but a trick of the mind, a remnant of her nightmare. 

Slowly, though, she lifted the hem of her black tank top until she grasped it in her palm, the garment completely removed from her body. She hesitated to remove her eyes from her shirt, but she knew she couldn’t delay forever. Steeling her nerves, she finally checked the spot on her body where the knife had pierced through. 

This time, her scream caught in her throat. She felt sick and lightheaded and _disgusted_. There were emotions swirling inside her that she didn’t even know how to describe. This time she managed a strangled choking sound as the wound in her chest dripped crimson. It was deep and looked to require stitches, but her heart was beating loudly, proudly it seemed, defiant of the death she surely had just experienced. _What in holy hell happened?_

Deidara had been calling to her for a while now, but she was incapable of hearing him. The only thing that caught Mira’s attention was a hand touching her chin. It tilted her head up and Mira’s eyes widened as Hidan appeared before her. It wasn’t really him, but just seeing his mirage calmed her heart. “Hidan,” she cried quietly, her voice wavering. Tears immediately welling in her eyes and she couldn’t stop them from sliding down her cheeks. 

Hidan smiled that soft, genuine smile and it took Mira’s breath away. Without saying a word, he placed his hand on her chest where the wound was bleeding and pressed his energy, his chakra, his life force into her wound. 

Mira gasped as Hidan touched her, not sure what the hell he was doing or why a wave of relief washed over her. She placed her hand over his, and once his mirage disappeared, her palm remained on her chest. Hesitantly, she moved it and found that the wound was completely healed. Taking a breath, she used her shirt to wipe the blood off and put it back on her body. The next time she saw Hidan in person, she was gonna get some answers…

This time when Deidara said her name, it finally registered. “Thank god you’ve stopped screaming. Do you know how long you were out for? Two and a half days! Yeah, that’s a long time! And ON TOP of that, you were screaming for the last twelve hours! It was unbearable!” Exasperated, he threw his hand on his forehead. “Hidan kept asking for leader-sama to let him go to you, but it would have hindered our progress in the extraction. Finally once it was over he scrambled over to you, because good god! I’ve been calling your name a thousand times since we’ve finished!”

Mira stood from the ground, her entire body stiff. If she truly was unconscious for more than two days, their time in the cave was over. And boy, was she glad for that. “Let’s get out of here,” she said, walking over to Deidara and Sasori. They were just… sitting there. “What are you guys doing? We’re done, right? Let’s go.”

Sasori sighed and if he had any moving facial features, Mira would have picked up on his agitation more quickly. “We’ve got company waiting outside. They’ll be here any minute. Once they enter, stay out of my way.”

Deidara watched Mira curiously. “What happened to you over there? You were quiet for a long time and didn’t stir. Then all of a sudden you were screaming.” He flicked his hair out of his face and focused his camera eye on her. “It was quite… interesting.”

Frowning, Mira stood beside him. Gaara’s body was limp on the ground and he wasn’t moving. Wasn’t breathing. Mira shivered, wondering if he had spent three entire days writhing in agony. Even though she had aligned herself with the enemy, that didn’t mean she didn’t have a heart. His death was cruel and perhaps even unnecessary… but she didn’t know why the Akatsuki had gone through all that trouble. So she decided to ask.

“Why did you need Gaara? It looked like you took his chakra, but if it took three days there must have been more to it…” Nudging the Kazekage’s hand with her foot, Mira swallowed. Was that going to happen to her if she wasn’t careful?

Deidara was quiet for a moment before addressing his partner. “She’s been with us this long and even witnessed the extraction. Surely we can tell her now, can’t we?” 

Sasori grunted and shifted his eyes to Mira. After a long pause, he spoke. “It’s not our decision to make. You know the rules.”

With a whine, Deidara was about to say something when all three of them felt the shift in the air and turned towards the blocked entryway. The giant boulder covering the entrance cracked loudly, breaking to pieces in seconds. Once the dust settled, leaf shinobi stood in the boulder’s place. The only exception was an old woman Mira hadn’t seen in years. “Lady Chiyo,” she muttered to herself, unable to hide her surprise. “What are you doing here?”

Lady Chiyo, a well-respected elder in Sunagakure, took in Mira’s appearance and her eyes turned sad. Then she took in the appearance of her grandson and that sadness turned to sorrow. “I heard a rumor that you had defected, Mira. I had no idea you would be with my grandson Sasori.” 

That was all she said before some kid in orange threatened to murder them. The last thing Mira wanted after what she just went through was a fight. Her entire body ached, and even though Hidan had done some freaky voodoo shit to heal her wound, she knew she wasn’t in her best shape to take on other shinobi. Both Sasori and Deidara had endured the same she had over the past few days (well, more or less), yet they didn’t seem fazed by this development. In fact, they stared at the blonde kid with renewed vigor.

Mira decided in that moment that they were both almost as crazy as Hidan. 

It wasn’t very long before Sasori and Deidara split up to fight the leaf ninja. Deidara became greedy and declared he was going to catch a second jinchuriki, that jinchuriki being the blonde loudmouth. Sasori didn’t seem keen on this idea but Deidara scooped up the Kazekage’s corpse and promptly flew out of the cave, leaving Mira and Sasori to deal with whoever remained.

It turned out that that included some pink-haired chick and Lady Chiyo herself. 

Sasori, still not a fan of Mira, warned her not to interfere, and she gladly accepted his terms. She was hoping that just like last time with Kankuro, she wouldn’t have to do much of anything. But part of her wondered… if Sasori did kill both of these women, would she be able to ease their pain? Like the had with Kankuro?

Mira clenched and unclenched her firsts as she thought this, standing a good distance away from the ongoing fight. Even though the poison weapons flying across the room took up a lot of space, Mira was able to stand in a far corner of the cave undisturbed. Her corner of the cave was rather dark compared to the rest, and as she toyed with her hands, something sparked at her fingertips. When Mira saw this out of the corner of her eye and turned her focus towards it, the spark vanished. 

A new sensation arose from within her, an oddly magnetic feeling. Blinking at the strangeness of the sensation, she tried to sort out what the hell was going on. Before she got very far in her thoughts, however, she started getting a headache and the only thing that seemed to make it better was walking down the pitch black corridor at the very edge of the cave. Part of her felt bad for leaving Sasori behind, but he didn’t want her help anyways. Besides, he was sort of like a porcupine. Prickly. Dangerous. And covered in poison.

In this part of the cavern, Mira had to feel her way through the dark. The feeling in her chest, almost like she was being pulled in a certain direction, grew stronger the longer she walked. Carefully, she shuffled her feet and held her hands out in front of her. She didn’t like being blind and started muttering curses under her breath. 

When she paused to wonder if this little side-journey of hers was even worth it, she heard a litany of even fouler-mouthed curses than she was using getting louder and louder. Her lips curved into a smile and she started moving again, this time faster. The feeling in her chest seemed to expand until she felt it in her bones. As she moved, she could feel energy pulsating through her body, propelling her forwards. Before she knew it, she was running.

“Mira! It’s about goddamned time you found me. I’ve been in this shithole _foreeeever_ and I know people call me the reaper, but that doesn’t mean I like to be in complete darkness--”

Acting on instinct, adrenaline, and whatever else was going on inside her, Mira practically jumped into Hidan’s arms. Even though he couldn’t possibly see her in the darkness, he was ready to receive her embrace. “How did you find me?” she breathed, her voice muffled against his neck. She breathed him in and the familiar scent of sandalwood helped ground her. 

“How did I find you?” Hidan asked incredulously. The complete and utter disbelief in his voice made Mira laugh. “That’s the dumbest question you’ve ever asked. Haven’t you figured it out yet?” 

As they walked hand in hand out of the darkness and into the sunlight, Mira was starting to believe she was.

🔽🔻🔽

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh man, I don't know about you, but I can't WAIT to dig into those visions!! Get ready for some fluff, some answers, and a bit of nudity in the next chapter~ <3


	7. Confessions of a Jashinist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMALL LEMON / LIME AHEAD! You have been warned!! Enjoy, you sexy souls.

🔽🔻🔽

Hidan led Mira away from the riverlands and Deidara’s explosions slowly but surely faded in the distance. The farther they got from the battles and the longer they held onto each other, the better Mira’s body felt. She had been exhausted, starved, dehydrated… but all of that slowly faded away with each passing minute. It was odd… but somehow comforting. The rational part of Mira’s brain wanted to question _everything_ that had happened over the past twenty-four hours but the irrational part was fine just existing in that moment… existing with Hidan. 

As they walked, Hidan rambled on about what Mira had missed in the week they had been apart. When she had left the base with Deidara, he and Kakuzu had left shortly after. “We had our own mission,” he explained, leading Mira through some underbrush. “It was similar to yours, actually. Track down the two-tails. Bring ‘em in.” He said it so nonchalantly that Mira wondered... if that task didn’t stress him out, what would?

“It took us a while to figure out where they were located. But now we know, they’re in Kumogakure. Cloud Village.” He looked over his shoulder at Mira trailing behind him. She was focused on where they were going and missed his gaze. “Have you ever been there?” he asked.

“Kumogakure,” Mira muttered, hopping over a large rock. “Lightning country.” She hadn’t been there before, but in truth, she hadn’t spent much time outside of Wind Country and its surrounding territories. “No,” she answered smoothly. “What’s it like?” A low rumble could be heard closeby and Mira suddenly itched for a bath. Her nose twitched as she realized the sweaty, dirty smell in the air was actually coming from her. 

Hidan hummed thoughtfully as he stepped under a leaning tree trunk. “Lots of rocks,” he stated with a nod. “But you’ll be with us next time so you can see for yourself.” Pausing, he flashed Mira a smirk that made her raise an eyebrow. “But before that, we need to get you a bath because you smell like _ass_.” He laughed at Mira’s expense as he brushed back a curtain of ivy and pulled her into a secluded area of the forest. 

A small round pond jutted out of the cliff face on the opposite side, and a ten foot waterfall cascaded down into its pristine waters. The edges of the pond were a beautiful cerulean atop an outcropped rock. The water quickly turned dark as the rock dropped and the depth of the pool revealed itself. When Mira looked over the edge, she couldn’t see the bottom. The rumble of the falls provided a blanket of white noise that almost drowned out a splash in the water. Almost.

Turning her attention from the falls, Mira noticed Hidan’s cloak and pants on the ground to her left and the man himself was missing. “Oh no,” she panicked. Eyes widening, she took a step back from the edge of the water. “Don’t you dare!” 

But it was too late. Hidan practically launched himself out of the pool, wrapped his arms around her thighs and hoisted her in the air. “I _told_ you, you need a bath!” After a routine smack on her ass, Hidan tossed the woman into the cool waters. Laughing triumphantly as he got splashed by her fall, he dodged her weapons when she threw them at his chest. “Need help getting undressed?” he asked cheekily, his eyes flashing. 

Mira pulled herself up on the rock ledge and sat with her feet in the water. She was completely soaked and all of her belongings were heavy from water weight. She started pulling her clothes off painfully slow since they stuck to her body like glue. Each time her clothing hit the ground with a slap, she could feel Hidan’s eyes rove her body. It was a feeling she was used to from her past lovers, but rarely something she felt from Hidan. At least not this _strongly_. 

Once she was completely naked and surrounded by her effects, she glanced over her shoulder at Hidan. He was watching her with that look that made her insides squirm - the one where she couldn’t tell if he was going to devour her in lust or bloodlust. Maybe both. Deciding to toy with him a little as payback, she unfurled her braid and shook her dark hair out until it fell loosely across her back. Bending over, she gave him full view of her body for a split second before diving into the water’s depths. The water was so refreshing after being in the desert for days that Mira stayed down there for a while.

When she surfaced for air, Hidan was missing again. She figured he would find her anyhow, so she brushed her hair back and paddled lazily towards the waterfall. There was another rock ledge just behind the falls, so she dove underwater and resurfaced at the ledge. Placing her arms on the ledge, she rested her chin on them and curiously looked around the small recess hiding behind the falls. The rock face was smooth here, no doubt worn bare from water erosion over the years. Moss riddled the creases where the wall met the floor, and Mira would have touched it if she could have reached it from her position. 

Hidan’s head appeared next to her, emerging slowly from the water. He blew at his bangs in vain before brushing them out of his eyes. Then, he turned around and leaned his shoulders against the rock before closing his eyes to listen to the water crashing around him. It was unlike him to remain quiet unless he was meditating or sleeping, but the moment was one of the few peaceful ones he had experienced in a while. Why not savor it?

Besides, there was a beautifully naked woman beside him. _That_ didn’t happen often.

He heard Mira release a deep breath and he cracked open one eye to check on her. She was oddly quiet as well, something he definitely noticed. But what he also noticed was how she made a bare shoulder look _so_ damned sexy. And she wasn’t even trying! A low whine caught in his throat as he mused at the unfairness of it. Women had it so easy when it came to looking good. Or maybe men were just simple to please. Whatever.

Sliding his tongue across his teeth, he turned his attention from her various assets to her face. She looked calm, but he could feel the tension rolling off of her in waves. He could always tell when something was up with her. _Another gift from Jashin,_ he mused happily, sending the god a silent thanks. It was a blessing to have such insight into the female psyche for once. 

Mira took another deep breath and her eye twitched. Hidan was _looking at her._ She shouldn’t have been surprised since she _was_ naked after all and did tease him earlier, but the length of his stare made her uncomfortable. What was he thinking? Did she take their banter too far? And more importantly… why had she enjoyed it?

She jumped when Hidan suddenly lifted himself out of the water and sat on the ledge. His thigh dug into her elbow but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she could have sworn he leaned into her even more. 

It took everything she had _not_ to check out his exposed member. 

Clearing her throat, Mira decided to break the silence. “Hidan… earlier when you healed me? How did you do that? I didn’t think you knew medical ninjutsu.” She kept her eyes on the moss and tried to ignore the heat in her chest from where she had been stabbed. 

Hidan leaned back, placing his palms behind him for support. The top of his head grazed the rock wall and his hair began dripping water down his back. He kept his eyes on the waterfall as he answered Mira’s question. “You’re right, I don’t know medical ninjutsu.” Somehow being behind the waterfall amplified their voices, so even though they spoke in whispers, their voices carried. Hidan briefly wondered if it was the acoustics or another one of Jashin’s workings. Continuing, he added, “But even though I don’t know medical techniques, Jashin allows me to heal rapidly. Since your connection with Jashin is growing, I figured I might be able to heal you too if you can’t heal yourself yet. I just kind of… pressed into you. With my energy,” he clarified. “And chakra.” 

Mira chewed on her bottom lip as she listened to Hidan’s explanation. “But how did you know I needed healing? Or what to do?” 

This time, Hidan looked her directly in her eyes. His amber orbs met her magenta and a shockwave rippled between them. When he opened his mouth to speak, Mira was hanging on his every word. “I can _feel_ you, Mira. All the time. No matter where you are. When you were in the desert, I knew how tired you were. How torn you were feeling. And now, I can feel your anxiety. Just relax, will ya? I won’t bite.” _Too hard,_ he told himself, unable to contain the innuendo completely. But now wasn’t the time for that, even though he really, really wished it were. 

“So when you were in the cave, you knocked out. Hard.” Hidan shifted his weight onto one of his arms while he ran a hand through his hair, seeming to have a hard time with this next part. “Even though you were unconscious and I was busy with the jutsu, I kept my eyes on you. For a loooong time, you stayed still. Then out of nowhere, you started convulsing and screaming. You didn’t stop. For twelve hours.” 

Mira could tell he was uncomfortable with the memory, but she wasn’t sure if it was out of embarrassment in front of his peers or concern for her wellbeing. 

“You’ve been avoiding connecting to Jashin. You won’t join me on meditations or for prayer, and when I try to talk about your visions or how you’ve been sleeping, you avoid the subject. I’m just trying to help you and you keep fighting it. Why? Why is this so hard for you to accept? Why can’t you let me in?” The pain in his voice startled even himself, so he took a breath and rubbed his forehead roughly. A red mark stained his skin.

“Anyways, I knew Jashin had a bone to pick with you, or a test or whatever you wanna call it. And I knew He wouldn’t be kind,” he said softly. “I don’t actually know what happened to you, but once we finished the extraction, I knew I had to get to you.” He looked a bit embarrassed as he admitted this. “I knew you needed me.” 

Mira finally turned her eyes to Hidan. Slowly, she traced the contours of his body, from his thighs to his hips, up his abdomen, across his collarbone, until she met his eyes. That magnetic pull in her chest started again, and this time, she didn’t fight it. Pulling herself up out of the water, she crossed the distance between them and touched her hand to Hidan’s cheek. It was warm and inviting, with a tinge of pink dusting his cheeks. The schoolboy look on Hidan’s face was one of the most _adorable_ things Mira had ever seen, and while normally she would have teased him for it, this time she pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. Her lips lingered for a moment before she leaned towards his ear. “I do need you,” she whispered, feeling Hidan shiver against her. “Now more than ever.” 

In the same breath, they moved as one, completely in sync. One of Hidan’s hands found its way into her hair and the other snaked around her waist, pulling her into his lap. Mira gladly straddled Hidan’s hips and dug her hand into his shoulder. For a moment, they stared into each other’s eyes watching their mutual desires swirl within their depths. Their hearts pounded to the same rhythm, and it was the first time since Mira had met Hidan that everything felt truly _right._

The moment passed and lips crashed together in a mixture of pressure and heat, Hidan devouring her mouth like it was his first breath of fresh air in centuries. She moaned into his mouth and he roughly grabbed her ass and pressed her harder against him, causing her slick lower lips to rub against his hardened shaft. It was his turn to moan as Mira dug her nails into his shoulder and drew blood. An animalistic sound rumbled deep in his chest as he unapologetically bit her neck, forcing a bruise. At Mira’s sharp cry, he switched to licking and sucking the sore spot, tasting the water and sweat on her skin. 

Mira _never_ wanted him to stop. She dug her knees into the coarse rock and angled her hips so that he was poised to enter her. Right when she was about to slide on top of him, Hidan’s eyes snapped open and he moved his hands to her waist and forcefully lifted Mira off of him. The sudden change in position caught Mira off guard and she lost her balance, falling backwards and toppling headfirst into the waterfall. 

When she splashed to the surface and coughed water out of her lungs, her eyes watered in frustration. “ _Hidan_ ,” she hissed, propelling herself through the water to give him a piece of her mind. “What the actual _fuck_ do you think you’re--” 

Hidan was still sitting on the ground but his back was curved forwards; one hand gripped his thigh and the other one clutched at his jaw. His amber eyes flashed through his fallen bangs and he groaned so quietly that Mira almost didn’t hear him. “I’m _sorry,_ ” he choked out, clearly torn about his decision. “It’s just not the right time.” He quickly sat up straight and slapped the ground beside him, the sound ricocheting off the walls. “But goddamn did you make that hard - literally,” he quipped, his voice dripping in what sounded like sorrow and awe all at once. “Goddamn. Holy fuck. That was _good_. Better than good.” He groaned again, louder this time. “Why do you have to be so goddamned _gorgeous_ \--” 

As Mira listened to Hidan’s curses and compliments fill the air, she glared at him from the water. “ _Not the right time?_ Not the right _time_? I didn’t take you for a fucking _child_.”

In an instant, Hidan was in her face and his teeth were bared. “It’s not _my_ decision, so don’t be such a bitch about it,” he seethed. If he weren’t so angry he’d shake some sense into her. But as it was, he’d probably break her without trying. “I clearly want to fuck you. _Clearly._ ” Leaning even closer, he brushed his lips against hers and flicked his tongue out to taste. Moaning softly, he forced himself to back away and huffed in frustration. “But Jashin says it’s not time. There’s nothing more I can do.” 

Mira’s face flushed with a mixture of desire and impatience. “Jashin says it’s not time? How can He have so much pull on your decisions?”

Hidan collected himself instantly and rolled his shoulders back. Tilting his head to the side, he peered curiously at the woman he’d come to know. She was really still questioning Jashin? After everything? He took a short breath and said, “You still haven’t told me about what happened in the cave. In your vision.”

It was stated so simply, so calmly, so truthfully that Mira shivered as the truth of his words sunk in and her lust bottled itself back up. She needed to tell him. And she would never truly be ready to do so. Mira shivered again and covered her chest with her arms. “I don't… know,” she muttered, going back to looking at the moss. “It was different this time, the forest.” 

Sighing at the unfortunate turn of the evening, Hidan scooted into the pool, careful not to cause too much of a splash. “C’mon,” he said, taking her hands. “Let’s move into the sunlight. You look cold.” 

Mira followed Hidan and he pulled her onto the rock ledge, its surface sun-kissed and warm. He lay down and stretched his entire body, the joints popping loudly. Mira leaned back and rested her head on his chest, her nerves bubbling in her chest. She started again, “this time…” Taking a shaky breath, she tapped her fingertips on her stomach. “This time it wasn’t dark. The sun was hanging on the horizon... The snakes were gone, the torches were gone. The whispers were gone too but they came back later.” 

Hidan’s hand settled on top of hers and ceased her tapping as he rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. “Go on,” he said gently but firmly.

Mira pressed her lips into a fine line as she remembered what happened next. “The dagger appeared and I picked it up. But it wasn’t me. It didn’t feel like it was me. I couldn’t stop it.” Clenching her jaw, she felt the weight of the dagger in her hands as though she were holding it now. “It pressed into my chest. I could feel my skin burning and the smell…” Mira forced herself to swallow the bile that was rising in her throat. “Long story short, I stabbed myself to death. The whispers yelled at me and pushed the dagger in. Then I woke up screaming in the cave,” she finished quickly.

Hidan hummed to himself but didn’t say anything for a long while. “Is that all?”

“Yes,” Mira lied firmly, her stomach doing a flip. She wasn’t sure what she saw in the dagger’s reflection, whether that be a skeleton or a trick of the light or Hidan’s reaper form or something else... She didn’t know, and there was no reason to tell Hidan if she was unsure. 

“Alright, then,” Hidan said simply, moving out from underneath Mira and going back to the pond’s edge to dip his toes in. “Good. Now let’s actually wash a bit of this grime off and get you clothed before you jump my bones.”

“That’s it?” Mira asked, shifting her weight to watch Hidan jump back into the water. 

Hidan yelped when he came up for air. “Jashin’s asshole, that’s cold now.” Shaking some water out of his ear, he turned back around to face Mira. “What’d you say?”

Mira frowned at him. “My vision. That’s all? You’re not gonna drop some wisdom or some shit?”

Hidan dipped the lower half of his face underwater and spit a stream of water in her direction, missing her by a longshot. “You really wanna know?” he asked finally. “You’re not gonna go running away screaming bloody murder?”

Dipping the tip of her foot into the water and kicking at him, she kept frowning. “Just tell me, dammit! I need to know!” She expected Hidan to laugh at her or curse, but instead the look he gave her felt like a dagger to the chest all over again.

“You need to complete a ritual sacrifice. We’ll do it together.” Amber eyes flashing, he added, “Soon you’ll get to meet Jashin for real.”

🔽🔻🔽


	8. Fighting for Nothing

🔽🔻🔽

Mira was getting on Hidan’s nerves about the impending ritual. Ever since he told her that it was necessary, she would not stop asking him if “this was the moment” or if “that guy over there is the one they need to sacrifice”. Each time she brought it up, he always said the same thing. 

“You’ll know when the moment is right because I’ll tell you,” he groaned once more. This time they were sitting on a bench in a little town near the base. “So stop worrying about it. There’s a bit of set up before a ritual so you won’t be blindsided, I promise.” 

This did little to quell Mira’s nerves, even though she always replied with “okay.” Hidan could feel the anxiety rolling off of her, so much so that he tried to distract her as often as possible. On their way back to the Akatsuki base after the waterfall detour, Hidan and Mira did a little sightseeing. They stopped at various teahouses, smoke shops, eateries, monuments, and whatever else they came across along the way. They couldn’t spend long in each location since the Five Great Shinobi Nations were now on the hunt for Akatsuki members, but every stop helped.

What helped the most though was when Hidan stole chaste kisses in secluded alleyways and beneath open-air bridges. Each time, Mira’s body froze and her eyes glazed over. It was like he took the breath out of her lungs. Sometimes he worried if something was wrong with her when he did that, but then she’d awaken and try to lengthen the kiss or bite his lip, and he had to hold her at arm’s length to keep her at bay. “There’s only so much restraint I have,” he’d murmur, a tinge of annoyance in his voice. “So stop it before you make me do something I’ll regret.”

Mira’s response was always the same. A smack to his chest and an incredulous,“You’re the one coming onto me, jackass!”

This went on for the entire two days it took them to get back to base. But once they walked through the doors, Kakuzu was waiting for them. “You two,” he said darkly, glaring at them from a bar stool in the kitchen. “Have kept me waiting. We’ve got jinchuriki to catch. Let’s go.” 

Kakuzu only gave them time to pack a bag before they were off again, this time headed for the Hidden Cloud village and the two-tailed jinchuriki. According to Kakuzu’s notes and Hidan’s voiceover explanation, the two-tails was a cat-like creature sealed within a shinobi in Lightning Country. They had tracked down its location before they had to extract the one-tailed beast from the Kazekage, and now they just had to go collect the package. 

This led them into a dank ass sewer, and while the men didn’t complain, Mira wasn’t above voicing her opinion. “It _reeks_ in here, guys! Couldn’t we have captured her, y’know, outside?” She jumped across the river of runoff in the pipeline and choked on the smell. 

Kakuzu was the one to answer her, but he was really speaking to Hidan. “Keep your puppet in line, Hidan,” he said darkly. “She’s getting on my nerves.”

“Don’t I know it!” Hidan cried, tossing Mira an ungrateful look over his shoulder. “You have no idea, Kakuzu, my man! But what can I say? She’s Jashin’s chosen.” 

Scoffing at Hidan’s stance in front of his bro, she crossed her arms and kicked Hidan in the ass. “Yeah, that’s not what you said when my tongue was in your mouth--”

“Tch! Mira!” Hidan whined, but he couldn’t hide the laughter in his voice. “Kakuzu will kill us without hesitation! Sheesh!” 

They came to the end of the corridor and entered the space where the two-tails led them. Inside, it was a dead end and the woman across from them seemed smug as she talked. 

_Yeah, yeah,_ Mira thought to herself. _You’re not the first one to try and kill these guys._ She tapped her shoe on the ground and waited for the boys to get started. By now, she had seen these two in action dozens of times and was starting to get a little bored. But as soon as the jinchuriki crouched and a blue beast took the place where she was just standing, Mira’s adrenaline started pumping.

“Can’t I just--”

“NO!” she heard Hidan yell as he dodged an attack. “You’re not to get involved! Stay outta this!”

Mira huffed and placed her hands on her hips. The smell of the sewer made her gag, but she swallowed as best she could. “I can handle myself, Hi-dan,” she griped, side-stepping a fallen rock. “I’m not as fragile as you think.”

With a growl, Hidan jumped back beside Mira and picked her up to dodge an incoming fireball. “You _are_ as fragile as I think because you’re _mortal,_ ” he said plainly, setting her down behind a large chunk of debris. “So until proven otherwise, you can die, so just shut up and stay outta the way!” 

Clicking her tongue, Mira did as she was told. She knew Hidan wouldn’t intentionally maim her but Kakuzu was another story. She didn’t want to get on his bad side and be united with Jashin earlier than anticipated. A chill ran down her spine as she thought of the reaper god, and her mouth dried as if she had swallowed a cotton ball. 

She watched silently as the two Akatsuki members successfully subdued the two-tails and Hidan began his ritual. “Now pay attention,” Hidan ordered her as he marked the floor with Jashin’s symbol. “There will be a quiz on this later.” He lay down within the symbol and held his pendant in his left palm, praying quietly with his eyes closed. Mira watched but a sigh still passed her lips. “What do I get if I ace your test?” she asked after a while, but Hidan was too focused to notice. 

Kakuzu looked at his map as though it held all the financial secrets of the world, and Mira was about to ask him about it when Hidan stabbed himself through the heart. She visibly cringed as Hidan’s body convulsed and went limp. He wouldn’t stay that way for long but it always made her squeamish to see him lying on the floor with a stake through his chest. _And you’ll be the same soon,_ a voice in her head whispered. 

Jumping up from her sitting position, she started pacing. Anything to keep her body and mind occupied. The muck sloshed beneath her shoes and she grimaced, praying the smell would go away with just a little air time. A strangled cough sounded from across the room and Mira glanced in Hidan’s direction. He pulled the stake from his chest and got up like it was nothing. Kakuzu said something about his rituals and prayers taking too long, and Hidan promptly retorted that Kakuzu was going to hell for all the bounties he went after.

Mira sighed. Nothing between them ever changed. 

Zetsu materialized from the floor and gave Mira a start. He blinked in her direction before turning to the jinchuriki. “I’ll take this one,” he said. “Move on to your next target.”

Grateful for the reprieve, Mira marched out of the massive drainage pipe as quickly as her legs would carry her. Once outside, she stretched her arms over her head and yawned. “Where to now?” she asked once the men exited the shadows. 

Kakuzu grunted and took out his map. “Land of Fire is next.”

“Oooh, I love Fire Country!” Mira cried, clapping her hand together. “It’s so pretty!” When Kakuzu gave her another annoyed look, she stuck her tongue out at him. “I’m allowed to enjoy my life even though you choose to live yours like a sack of potatoes.” 

Rolling up his map and putting it away, Kakuzu sighed. “Hidan. She’s doing it again. She keeps getting louder the longer she’s around us.” He took a few steps forward towards the right, seeming to know the way to Fire Country. “You’re rubbing off on her.”

Hidan grinned and rushed over to Mira’s side, falling into step beside her. “Oh, I _know_ I am.” Leaning towards her with a mischievous look on his face, he tried to grab her in his arms but she jumped away in the nick of time. 

“Clean yourself up a little first, god. You’ve still got blood all over you.” 

“Tch. I thought you liked it when I’m dirty,” he said, wiping the blood off his mouth and chest with the sleeve of his robe. “Hey! Kakuzu! How long is it gonna take us to get to Fire Country?”

Hidan soon found out that it was a two days journey to Fire Country.

🔽🔻🔽

Kakuzu was in charge of the map and directions, which was fine with Mira since that meant she got to enjoy the scenery. Everything in Fire Country was green and lush, and every time she pointed out a new plant or bug to Hidan, he feigned interest just to humor her. He thought it was cute, overall, how excited she became over the smallest things. Really great tea at the teahouse? Excited. Kakuzu letting her go shopping in the open-air market? Excited. Seeing a stray dog? Excited. Getting to _pet_ the stray dog? Made her day. 

Hidan liked having Mira as a traveling companion since she was much better company than Kakuzu, and definitely better to look at. She would actually hold a conversation with him and ask questions, something Kakuzu never cared to do since it wasted time or energy. Hidan used this time to explain the finer details of Jashinism to her, and since she had nowhere to run, she actually listened. It seemed that the theory behind it didn’t bother her - it was just the application that got under her skin. _She’ll have to get used to that,_ he told himself often. _She_ has _to._

While they traveled, Hidan wasn’t always able to conduct his routine prayers, so he made up for it when he sacrificed souls to Jashin. Every time he performed a ritual sacrifice, he quizzed Mira on the steps and why he took them. 

“What’s the first step?” he asked one afternoon, walking backwards so he could watch her responses to his questions.

“Draw the ritual circle,” Mira droned, already tired of the quizzing game.  
“What do you draw it with?”  
“Either your blood or the sacrifice’s blood.”  
“Will the ritual work if you draw the circle in another medium?”  
“No,” Mira answered hotly, attempting to kick Hidan in the thigh. He evaded her easily and asked the next question. “What else do you have to do in order to conduct the ritual?”  
Rolling her eyes, Mira kept her mouth shut. She knew the entire sequence by heart, so this exercise was pointless.

Picking up on her rebellion, Hidan aimed a punch at Mira’s face but she blocked it with her forearm. “Answer the question,” he ordered. Instead, Mira kneed him in the stomach and quickly spun around his body, content to skip ahead and catch up with Kakuzu before the man came to find them. Kakuzu was always scary grumpy when she and Hidan lagged behind and tried to crush one of them with his fist. Luckily, he hadn’t hit Mira yet. Hidan healed quickly so it was of little consequence if he endured a strike.

As Mira walked away, Hidan rushed her from behind and tackled her to the ground. Holding her wrists above her head in the dirt, he glared down at her. “What else do you have to do in order to conduct the ritual?” he asked again. Mira squirmed beneath him and he gripped her wrists tighter. 

There was venom in her eyes as she glared back at him. “Fuck off,” she spat, but she stopped struggling against him since it wouldn’t do her any good. “This is stupid, Hidan. I already know all the steps. We’ve done this a dozen times.”

The man removed one of his hands from her wrists and placed it on her chest, directly over her heart. It beat strongly beneath his palm and he applied pressure to the area. It felt like he could have reached inside and cupped the organ in his hand. “You haven’t lived them yet,” he breathed. “It’s not the same when you’re actually going through the steps. You could panic. Back out. And you _can’t_ do that, Mira. You specifically.” 

Confusion broke across Mira’s face as she watched Hidan’s expression change from stern to somber. She didn’t want to ask what he meant. She didn’t want to know. 

Sighing, Hidan released her and helped her up off the ground. “You never take this seriously enough,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “Jashin will kill you unless you pick up the pace.” A pleading look entered his eyes as he said the next thing. “I don’t want to be the one to have to kill you, Mira. I really don’t.” Turning away from her, he started walking in the direction Kakuzu had disappeared.

A strong breeze battered Mira’s backside and urged her to follow him. But she stayed still, allowing him to leave her behind.

🔽🔻🔽

For the next few hours, no one said a word. Kakuzu occasionally pulled out his map and checked it with various landmarks, but he seemed to enjoy the quiet that fell over his companions. He wasn’t sure what had happened, but he quite frankly didn’t care. They started covering ground faster until finally, they came to a large staircase that wound up a hill.

“There better be a jinchuriki up there,” Hidan whined, trailing after his partner. “Might be,” Kakuzu replied, leading the way. 

Mira followed the two Akatsuki without comment. The higher they climbed, the more she wanted to grab Hidan’s arm and point out what she saw. Trees, birds, a mountain range in the distance. But he was already well ahead of her, and she didn’t want to seem needy. Taking a deep breath, she pushed herself up the stairs and tried to focus on the burn in her legs. As her heart began to beat faster from the exertion, she felt the ghost of Hidan’s hand on her chest and scowled. He’d kill her if Jashin told him to. And she was running out of time. 

Mira’s chest constricted tightly and her ribs felt like they were about to crack. Despite the pain from this new revelation, part of her couldn’t help but admire Hidan’s dedication to his religion and his god. Then she wondered… did he have a choice? If his immortality came from Jashin, couldn’t Jashin kill him too? Was Hidan a willing follower of death or just a slave to it?

She lifted her head from the staircase to watch the man ascend the stairs, and she caught him looking over his shoulder at her. The pain she felt was reflected in his eyes. 

They really did have some weird connection. Maybe it was fate… or maybe a god was just toying with them.

By the time Mira had gotten to the top of the stairs, Hidan and Kakuzu were already making waves. Kakuzu had punched through the solid stone door and the pair had entered the temple sitting atop the plateau without invitation. Some head monk guy was stepping forward to defend the monks’ territory. Mira clenched her jaw, thinking this couldn’t end well for anyone involved. “Jinchuriki?” she asked, cracking her knuckles. 

“No,” Kakuzu replied. He went on to explain that the monk was a past shinobi with a bounty of thirty million. 

Mira smiled wide. If he wasn’t a jinchuriki, she actually stood a chance in a fight. The itch to let out her frustrations had grown in the past few hours, and she needed to blow off some steam. If she couldn’t get Hidan to spar with her since he was being a moody brat, these guys would do just fine.

Hidan caught onto Mira’s plan the instant she made her decision and yelled at her. “STAY BACK, WOMAN! I mean it!” 

“Over my dead body,” she barked back, pulling out her twin fighting fans. “You get outta my way, undead asshole. I gotta kill something if I can’t kill _you_.” 

The Akatsuki boys charged the head monk and Mira watched as he activated a powerful jutsu. A spirit with dozens of hands materialized from thin air, and the boys, seeming unfazed, kept charging blindly ahead. It was exceptionally satisfying to watch them get pummeled to the ground. 

As Hidan picked himself up and declared the head monk _his_ kill, Mira skirted around the battlefield and approached the group of monks on the stairs of the temple. They looked surprised to see a woman and some even entreated her to take shelter. Chiriku, the head monk, would protect her.

Mira smiled at the kindhearted souls and took a few steps towards them. They seemed genuine, so it was unfortunate that her trio had crossed their paths. “You’ve misunderstood,” she told them as she took a step. “Chiriku? Your leader? He’s going to die.” Her smile shone brightly in her eyes as she got closer and closer to the monks. “You’re going to die too, sorry to say. But don’t worry, I’ll make it quick. You won’t feel a thing. Be glad that you met me instead of those brutes down there.” 

Each time Mira swung one of her fans, at least one monk perished. It was a bit upsetting that the more they fought back, the more fun Mira was having. _Hidan must really be rubbing off on me like Kakuzu said,_ she mused as she sliced through another man’s jugular. She dodged an incoming tackle and jumped off of a larger man’s torso to cast a windstorm jutsu from high in the air. It was all a dance. And it was one Mira knew well.

If Hidan had been watching, he would have been proud to know that the effort he put into training Mira’s reflexes had paid off. 

After a few tens of bodies had fallen to the ground, Hidan ran up the stairs to help with those remaining. “Miraaaa,” he cried, seeing the bodies that were scattered across the floor. “The sacrifices, Mira! You’re doing it all wrong, they’re supposed to suffer for their transgressions!”

The kunoichi scoffed and ignored him. She didn’t want to get into an argument again, especially in the middle of a fight. 

They quickly sought out every last soul in the temple and disposed of them, Hidan going with his ritualistic sacrifice route and Mira going with her instantaneous, painless one. By the time they were walking down the steps wiping blood off their blades, Mira and Hidan were almost back on normal terms. “You’re barbaric,” she chastised as they followed Kakuzu out of the temple. “You charge in like a wild boar.”

Hidan rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air. “For the love of god, all you do is jump around and wave your little fans at people! You _papercut_ people to death! _That’s_ barbaric! There’s no dignity in that!” 

The two of them continued to go back and forth critiquing each other’s fighting style until they approached the collection point for Kakuzu’s bounty. “This is it?” Mira asked in disbelief. “It’s a run-down bathroom.” 

Kakuzu hoisted the lead monk’s corpse higher on his back and walked inside without comment. Hidan followed suit, saying something about them taking a leak together. 

“I’ll just stay here then,” Mira jeered, planting her ass on the stoop outside. It was a beautiful day so she tried to brush off her discontent and enjoy the summer breeze. But with each cloud that passed by, she wondered what was taking the two men so long… and where the hell would they put a body inside a bathroom? And how did they get paid for it? 

She took a mental note to ask Kakuzu about it once he emerged. Part of her considered going inside the bathroom to check it out but since it was the male’s lavatory, she didn’t want to step in piss and god knows what else. 

About ten more minutes passed and Hidan emerged from the building with cheeks sucked in like he had just eaten sour candy. “Shit reeks in there,” he commented, taking a seat beside Mira. He lifted his cloak sleeve to his nose and quickly recoiled. “Of course my clothes would soak in the stank...”

Mira couldn’t help but laugh at his expense.

“It’s not funny,” he cried, reaching an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his chest. “See for yourself! It’s awful!” As she tried to detangle herself from his arms and avoid the foul smell wafting off of his body, Mira’s protests dissolved into more laughter. The sound was infectious and soon they were both giggling and play-wrestling in each other’s arms like a couple of idiots. It was a nice change of pace from the back and forth bickering they usually resorted to. “Stop… it,” Mira wheezed, swatting Hidan’s advances away. “You’re killing me!” 

The smile tugging at Hidan’s lips faltered and that pained look from earlier marred his features. He retracted his hands from her body and sighed glumly. “You don’t make this easy, that’s for damned sure,” he muttered, leaning his weight into Mira’s shoulder. “My life used to be soooo simple, y’know? Kill some guys, do some prayers, steal some food…” He turned to the woman Jashin had chosen and tapped his fingertip to her forehead. “Then you came along and fucked it all up.” 

Kakuzu appeared behind them then, and when Hidan turned around to give him grief about his new aroma, the immortal stood quickly and pulled Mira to her feet. 

“What?” she snapped, following his gaze to the door. It wasn’t Kakuzu standing there, but a different man entirely. A leaf shinobi.

Asuma Sarutobi.

🔽🔻🔽

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIDAN'S SONG: This is inspiration for the fic! "WASTED ON YOU" by Evanescence  
> MIRA'S SONG: "Fighting for Nothing" by Meg and Dia
> 
> This was a nice little transition chapter because shit's about to go down over the next few chapters! Buckle up, buttercup! We've got Asuma's fight and then... the long-awaited sacrificial ritual, ahhhh! AHHH! Are you screaming with me?! I'm so pumped!


	9. Hello and Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Some dialogue in this chapter (and a few places in the Kazekage chapters) are DIRECT dialogue from the anime/manga. I DO NOT OWN THIS DIALOGUE and give all credit to the original writers.

🔽🔻🔽

Before the pair could react to the man’s sudden appearance, the Leaf ninja threw shuriken in their direction. Hidan deflected the weapons with his three-pronged scythe and shoved Mira behind him. Within the next two seconds, two other Leaf shinobi rushed Hidan from the sides, ready to impale him with their swords. Mira grabbed Hidan’s shoulder to yank him out of the way, but his body was rigid and glued to the spot. “What the--”

With her next breath, she had to jump back and watch as the enemy shinobi pierced through his torso. Blood splattered from Hidan’s chest onto his face, and Mira cursed under her breath. That had to hurt like a bitch. 

Hidan’s next words mirrored her thoughts. “That hurts… What’s with you jerks?” The man furrowed his brows as he eyed the two shinobi at his sides. The men fiddled with their weapons in surprise, causing Hidan more anguish. “Don’t push it in deeper like that! Hey, that hurts!” he yelled loudly.

“Is this guy… immortal?” one of the Leaf choked out. 

“Isn’t it obvious? So.. who’re you guys?” 

“This isn’t the time for small talk, Hidan,” Mira chided, placing her hands on her hips. “They clearly mean to kill you.” Hidan’s responding “tch” only agitated her further. She unsheathed her tanto knife and spun it between fingers. “You got this or do you want me to jump in?” Although she was playing down her anxiety, she was concerned that she wouldn’t be able to free Hidan from that holding jutsu without getting injured herself.

Asuma Sarutobi, the leader of the Leaf’s four-man squad, spoke then and interrupted the couple. “We’re Hidden Leaf Shinobi. We’ve been ordered to either capture or eliminate you Akatsuki. Akatsuki operate in teams of two, but you have three in your party…” He hesitated for a moment. “Our intention was to take down one of you first and then capture the other. But you’re pretty tough, as was expected.” 

In a flash, Kakuzu jumped out from behind the shadow user on the roof and knocked a huge hole in the building, successfully releasing the jutsu’s hold on Hidan. 

The Leaf shinobi all jumped away and formed a defensive formation a short distance away and Kakuzu landed on the ground. Upon seeing who Hidan was fighting and recognizing the banner across the jonin’s waist, he made a comment about Hidan being interested in money for once.

Hidan started using the blood from his wounds to draw his ritual circle on the ground with his shoe. “Stay outta this, Kakuzu. I’m gonna use these guys for my ritual.” After a pause, he addressed Mira. “And you, pay attention! I’m gonna show you how to truly praise Jashin.” 

Mira stopped twirling her tanto and gripped it tightly. Taking a step forward, she was about to declare Hidan’s plan a reckless mistake and lend him a hand whether he liked it or not, but Kakuzu held his arm out to stop her. “Let him have his fun,” he said, taking a second to glance her way. “It’s rare for Hidan to truly be challenged, so this should wear him out for once.”

Tapping her blade idly against her thigh, Mira grumbled acquiescence. She didn’t like it, but if it’s what Hidan really wanted, she’d let him have it for now. While she waited for the Leaf to make their move, she watched their shadow user. During the chunin exams three years ago, she had watched a shadow user spar against Temari and stave off her attacks. After a long, drawn out fight, he surrendered. The boy in front of her now looked like that same shinobi, and Mira knew he was good at devising the best moves to make. If there was anyone she would go after to help Hidan, it would be that boy. The strategist. Without a strong head, it was only a matter of time before the body made a dumb move and got itself killed. 

That was what Mira was counting on. All they had to do was cut off the head. 

Hidan and the Leaf jonin jumped into action quickly. Using the swords he had been impaled with, Hidan traded blows with the enemy. The shadow user kept his jutsu going and used his shadow to follow Hidan around the field. It was hard for Mira to watch Hidan fight while outnumbered, but so far the Leaf seemed content with only using their strongest player on the front lines. Hidan, more agile than Mira gave him credit for, jumped nimbly through the air, twisting and spinning around the field with the help of his scythe as an anchor point. It was actually pretty impressive. 

It took little time at all for Hidan to acquire a sample of Asuma’s blood and rush back to his ritual circle. In that time, however, Asuma used a fire-style jutsu that scattered a cloud of ash across Hidan’s perimeter. With a snap of his jaw, the man set the ash ablaze and enveloped Hidan in an inferno.

The blast was so large that a wave of heat crashed over Mira and Kakuzu even though they were a safe distance away. In the aftermath of the blaze, Mira couldn’t see Hidan to assess the damage. Rather, she turned her attention to the Leaf since Hidan should have activated his ritual by then. As she scanned the enemy’s body for injuries, Mira noted severe burns that curled up his right arm, neck, and the side of his face. She’d never seen Hidan handle burns before, but with how raw the man’s skin looked even while in his skeletal reaper form, she wondered just how quickly Hidan would recover from this and if he’d actually accept medicinal help for once. 

When the smoke cleared and Hidan stood with his shoulders back, head held high, proudly leering at his sacrifice, Mira concluded that his revelry in the pain would outweigh any help with healing that she could offer. This was especially true once Hidan used his retractable spear to stab himself in the thigh. As he watched his victim stumble to the ground, Hidan’s manic laughter filled the air and he emphatically declared that any pain they shared, he transcended and turned it into pleasure. 

Heat quickly rushed to Mira’s face as she thought about the implications of what Hidan had said and how it might apply to her. Shared pain as pleasure wasn’t something she considered… well, at all, but as soon as the idea emerged, she mashed that thought as far down in the depths of her conscience as she could manage. Sooo not that time for that.

Even though Hidan was in the middle of a fight, Mira could have sworn that his eyes flickered to hers in that moment and gleefully watched her inner struggle. She switched her attention to the shadow user again and avoided all eye contact with the crazed Jashinist. 

She was glad that she had shifted her attention since the boy looked panicked and was already moving his shadow to stop Hidan’s movements again. By now, Hidan was poised to impale himself on his spear, piercing his vital organs and ending the fight quickly. It all depended on if the shadows made it to him. 

Again, Mira started to move to Hidan’s aid when Kakuzu actually put his hand on her arm to hold her back. “Wait,” he ordered, his eyes not leaving his partner. “It’s not over yet.”

Mira’s body tensed as she watched the youngest Leaf latch onto Hidan’s shadow and slowly force him out of his ritual circle. “You sure about that?” she seethed, starting to push against Kakuzu. “It’s going to shit real fast and you just wanna stand here?” Within seconds, the boy had turned his shadows to spikes and pierced through multiple points on Hidan’s body, and an animalistic snarl tore through Mira’s throat as she fought against Kakuzu’s hold. “Let me go!” she hissed at him, tearing her nails into the man’s flesh. 

Even Hidan started entreating the man for help. “Kakuzu! Help me out! Let her go and get your ass over here!” When his partner didn’t answer, he called out to his would-be lover. “Mira! Babe! Hurry up!” 

But Kakuzu didn’t budge, and he used his entire body to keep Mira in place, his size formidable against her own. “You bastard,” Mira spat at him. “What kind of partner are you?”

Asuma’s chakra-infused blade sliced cleanly through Hidan’s neck, and only once the latter’s head rolled to a stop and his body dropped to the ground did Mira manage to pry herself free. “Fucking hell,” she choked out, immediately sprinting towards the three lesser opponents and slashing at them with her short sword. Her blade destroyed one of the man’s eyes and struck a deep gash into the other one’s arm. But the shadow user, her main target, was blocked by his teammates. “I’m going to _destroy_ you,” she breathed, her voice shaking with rage. 

She jumped back and slid to a stop next to Hidan’s decapitated head. “Babe,” Hidan cried happily. “You came for me!” In the moment the Leaf stood stunned at the fact that Hidan was alive, Mira shot daggers from her eyes at Hidan’s head. “You _arrogant_ piece of shit! I’m going to murder _you_ next!” 

Scoffing, Hidan started yelling again. “Yeah well unless we kill these fuckers, you won’t get the chance to. KAKUZU! Come move my body!” 

While Hidan whined and pleaded for Kakuzu to sew him back together, Mira used the ninjas’ stunned silence to her advantage. Activating hand seals as she moved, she closed the distance between her and the shadow boy again, this time using a tailwind to move faster. She reached the trio easily and slammed against the boy’s bodyguards with her palms, the wind from her jutsu forcing the men to tumble to the ground. The magenta of her eyes swirled with uncut rage, and she used her body weight to swing her arm more powerfully than she could have on her own. 

The boy jumped back as Mira predicted he would, and she slashed upwards to catch him. He emerged unscathed and she had to jump off the ground to catch herself before she slammed face-first into the dirt. The move caused her knee to jam, but she didn’t care as long as she managed to kill that guy.

Shadow boy was exhausted from overuse of his jutsu, so Mira figured it was only a matter of time before she reached him. He couldn’t dodge forever and his bodyguards could be killed quickly. _Just need a plan..._ she mused, eyeing them cautiously now that they were on alert. Shifting targets, she sprinted towards the one with a bandage over his face and managed to slit a deep cut into his forearm. Deflecting his kunai with her tanto when he tried to counter attack, Mira used her other hand to pull the dagger from her boot and slash deep into his forearm. Blood immediately began flowing from the wound and the man stumbled backwards. Right as she was about to close in and finish the job, shadow boy aimed his jutsu at her and she had to dodge to avoid being frozen in place.

This would have been immensely easier if shadow boy were already dead. Clicking her tongue, she addressed the Leaf. “If you guys stood still, this would be over quickly. You wouldn’t have to suffer.” The blood flowing from the one man’s arm quickly dripped into a puddle of the ground. Turning her gaze to their youngest, Mira features hardened. “Except for you. I’ve got a bone to pick with you.”

Hidan overheard his woman and laughed, the sound cut short when he hacked up a mouthful of blood. “If I knew all it took to get you riled up was an injury, I would have done this ages ago!” He cracked his neck now that it was reattached thanks to Kakuzu. “Ahhh, it feels so good to be whole again!”

Hidan’s movements distracted Mira just enough so that when she identified movement to her left, she reacted too late. As she spun on her heel to avoid Asuma’s chakra blade coming at her chest, the second blade in his other hand pierced through her back, directly into her lung. All Mira felt at first was fire. The red dripping from her lips was surely liquid fire, and her chest heaved and expunged the toxin spilling from her veins. She slashed at Asuma’s retreating figure but missed by a mile. Time slowed as she fell to the ground, her eyes searching for Hidan. The man’s eyes widened and he started to sprint towards her. As he rushed into her body and caught her, nearly toppling them over, Mira wondered if he too felt the fire. She coughed and spurted blood into his face, so with a shaking hand, she attempted to wipe it from his cheek but smeared it instead. 

“Goddammit,” he choked out, pressing his hand directly onto the wound in Mira’s back. Blood slipped between his fingers as he pressed harder. “I told you to stay outta this, woman. For this exact reason!” His voice shook, the area crackling with his intense emotions, mostly anger. “You would have been fine. But you just had to jump in!”

Mira managed a pained smirk as she mumbled, “at least I didn’t lose my head like some idiot I know.” When she coughed this time, Hidan felt more blood spurt into his hand from the open wound and he grit his teeth together. “Work faster, dammit,” he hissed, pressing more of his chakra and energy into the wound. He could tell that for some reason, it made Mira’s pain worse since her body tensed and her eyes started to roll back. 

It took far, far too long for Jashin to decide to revive her. When Mira came to and started gasping for air, Hidan nearly pissed himself. She had been unconscious for 120 seconds, the longest two minutes of his life. He had managed to heal her wound to give her function action, but she still had a painful recovery ahead, and if she wasn’t careful, her wound could reopen and she’d lose too much blood. Hidan would have scolded her if he didn’t have another task at hand. 

In the time it took for Hidan to heal Mira, none of the Leaf so much as moved a muscle since Kakuzu kept a chokehold on their jonin. Every time one of them started to move, his grip tightened until they settled again.

Forcing Mira to walk at his side by gripping her waist, Hidan crossed the distance to his ritual circle and stepped inside, nodding to Kakuzu once he was situated. His partner released Asuma, who fell to the ground and rattled a few breaths. The shadow ninja stirred upon seeing his teacher suffer, but he was too far away to do anything. Mira turned her gaze to the boy and smiled. Although she was weakened right now and couldn’t act, she claimed possession of his fate. It was only a matter of time before he joined his sensei. 

Hidan tore his gaze away from Mira to watch his prey. “You’ve made a huge mistake coming here today. But I suppose it was fate. Perhaps you’re actually lucky to be one of Jashin’s sacrifices. Maybe this wasn’t a chance encounter at all.” He removed his retractable spear from his robes, flicked it open until it was at its full length, and held the tip to his chest. “I’m gonna make this hurt,” he stated, a wicked smile playing on his lips. 

Mira moved on instinct and placed her hand over Hidan’s, stopping his movements. “Wait,” she implored, staring at Asuma’s body. “Let me,” she murmured, gripping the spear tightly. 

“What are you planning?” Hidan questioned, unable to keep the skepticism from his voice. His eyes widened as he felt her body tense and she avoided his eyes. 

“Remember? You’re next.”

Quickly, Mira claimed possession of the spear and stabbed it into Hidan’s beating heart as seamlessly as she could. As the fatal injury took hold, she thought she saw a glimmer in his eye and the twinge of a smirk on his lips… but that must have been her imagination. Mira kissed his cheek as his body slumped into her arms. 

The Leaf boy started running then, running to his teacher. If Mira didn’t have to hold up Hidan’s dead weight, she would have loved to watch him stumble to the ground, defeated. One minute passed and Hidan started twitching in her arms. His skin faded from black to his natural skin tone, and he awoke with a start. Mira pulled the spear from his chest and was about to drop it when Hidan clasped the pole in his hand and pressed his cheek against hers. “What a sly move,” he murmured, licking a sensitive spot by her ear. When she trembled against him, he chuckled darkly and pressed the tip of the bloodied spear beneath her breast. “How about I return the favor?”

As he pierced her shirt and the spear pressed into her skin, a small whimper graced his ears and he reveled in the sound, still on a high from his own death and subsequent resurrection. “You’re almost ready,” he whispered, gripping her hip with his free hand. “We’re _so close._ ” His hand clasped at her bone with bruising intensity, and she steeled her nerves to push back against him. 

The two stood in a stalemate long enough for the Leaf’s reinforcements to arrive and start their counterattack. Crows engulfed Hidan, Mira, and Kakuzu in a flurry of black feathers, and Hidan pushed Mira to the side so he could slice through them with his scythe without nicking her too. “Like some birds are gonna hurt us!” he jeered loudly. 

The Leaf’s new bodies took Asuma to the roof and Mira was about to jump after them when Hidan stopped her with a shake of his head. “Outnumbered,” he stated, continuing to hack away at the birds. 

After the Leaf had relocated their injured party, the birds puffed into smoke. Hidan had just begun addressing the two remaining enemy on the ground when he caught notice of a flock of white birds flying in formation overhead. With an annoyed click, he and Kakuzu took a leap backwards and dragged Mira with them. “Stay here,” Hidan spat at the Leaf shinobi, his irritation increasing by the second. “Damn that leader! I’m gonna come back and kill you so don’t go anywhere!”

Hidan wrapped his arm around Mira to teleport her with him, but she pulled away at the last possible moment. “Mira,” he warned, reaching for her again. “We’ve got to go. Bastard’s orders.” 

She took a step back and pressed a finger to his lips. “I’ll be fine. They’re done attacking. You go on ahead and I’ll meet you.” 

Hidan grumbled in response. “You better not go after that boy alone. We’ll get him later. You hear me? Stay. Put. Or, change your crazy ass mind and come find me instead.” As he formed a hand sign and teleported, he bit her finger in goodbye. 

As soon as Hidan disappeared, Mira jumped up into a tall tree and climbed its branches to find a good vantage point to watch the Leaf. The three youngest, two of which she didn’t recognize, crowded around the dying man as the blonde girl performed medical ninjutsu on his wounds. It must not have worked since she started crying, which prompted the rest of them to cry. 

Mira leaned back on the branch, pressing her spine into the trunk of the tree. She didn’t like watching people suffer, but since she was part of what caused their pain, she felt that she owed it to them to watch. The injury in her back throbbed with each beat of her heart, a constant reminder of how close she had come to death herself. Dark clouds started rolling in and a cold rain fell around them. It pattered against the leaves on the trees and Mira could no longer hear what the Leaf were saying. She figured it was better that way - they could have some privacy in the man’s final moments. The droplets fell down her face and if she didn’t know any better, she would have thought she was crying too. 

A rumble of thunder accompanied the rainfall, and the mixture of blood and water on the ground pooled until it formed a mirrored surface. As each droplet kissed the flat plane and rippled out in waves, one could almost hear the cries of each soul Jashin had claimed that day, his body count increasing by one as Asuma’s ashes fell from his cigarette.

🔽🔻🔽


	10. The Ritual

🔽🔻🔽

Mira stayed by Hidan’s side for three entire days. He and Kakuzu were poised atop a rock in the woods, and for those three days, neither of them moved. In that time, Mira was able to go to a village a short distance away, purchase food, water, and other necessities and comforts, and return back to the boys. Most of that time, she did perimeter checks. They were still in Fire Country, so the chances of shinobi spotting them were relatively high. Still, it was a good time to apply medicinal cream not only to her own wound, but Hidan’s burns as well. And since his mind or spirit or whatever was busy, she could apply the cream to his body without protest. She had trouble reaching the injury on her back without summoning a sand clone, so she was _really_ glad that Hidan couldn’t watch her rub cream on another version of herself. 

At night when the temperature dipped and the crickets sang and the world quieted around them, Mira leaned against Hidan for warmth and struggled to stay awake. Oftentimes, she failed and floated in and out of consciousness for most of the night. With each passing day, the lack of sleep and constant surveillance took its toll on her body (these three-day jinchuriki binges were really getting annoying). When Hidan’s consciousness returned to his body at the end of the three days, Mira was fast asleep with her body pressed against him. In his time away, he knew she was doing something to his body since he could still feel it. The soothing chill of medicinal cream against his burns, the cover she used to block the rain, the warmth of her hands as she played with his own. The thrill of not knowing what she was going to do next made him itch to get back to her even faster. 

When Kakuzu came to, he grunted at seeing Mira’s sleeping form. Hidan had wrapped his arm around her shoulder and looked smugly satisfied. “I’m going to a safe house,” Kakuzu stated plainly. “We need to recoup and recover before taking on the Leaf again. They’ll have formed a plan now that they know your jutsu.” When Hidan nodded to let Kakuzu know he was listening, the man left the pair alone.

The moon was already ascending the skies when Hidan had woken, and as the minutes ticked past, it climbed higher and the stars sparkled, adding a luminescent glow to the world. The air tasted fresh like everything had been washed clean from the rains, and a chill in the air kept his senses fresh. He felt more alive than he had in a long time. As he gently rubbed his thumb against Mira’s shoulder and her breaths rose and fell in a steady rhythm, he imagined that immortality might not be so bad after all. 

While she slept, he had plenty of time to plan their next moves. With Kakuzu gone and ample time to themselves, there was one thing on his mind. The ritual. Mira’s first.

The first ritual was always the best. It was transformative for all of Jashin’s followers. After the first, you still got that high from the kill, but it never had the same illuminating effect as your first. He could feel his own excitement brimming beneath the surface in anticipation of the event, and it wasn’t even his own ritual. But since he could taste her every emotion, he imagined he’d get a piece of this as well. Amber eyes smoldering as an idea took hold, he planned the ritual in his head. All they had to do now was wait for Mira to wake up. 

When the moon reached its zenith, Mira finally opened her eyes. By that time, Hidan had pulled out her tanto and lay it in front of them. They weren’t going to have a lot of time to themselves with the Akatsuki’s plans coming to fruition and the Leaf’s inevitable revenge, so Hidan knew this may have been the only chance they had for her ritual. “Mira,” he whispered softly, craning his neck to search her face. “Time to wake up.” She shifted in his arms until she was sitting up straight. 

“Hidan?” she questioned, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Whassit? How long’ve yoo been awake?” She stifled a yawn and stretched her legs out in front of her, one leg tapping against the tanto on the grass as she did so. Blinking, she focused her eyes on the sword until it registered and a shiver ran down her spine. The moonlight seemed to make the blade glow in the darkness, and she immediately spun her head around to give Hidan an accusatory look. “What’s that for?” she intoned darkly. Hidan’s mild irritation crackled against her skin and she scooted away from him. “I mean it. What are you plotting?”

The man watched her scoot away and his mild irritation grew stronger. “ _Mira,_ ” he stated again, reaching for her wrist. “C’mon, you know it’s time. I’ll be here with you the entire time. You’ll be okay.” 

She pulled her wrist out of reach and sat across from him on the grass, huffing in dismay. The blades scratched at her bare thighs as she settled in. She sat still, her eyes switching between Hidan and the tanto between them. She didn’t trust that it would be okay. She didn’t trust that stabbing herself would make everything better. It went against all logic. It went against reason. The hairs on her arms rose and her body screamed at her to get the fuck out of there, but she couldn’t will herself to move. Not when Hidan was looking at her like _that_ , like she held all the answers in the palm of her hand, like she was the only thing that mattered in this world, like her actions would determine not just her fate, but his as well. It’s like he was the one screaming in her ear to make the decision and take her life into her own hands. But he just sat across from her, looking into her soul. She could feel him nestling there, making himself at home. In fact, it felt like a part of him had been there for a long time and she was only just now noticing his presence. 

She felt Hidan’s irritation prickle under her skin the longer they sat there. It was a steady sensation, and it started to tick her off. “I can’t think if you’re just gonna sit there stewing!” She crossed her legs and placed her palms on her knees, squinting at him in the soft light. Even though his jaw was clenched and his eyes wouldn’t leave her face, she could tell that beneath his irritation, he was anxious. His fingers twitched in his lap as he tried to show patience. For a moment, Mira wondered if this was it. The moment when Jashin chose to smite her and Hidan slit her throat and carried her soul to the underworld. _Could he even do that?_ she wondered mildly before shaking the idea from her head. She was being silly. Of course Hidan couldn’t do that.

Hidan stayed quiet and continued to stare at Mira. Without addressing her, he picked up the tanto and pressed the flat side of the blade against the plush mound of flesh at the base of his thumb, brushing it back and forth. Mira watched his movements and swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. Holding the tanto blade in one hand, Hidan held out the other for Mira to take. When she hesitantly complied, he gripped her hand tightly and flipped their hands so that his palm was facing up in hers. Her pulse quickened and his eyes burned across the short distance between them. Keeping his gaze on Mira, he flipped the knife in his right hand so that he held the hilt and slowly moved it until it hovered over their palms. “Do you trust me?”

Mira’s voice jammed in her throat so although she opened her mouth, no sound came out. A slow nod was all she managed.

“You have to say it,” Hidan spoke softly. “We won’t do anything unless I hear you say yes.”

The pounding of her agitated heart faded away and all Mira could see was Hidan, his pale skin like ivory in the soft light. The amber of his eyes flickered like embers in a long-burning fire waiting to ignite. Even if she didn’t trust the process, did she trust _him?_ Could she? It wasn’t something she had truly considered since she had been running on pure adrenaline and instinct for the past two months. And honestly… she had tried not to think about it. Therefore, when all of her instincts and desires led her back to Hidan when she wasn’t even making a conscious decision about it… didn’t that mean something? Or was that just Jashin pulling her strings like a puppeteer? She breathed deeply and let the cool night air fill her lungs, trying to make sense of it all.

Hidan waited as patiently as he could, trying to sit as still as possible so not to sway Mira’s decision either way. The slightest movement could jeopardize everything, and if she backed away from this, she would never go through with it. He had enough sense to know that much.

And if she didn’t complete the ritual tonight… he didn’t want to think about what came next. 

She could sense something deep within her stirring, something so far down that it teased her senses. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on the sensation. But just when she thought she could grasp it and pull it up from the root, it slipped through her fingers. That was when she felt tendrils of Hidan’s spirit touch her own, and she knew he was there to help her grasp at that elusive missing piece. 

Fixing her eyes on his, she finally sat resolute in her decision. “I trust you, Hidan.” _Only you._ “I’m ready.”

With a nod, he moved the knife. “Everything I do, I want you to mirror, okay? We’ll use the same knife but you can wipe it off before using it if you want.” His eyes still never left hers, and his body moved as though it knew exactly what to do. He didn’t even have to think about what came next. “Step one. Do you remember?”

Mira shoved her fear as far down as she could and breathed, “draw the ritual circle. It’s a triangle inside a circle.” 

“An upside down triangle, yes. The symbol of Jashin.” Hidan pressed the edge of the blade to his hand and made an incision on the mount of venus, not so deep that he couldn’t use his thumb, but enough so that he got a good amount of blood flow. “Now, do the same.” Passing her the knife, he watched as she pressed the blade into her own flesh. When she hesitated, he placed his uncut hand over hers and allowed his energy to flow into her, steady her. “Make it quick and it won’t hurt as bad.”

Moving as quickly as she could force her arm to move, she cut the same size wound into her hand and gasped at the sensation. It still hurt like a normal cut but there was a new sensation - some kind of spark that shot up her arm. Hidan took the knife from her hand and placed it in his lap. “Okay, now draw the circle.” He helped guide her hand so that she made the circle with the proper proportions, even using some of his own blood to expedite the process. “Good,” he soothed, still watching her closely. “Very good. Now, what’s the next part?” 

_Ingest the blood of your sacrifice._ Mira blinked and her face contorted with confusion. “H-Hidan? We didn’t think this through. I don’t have a sacrifice.” She watched Hidan’s face for answers, and when he smiled, a wicked yet gentle sort of thing, understanding rolled over her like a wave crashing onto shore. She came up for air and sputtered, “Y-you!” Embarrassment flushed across her face at how mouse-like she sounded in that moment. “But you’re already immortal! How can that work?” 

Hidan looked as nonchalant as ever as he shrugged in response. “A life is a life. You’ll still be killing me, much like you did before.” A flash of desire sparked in his eyes before he attempted to quash it. “A fact I won’t be soon to forget,” he sang, chuckling to himself. “It was sexy. _You_ were sexy.” He licked his lips slowly before getting a hold of himself. “So don’t worry about the finer details. I’ve already figured it out.” After a pause, he continued. “So when you’re ready, taste my blood.”

He said that like he was asking her to taste his coffee, not his blood. “I just have to… taste it?” Mira questioned, her face still burning. “Not drink it, right?” She could see the laughter in his eyes and was glad he didn’t actually laugh at her; it would have been more than she could bear. 

“Correct, just a taste. We’re not vampires,” he added cheekily. “It tastes better warm so you might want a fresh cut. Oh, I guess that does make me sound like a vampire!” He did laugh this time, but it was so quiet that Mira almost didn’t hear it. “Just choose a spot and cut me a little. Doesn’t matter where. You can even bite me if you’re feeling fresh.” Again, his eyes glittered at his own joke. 

Mira hesitated, unsure where to go for blood. His hand seemed the logical choice but she didn’t want to lick something when she didn’t know where it had been or what it could have touched… And his arm seemed awkward. A leg? Mulling over her options, she chewed on her bottom lip before an idea came to her. Before he could say no, and since technically he _did_ already give her permission… she leaned over towards him and drew her face level with his own. “Hidan,” she whispered, ghosting her lips over his. “Are you ready?” 

Gently, she pressed her lips to his and waited for him to protest with some shit about how she still wasn’t taking this seriously. But instead, she was surprised to find that he entangled his hand in her hair and moaned her name into her mouth. Before things got too carried away and they forgot the purpose of this activity, she bit down on his lip -- _hard_ , and the taste of his blood filled her mouth. The metallic tang was laced with something else, something invigorating that heightened her senses. Before she realized it, she was sucking on his lip to draw out more.

“Whoa there, take it easy,” Hidan murmured, separating them gently. He moved his hand to rest in the curve of her neck. “Maybe you _are_ a vampire.” Again, laughter rippled across his face.

Mira smacked his arm to silence his snickering. “Quit it!” Hidan settled but kept the smirk on his face. 

Taking a breath, Mira sat back and resumed her cross-legged position inside the ritual circle. While Hidan’s cut was healing, the one on her hand was still bleeding freely. The blood started dripping down her arm and she frowned when it hit her thigh. “Next part…” She resisted the urge to flinch as he held out the tanto for her to take. It took more strength than she’d ever admit for her to grasp the blade this time. 

Sensing her hesitation, Hidan scooted closer until he could wrap his arms around her if he needed. He could feel her hands shake as she turned the blade on herself and pressed it between her breasts. Very gently, he placed his hands over hers and guided the knife a bit farther to the right so that it wouldn’t nick a rib on the way in. His excitement filled the air around them, mixing with her own fear and trepidation. It wasn’t the best cocktail of emotions but it would have to do until she had some more experience. 

He made sure not to move the dagger any more, but he kept his hands on hers to keep her steady. The last thing he wanted was for her to suffer because she didn’t make it quick. Forceful. You had to have conviction when sacrificing yourself to the gods. 

Hidan felt Mira’s breath on his chest as she exhaled slowly, trying to calm her nerves. “Here,” he said softly, moving one hand to her neck and pressing his forehead against hers. “On three. You ready?” When she nodded, he started counting. 

“One.”

Sweat dripped down Mira’s back and she closed her eyes to ignore the itch.

“Two.”

She pressed her cheek against Hidan’s and gripped the knife tighter.

“Three.”

Everything went dark.

🔽🔻🔽

Mira jolted awake and scrambled to get up. She was still on the ground but this time instead of grass beneath her, there was rock, and her knees scraped as she frantically tried to get her bearings. Hidan was gone; in fact she couldn’t sense him at all. The area was dark and Mira couldn’t see but two feet in front of her. But there was something else present and she could feel it in the air. Every time she took a breath, she felt the presence even more, as though she was breathing it in. 

For a moment, she could have sworn it was doing the same with her. 

With each exhale, light billowed from her mouth like smoke and filled the space around her, slowly illuminating inch by inch the stone platform where she stood. Then the leaves rustled and took shape, then the blades of grass. Mira took one last deep breath and accepted her place in this forest; instead of fear, she felt a sense of calmness and serenity. 

As she stood on the stone unsure about what to do next, water started pooling on the ground. She watched the water slowly rise and sumberge each blade of grass one by one, then take over the bases of nearby trees. An invisible current pulled the water in a counterclockwise direction and she watched as her reflection swirled and shifted on its surface. Finally, once the trickling of the water ceased and the current stopped flowing, Mira stared at a flawless black mirror. She got down on her hands and knees and peered into its depths, trying to see if there was anything beneath the surface, but once that proved futile, she focused on her own reflection.

A skeleton looked back at her. With a startled cry, she fell backwards on her rump and her breath hitched in disbelief. Slowly, veeeery slowly, she collected herself and leaned back over the edge of the water to check once more that she wasn’t seeing things. 

Magenta irises met her own, and it felt like she was looking at an alternate version of herself, one she didn’t recognize. The figure looked familiar since it copied Hidan’s skeletal pattern when he completed his rituals. However, the colors were all wrong and the lines weren’t exact. Hidan’s ritual form was black with white bones painted across his skin. Mira’s form and body was, by contrast, pure white with black markings on her face and body, and wherever there was a line to mark a bone, it rounded off instead of ending in jagged, harsh points. 

The two Miras studied each other, unblinking, when finally they reached out to touch the other’s face. As Mira’s fingertips made contact, the black mirror shattered into a million shards of glass and she started falling headfirst into them. While Mira expected to tumble at best a few feet, she found herself engulfed in pitch darkness, falling endlessly, the rush of wind from the fall caressing her and abating the fears threatening to rise inside her. 

It was at that precise moment, when she no longer felt a shred of uncertainty or anxiety, that a voice spoke to her. Even though she had never heard this voice before, the sound resonated within her body and she felt her soul vibrate on its wavelength.

_Welcome, my child._

Mira’s eyes widened as the sound reverberated in her chest, as though she was the one speaking. But her voice lay quiet.

 _You have finally come of your own free will, so you are ready to accept your gift._ The voice paused for a moment and Mira got the feeling this god was pleased with himself. _All of my children have gifts. While your counterpart has the gift of Vengeance, you have the gift of Mercy. He is the sword that lays judgement for one’s sins; you are the lantern whose light fills souls with forgiveness and aids their transition. He is meant to cause pain; you are meant to heal it._

When Mira thought to question _why_ , why on earth did this god require them to complete these tasks, this heavy, arduous, draining work of reaping souls, a soft warmth spread throughout her entire body and she felt perfectly balanced.

🔽🔻🔽

Hidan sat perfectly still. He sat perfectly still for _thirty minutes_. The entire world around him seemed alight with wonder and magic and… life. Fireflies floated lazily through the air, signaling secret messages to one another. The leaves danced on the breeze as a storm brewed in the distance. The wind whispered to him, igniting the fears he fought to keep buried.

She hadn’t moved. Thirty minutes had passed and she didn’t move a muscle. Once she had completed the ritual and they both went under, he awoke after about a minute and dusted himself off. Eagerly, he waited, tapping his fingers erratically, pulling up handfuls of grass, and constantly brushing his hair back out of his eyes. After a few minutes without any movement, worry crept into his heart. Did Jashin take her? … _keep_ her? A chill settled into his bones as the understanding that she may not come back… started to be realized. 

Gingerly, like she would break if he weren’t careful, Hidan pressed Mira’s body into his own and wrapped his arms around her. He rest his head on her shoulder and took long, deep breaths, trying to calm his frantic heartbeat. As the minutes passed, he felt her skin grow cool as her core body temperature dropped, and he pressed her tighter to his chest, unwilling to accept it.

They were still for so long that when he felt her heart beat against his own, he thought it was an echo. When he felt her chest expand as air filled her lungs, he thought it was a trick of the mind. When he felt her hand on his back, he thought it was her ghost trying to ease his sorrow.

But then he was being kissed. It was a simple sensation, one he was used to by now, and once the initial shock passed, he noticed the warmth, a warmth that told him he wasn’t just imagining things. Frantically, he cupped Mira’s face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers so fiercely that she actually laughed. “Hidan,” she laughed lightly, the sound melodic in the breeze. “What’s gotten into you?”

Hidan looked at her then, taking in the glow on her skin and the fire in her eyes and the thrum of her energy, stronger than ever before. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered. “Truly.” The rest of what he could say, he left to her to figure out. His hands freely roamed her skin, investigating every square inch he hadn’t the time to explore before. Everywhere he touched, her energy sparked and ignited, fusing with his own. He trailed kisses across every vein in her body and proved to her all the things he didn’t know how to say.

🔽🔻🔽


	11. Festival of Lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in posting <3 I changed my mind about what I wanted to include in this chapter so I had to mull things over and make changes! **SMUT WARNING! Short smut in this chapter! (If you're looking for more, don't worry -- I fully intend to make the final chapter, or separate one-shots, nothing but smut muahahaha.) Happy reading <3

🔽🔻🔽

As the sun threatened to rise, Mira groaned and threw Hidan’s arm over her eyes. The man didn’t stir, but considering he hadn’t slept for three days, _died_ , then came back to life only to fuck her senseless, she didn’t blame him. 

She stretched her muscles and felt tension pull in her lower back, annoying but unsurprising. And her stomach rumbled loudly, so loudly that Hidan actually stirred next to her. “Mmmmmmf,” she heard him mumble. “Hungry. Staaarving.” His eyes remained closed but he lazily draped his arm across her waist and pulled Mira closer, nuzzling his face in her neck. He hadn’t the time to shave lately so stubble rubbed against her skin, causing a shiver to run down her spine. “Hidaaaan,” she moaned, trying to wiggle away from him. “C’mon, I wanna find an inn and shower and eat and-and- I can’t think when you do that!”

His grip tightened in response and he mumbled something incoherent against her skin, but she felt him place soft kisses across her neck and had the feeling he had other plans. “You’re impossible,” she groaned finally, unable to hide the smile on her face. Even though she didn’t want to admit it, it felt nice to be wanted. 

“Impossibly _handsome_ , you mean,” Hidan grinned, “Devilishly charming, rugged, cock of steel! Speaking of which…” 

When Mira smacked him, he whined that she was no fun.

🔽🔻🔽

A few hours later, showered and clean and enjoying the moment, the pair sat in an all-you-can-eat- barbecue when Kakuzu entered the building. “Kakuzu!” Hidan cried, waving his chopsticks in the air. “C’mere! Get some food!” He and Mira had only been there for twenty minutes but they had already put back three plates, something Hidan proudly attributed their appetites to all of the great Jashin worship they had completed last night _and_ this morning. Mira had to keep scolding him to be quieter since they were still wanted by Leaf shinobi and public declarations would bring nothing but headache, but Hidan seemed more at ease that day than he ever had before. Something inside Mira twinged at the idea it was because of her, or rather, the fact that Jashin had “accepted” her or whatever Hidan kept going on and on about. It was a miracle that Kakuzu approached and took the focus off of her for a moment. 

“Kakuzu,” Hidan stated again as the man approached. “You won’t believe what Jashin has blessed us with now!” Bumping shoulders with Mira, he tossed back another chunk of meat before continuing. “She’s immortal now! Gotta be! Completed everything last night! Praise Jashin!” 

_Or not._

Hidan’s partner seemed wholey unimpressed and stood beside their table with his arms crossed. “We need to keep moving. We still have to make it to Konoha and now they have ninja after us. Meet me outside.” Eying the pair with a hint of suspicion, he walked right back out the door he had entered. 

“Maaaan,” Hidan cursed, holding the plate up to his mouth to shovel the rest of the meat into his mouth. “Alwaysinarushthatguy,” he garbled, scraping his chair across the floor as he stood. “Wegottago,” he swallowed. He hustled to the door to follow his partner. Mira barely had time to throw some coins on the table before both men had left the establishment. 

Once outside, Mira stuffed her side order of vegetables into her hip bag before jogging to catch up with the boys. Hidan had returned to the subject of Jashin and was regaling Kakuzu with how awesome the god was and how much more of an asset Mira was in battle now that she had been blessed by Jashin. Kakuzu was only mildly interested, but for him, that was an improvement. “You’re immortal now?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow at the kunoichi. 

“I don’t know,” Mira huffed, shoving her elbow into Hidan’s side, much to the man’s dismay. “ _This guy_ seems to think so but I don’t feel much different. Besides, there’s no guarantee anything’s changed without testing it, and I don’t really feel like being impaled--”

She had to dodge an incoming spear jab as Hidan aimed a blow to her torso. “ _Hidan,_ she intoned darkly, a dangerous look marring her features. “Try that again and risk decapitation of your _other_ head.” 

“I’m not sewing that back on.” Kakuzu coughed as though he were uncomfortable by the idea and scratched at his jawline.

“You would never!” Hidan balked, throwing a hand to his chest in surprise at the mere suggestion. “I’ll have you know that’s one of my best features, something you would think you’d agree with now that you’ve--” Mira caught the man in a chokehold and he laughed amiably, twisting at her arm to try and start a wrestling match with her. He loved to power-play.

When an annoyed Kakuzu threw a hardened punch at them _this_ time, neither of them were able to dodge fast enough. There was a definite _crack_ as the bones in their arms and chests snapped and the couple slammed into the ground on top of one another. Kakuzu, nonplussed, fixed his robe so it lay straight and kept walking down the dirt path.

Mira wheezed loudly, the heat on her collarbone painfully sharp and the sting in her arm causing her to hiss. “Hi- _dan_ ,” she seethed, eyeing the man crumpled beneath her. “This is all _your fault!_ ”

“Me!” the man cried, trying to wiggle out from under Mira’s weight. “You’re the one denying Jashin’s blessings! It’s karmic, bitch! Why do you think Kakuzu was finally able to hit you, huh?” Wincing from his own injuries, he pulled himself to a sitting position next to Mira and clicked his tongue at their sorry state. “We’re gonna have to set our bones if they’re gonna heal quickly. C’mon, scoot over here.” A trail of blood leaked from his lips and he hastily wiped it with his robe sleeve.

Snapping her head around to look at Hidan, Mira’s eyes burned crimson. “We have to _what?_ ” Hidan rolled his eyes as though this was the most basic concept. “It’s not that bad. It’ll hurt longer if you don’t let me set the breaks. You got the brunt of the force so you have more than me. Jashin’s a brutal bitch like that. Quit being so blasphemous and you won’t get hurt as much!” Quickly, he reached over and man-handled her broken forearm and collarbone back into place, swallowing her scream with his mouth against hers. Once he had finished, he saw the tears welling in her eyes and forced a smile. “Me next, babe. Be gentle?”

Instead of screaming, Hidan’s curses filled the air as Mira set his breaks. He then pulled her up from the ground and the pair helped each other briskly walk to catch up with their abuser. “See? You took that like a champ,” Hidan said quietly as they walked a few paces behind Kakuzu. “Obviously you’re already healing.”

Mira scoffed, disbelief coating her tongue as she almost swallowed it in subdued anger and frustration. “ _Healing?_ My collarbone is fucking _cracked_ and you think it’s just gonna heal on its own?” Hidan muttered something about Mira somehow still being a nonbeliever when she had no reason to be anymore, and that maybe it was just a reflex so that she could remain in a state of denial and shun _him_ too.

Mira pretended not to hear and brooded to herself, keeping her distance from both of the men, extremely annoyed at both of them. But over time as they traveled, she got bored of being angry and started pointing out the landscape again. No one seemed to be listening to her. 

Mira watched Hidan out of the corner of her eye to see if he was bothered by his bone breaks and just playing tough or if he genuinely seemed fine. He walked calmly and even stretched his arms over his head with a yawn, much to Mira’s annoyance. How was he fine when she was still in pain?

Buildings cropped up in the distance and as they walked, the scene became clearer. A small town covered in banners and flowers of a myriad of colors made the area seem brighter, and residents busily tuttered to and fro with various carnations, wreaths, and alcoholic drinks. One person in particular held a barrel of what looked suspiciously like honey whiskey… While the boys seemed set on passing by without a moment’s glance, Mira couldn’t help but slow her steps and look down the street in awe. She could feel her excitement brimming juuuust beneath the surface and an idea took hold. 

“Hidaaaan!” she cried, bouncing over to the man. “Hidan! Look! It must be a festival! They’ve got alcohol and might have dancing later tonight! And look, food venders!” Mira was already tugging the Akatsuki back towards the town’s entrance when she looked over her shoulder and caught Kakuzu’s eye. “They’ve also got a wicked gambling tavern down the road.” 

She led the skeptics to the edge of town and continued talking. “There’ll be plenty of drunk people whose money you can take, Kakuzu! And Hidan, aren’t you always talking about being stuck with Kakuzu or inside the base? This is an opportunity for some space! To see other people! Spread the great word of Jashin!”

Kakuzu’s faze was frozen with a look Mira couldn’t place, but Hidan threw his arm across Mira’s shoulder and loudly proclaimed that they were going to paint the town red during its festivities and anyone who refused Jashin’s blessings would meet their justified end. Of those who noticed the man’s outburst, few took him seriously. Just another strange tourist visiting for the annual Festival of Lights.

🔽🔻🔽

It didn’t take long for Mira and Hidan to leave Kakuzu alone by the fountain in the center of town to find clothing suitable for the upcoming festivities. Kakuzu, not being one for a show, disapproved of the idea but didn’t try to stop them from wasting everyone’s time. Once Mira and Hidan had purchased their desired items from a small shop, they snuck around to an alleyway to undress and inspect their wounds. Luckily everyone was so busy preparing for the night’s events that no one paid the couple any mind as they slipped into the shadows. As Mira lifted her shirt, she could feel her body scream in protest and drew in a sharp breath. Dark bruising purpled her ribs and trailed up her sternum and across the length of her collar bone like vines. When Hidan removed his robes and revealed his chiseled abdomen without even so much as a scratch, Mira clenched her jaw and smacked his hand away when he tried to help her bandage her wounds for support. Somehow he had miraculously healed and she still suffered. What more did Jashin want from her? A prayer before bed every night?

Muttering insults to Jashin under her breath, she avoided Hidan’s eyes as she struggled to wrap her wounds tightly enough. He didn’t try to help her this time and simply watched. A light breeze tickled her skin as she finished the job and slipped on her lavender robe. Hidan tied the violet sash around her waist as she combed her fingers through her hair and rebraided it. “There,” Mira muttered, licking her fingers to glue a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Now we can join the party!” 

Dusk fell quickly and the pair joined the throng of people milling about the streets. Venders had finished setting up their tents and were calling out to passerby to try their exotic alligator on a stick or ring toss game for a prize ticket. Mira’s breath caught as she tugged at Hidan’s arm to look at Every. Single. Stall. While Mira expected Hidan to protest and elbow through the crowd to get to the whiskey they spotted down the street, he good-naturedly allowed himself to be pulled in every which direction at her whim. Soon his arms were filled with samples from every food stall and Mira happily plucked one from his arm every few minutes to munch on the delicacies. She always held the stick up to Hidan’s mouth so he could pull off the last bite of fried donut or sticky sweet barbeque and swallow it whole. 

By the time they reached the whiskey vendor, the golden string-lights criss-crossing over their heads had clicked on and cast a warm glow on everything touched. Mira hadn’t been able to talk Hidan out of a neutral-colored yukata for the evening, but at least it wasn’t the usual black and red clothing she saw him in. Rather, he chose a charcoal gray with golden threads streaking throughout the fabric. The threads weren’t vibrant enough to be noticed on their own but they were just enough to be seen shimmering in the low light when he moved a certain way. Every time he brushed a stray lock of hair from his face, Mira caught a glimpse of his wrist and had to resist the urge to bite at it. She was eternally grateful that she had convinced him to wear his hair in a loose ponytail instead of slicked back, if only for those small moments.

“Tch,” Hidan clicked, flicking his hair out of his eyes again. “You owe me for wearing this shit. I’m not kidding! BARKEEP! Four more over here! Keep ‘em coming!” Every time they downed a drink, he ordered them not just one more, but two. Due to the festival, there was a special on drinks and he intended to make the most of it. As soon as the drinks hit the table, he downed another shot and slammed the empty glass back on the table. “Damn, that shit burns! Woo!” 

Mira tapped her full glass with her fingertips and scanned the crowd. People had begun lighting small bonfires in every corner of the town, and she noticed a trail leading down a firelit path. “Let’s go over there,” she said, gesturing to the location with her chin. “I wanna see what they’re preparing for.”

Hidan clinked his glass against hers and encouraged her to take another shot with him. “Sure, whatever. We got all the time in the world.” A rosy tint filled his cheeks and he smiled loosely at her, his body leaning heavily over the table. “Ya wanna go now?” He planted two fingers on her chin and toyed with her jawline before smacking his lips together. “I’m sure we can find a nice spot to cozy up real quick before this shit actually starts.”

Mira caught one of Hidan’s fingertips between her lips and flicked her tongue out against it. Salty. Hidan’s eyes burned lowly, mimicking the fires around them. Without another word, he stood and knocked his chair backwards onto the floor, ignoring the startled cries of the table behind them. He thrust the last two shots into Mira’s chest and sloshed the sweet liquid onto her wrist and chest before taking the lead and tugging _her_ through the crowd. He led her to the outskirts of the festival and nestled them behind a batch of flowering bushes. He found the only tree in the vicinity that allowed them cover from prying eyes and eagerly dug his hands into Mira’s hips and traced hot, open-mouthed kisses down her neck. Mira, however, was a bit dazed from the alcohol and while his hand slipped to her backside to clutch the tie keeping her robe together, she found herself peering over his shoulder and through the treeline to the light rippling in the distance. 

The image puzzled her since it wasn’t like the firelight flickering and crackling, but it broke apart like a puzzle unable to put itself together. Hidan could sense Mira’s attentions elsewhere and he nipped her skin impatiently. “Miraaaa,” he groaned, sliding his hand into her hair. “Come back to me.” 

She breathed deeply and Hidan’s scent was even more intoxicating than the alcohol. That was all it took for her to forget about the strange light and focus on Hidan’s body against hers. She spread her hands across his shoulders and parted his yukata with ease before wrenching his face to hers and catching his bottom lip between hers, sucking vigorously. His body quivered at her touch but he managed to lift her leg and dig his hips into her own, allowing his length to press against her clothed sex. He slid his hand up her creamy thigh and moved her robe out of his way. Now there was only one small piece of clothing between him and the desired spot, and he smirked into her mouth as he rubbed his fingers across the fabric covering her sweet spot, eliciting a breathy moan from the woman. He greedily swallowed the sound and began rubbing his fingers up and down the length of Mira’s panties, his hunger growing stronger as she began to moisten the garment and coat his fingers. 

He brushed the fabric aside to dip a fingertip into her folds and she bit his lip in response. Chuckling, he released her mouth and shifted so that his breath tickled her ear. “Careful, now. Get me too riled up and I won’t care if the entire village knows we’re here.” He thrust the full length of his finger inside her then and curled it in to hit a specific spot. He felt Mira tense against him as she held in her moan that time. Moving his hand to grasp her hip, he used his other to place his exposed length at her entrance. “Ready?” he breathed. He felt Mira nod against his neck and a small but eager _yes_ graced his ears. 

Then he was fully inside her, moving in a hard, slow rhythm that made them both break out into a sweat. Mira clawed at Hidan’s shoulders as he moved, trying to maintain balance. He pressed his palm harder into her hip and continued a steady thrust with his hips, forceful enough that she wasn’t going anywhere but not too much so as to harm her mending bones. 

Thankfully Mira had enough alcohol to where her pain was muddled in the background and not nearly as consuming as their lust. What Mira had learned not even minutes after reawakening from her ritual was that Hidan was even more debaucherous than she had ever imagined, and since then he took every chance he could get to prove to her just how much he craved her, body and soul. Mira liked to pretend his continued attention was all too much, but the deepest parts of her reveled in every glance, every touch, every sensation. She was as drunk off of him as he was of her. 

Neither of them would have it any other way.

Drum beats sounded around them and rather than stop, Hidan pumped faster, as though he had an audience now cheering for his victory. Mira bucked her hips against his until his movements became erratic, and she could feel his muscles tensing. Although she wasn’t close, she knew this had to be a quickie before someone stumbled upon their hideaway. Besides, Hidan would pleasure her plenty later without her even asking. Leaning forwards slightly, she licked up Hidan’s neck before biting him roughly and digging her nails into his shoulders to send him over the edge. With a shudder, Hidan slammed his hips into Mira’s one final time and filled her with his hot seed. Panting, he pressed his forehead against Mira’s cheek and loosened his grip on her hips. Neither of them spoke but Mira smiled softly and began adjusting their clothes.

After a long moment of rest, she led Hidan out of their seclusion and towards the rippling light. The drum beats got louder as they entered an open area facing a blackened pond with small bonfires lining the water. The firelight reflected off of the pond in waves that twisted and teased onlookers into finding visions within their depths. Beside the fires, paper lanterns lay on the sand and people were gathering towards them. Hidan shuffled behind Mira as she chose the closest empty lantern and kneeled before it. All around them, families and couples used the fires to light the lanterns. Each one said a prayer or a wish before raising the lantern to the sky and allowing the wind to carry it away. The myriad of lanterns filled the skies like stars, some flickering as their owners’ desires were willed into existence. 

“Hidan” Mira breathed, looking back at the man over her shoulder. Her eyes glistened and her hair glowed violet from the light surrounding them. “Come here.” She took his hand once he kneeled beside her and guided it to a lantern. “Look, everyone’s making wishes.” Breathless from the feeling welling in her chest, she looked at Hidan expectantly. “Their most precious desires, Hidan!” 

He blinked, not quite following what the hell was coming over her. “Right,” he murmured, brushing his thumb against the metal ring at the bottom of the lantern. It was welcomingly cool to the touch. “Wishes.” He didn’t want to tell her that wishes were for babies and nonbelievers since she seemed so sincere about it. 

Pursing her lips, Mira gestured to the lanterns people were still raising in the air. “Yes, wishes. Hidan, don’t you get it? A wish comes from the soul. All of these lanterns - they’re souls. A soul’s wish.” She surveyed the area and saw couples embracing, families laughing, and children bowing their heads in prayer. “It’s their belief that makes the wish real. Just like how you believe in Jashin. You’re unwavering. You never doubt. That’s how your blessings come true and from where you draw your strength.” She paused at a harsh pang in her chest and the breath left her lungs. For two seconds she couldn’t will her lungs to move and her vision flashed red, but as quickly as it came, the sensation passed and she was breathing normally again. “I have to make a wish,” she whispered, lifting the lantern to peer at the filament. 

Hidan stayed still beside her, watching Mira curiously. This was a strange conversation to have all of a sudden, but any time she willingly brought up Jashin, he knew to pay attention. He watched as Mira gingerly lifted a small flame from the fire and raised it to the lantern. She hadn’t touched a stick to hold the fire and instead held the flame in her palm like a rose. Hidan’s amber eyes widened since he knew she wasn’t fire nature, and she seemed to move on instinct. He dare not interrupt whatever the fuck was going on. 

Raising the flame to the base of the lantern, Mira held it close and closed her eyes. “I wish to believe,” she breathed, and as her breath swept across the flame, it transferred from her fingers to the lantern. Lifting her hand higher, she pressed the lantern up into the air and the object easily glided from her palm onto the breeze. It traveled higher and higher until all they could see was its reflection in the pool growing smaller. Just when it was about to disappear, it flickered brightly and the bonfire beside them suddenly extinguished, eliciting gasps and exclamations from the few festival-goers remaining. 

Mira slowly held her arm out before her and rolled her sleeve up, revealing the bandages covering her forearm fracture. Carefully, she unravelled the material and left a pile at her feet. Beneath the bandage was smooth skin the color of golden sands; not a bruise in sight. She clenched and unclenched her fist to test her strength and found herself completely healed.

Hidan finally reached out to her then and pulled Mira onto his lap, looking up at the disappearing flickers of light with new eyes.

🔽🔻🔽


	12. A Change of Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the departure from canonical events -really- starts! If the story progresses as planned, we may extend beyond my initial 15 chapter plan, but hopefully not much beyond that... ENJOY! <3 Comments welcome.

🔽🔻🔽

Somehow they had avoided Kakuzu the entire night but their luck was bound to run out soon. They just didn’t know how soon. 

Mira was in the middle of shampooing her hair when she heard Kakuzu’s boots on the floor. “How the fuck--” she cursed, and the sound was shadowed by Hidan’s own voice. “Never a moment of peace with that man around,” he murmured around the razor held to his face. His eyes shifted from his own reflection to that of the man now standing in the bathroom doorway. The water was cold on his face as he wiped off stray bits of shaving cream. “Kakuzu! Didja bring us breakfast?” 

Clearly, the man had not.

He stood with his arms crossed in front of his broad chest with a look of extreme boredom and annoyance on his face. “Can you two hurry up so we can leave this godforsaken town?”

Hidan’s face twitched and he glanced at Mira through the fogged glass door. “Guess our time’s up.” He bumped shoulders with Kakuzu as he led the man towards the kitchen to raid the motel’s pantry. Their voices echoed down the hall since neither of them bothered to close the bathroom door.

Turning off the shower, Mira breathed in the thick steam and stood still for a moment. The drain gargled at her feet and she stared at the water circling the drain. After a few seconds, it disappeared and her feet cooled from the lack of warmth. She stood in the shower and listened the boys bicker down the hall and her mouth curved into a small smile. This was her life now, surrounded by two idiotic men. Well, one idiotic man that she happened to adore more than she’d ever admit. He _was_ a little crazy after all. Who knew what he would do if she openly admitted her feelings. Probably commit suicide in the name of Jashin or something.

The idea actually made her _giggle_. “God, what’s happened to me?” She slid the towel off the bar and wrapped it tightly around herself, using another for her hair. Standing in front of the mirror, she wiped the condensation off its surface and peered at her spotted reflection. She looked different somehow, in a way she couldn’t place. Maybe Hidan could tell her what it was, but she didn’t want to ask him in fear of the answer. It probably had something to do with Jashin.

Blinking, she pressed her fingertips to her reflection and smeared its surface. Only then did she notice something else over her shoulder. “Hidan?” she breathed, but the warmth she felt in her chest when he was around was absent. It wasn’t him. Her eyes narrowed as she turned to look at the figure behind her, and it was the last thing she saw before everything went dark.

🔽🔻🔽

Hidan had an egg-spattered spatula in his hand when he felt that something was wrong. Ignoring Kakuzu’s complaints, he drifted down the hallway to the bathroom and already knew what he’d find. Mira wasn’t there. The window from the bedroom was open and he couldn’t feel Mira anymore, which was odd since he could _always_ feel her, no matter the distance. 

The window frame creaked as he jumped off it and onto the neighboring rooftop. In the distance, he spotted three Leaf shinobi carting off his woman in nothing but a fucking _bath towel_ , and the vein in his neck pulsed violently. _”Kakuzu,”_ he growled lowly, knowing the man would be right behind him. “We’ve got a hunt to finish.”

Tiles broke beneath his feet as he tore across the town’s rooftops, and people shrieked all around him. Apparently shinobi affairs were foreign to this town, but neither Akatsuki cared. Neither did the Leaf. Adrenaline pushed Hidan forward and he slowly closed the distance between himself and the Leaf, the sight of Mira completely knocked out and tossed over someone’s shoulder like a rag doll only increasing his agitation. How the _fuck_ did she let herself get taken down so easily? How did Jashin?

It was a fucking disgrace to everything he believed in. And it was something he planned to fix _immediately_.

Kakuzu stepped swiftly behind Hidan but didn’t seem too bothered by the turn of events. If Hidan didn’t know better, he would have thought that Kakuzu _wanted_ Mira to be kidnapped… His eyebrow twitched but he threw the idea to the wind. There wasn’t time to speculate, only act.

But despite his efforts, the shinobi disappeared right before his eyes. He hadn’t even had time to swipe his scythe at them; they just… vanished. 

Jashin was going to be piiiiissed when Hidan checked in about this.

🔽🔻🔽

It was dark and there was grime under her nails. Grit in her mouth. A ringing in her ears. If she didn’t know better, Mira would have thought that this was the morning all over again and she was fighting her hangover and it was Hidan’s knee in her back and not a metal bar. But all of those things weren’t true, and even though she didn’t know where she was, she knew it wasn’t in bed and she knew it wasn’t with Hidan. 

When she finally forced her eyes open, she was in a dimly lit cell in Konoha’s prison. A grated gate greeted her to the front, and all other sides were large cement block walls. Not a window in sight. Her chest expanded as she took a deep, cleansing breath. The scent of sweat and body odor made her nose twitch but she blocked it out as best she could and tried to concentrate on her breathing. While she hadn’t participated in Hidan’s meditations, she had watched him enough to know the basics. Now she just needed to try and communicate with him, or she supposed with Jashin, to figure out what the fuck was going on. 

He’d answer her prayers, right? Now that she was a believer and all?

Even that sounded fake to her ears and it only made her nervous.

Before she could truly settle and relax her body, a door clicked open and the sound carried to her cell from down the hall. Mira took another breath, but she knew it was futile. If someone was coming to see her, she wouldn’t be able to concentrate. She needed to gather information about her whereabouts and more importantly, why she was there in the first place. But she didn’t have to let them know she was interested.

Two shadows appeared at the gate and one squatted to be eye level with her. Mira pretended not to notice as they stared, but the silence grated on her nerves. What did they want? Why the hell did they take her and not one of the men?

A zippo lighter flicked open and the flame cast a glow on the boy’s face. Shadow boy. He was crouched so close to the ground that he looked welded to the spot. The man standing above him was older, with a Leaf headband covering one eye. He seemed aloof with relaxed shoulders while the boy looked perturbed. Clearly one was better at hiding his emotions than the other. 

“What’s your name?” the man asked, his one eye crinkling in a smile. A mask covered the lower half of his face and Mira couldn’t help the snort that blew past her lips. “What’s yours?” she asked, trying to sound civil. Shadow boy simply flicked the lighter open and shut again and again, and the clink of metal started to make her eye twitch. 

“Hatake, Kakashi,” the man replied, his hands in his flak jacket pockets. “I believe you’re from the sand, right?” He watched to see if the woman gave anything away but she sat still as a statue. “We spoke with the Kazekage once you were spotted with the Akatsuki a few days ago. In fact, we asked all the Kages if they knew who you were, since you clearly weren’t from Konoha.” He pulled a picture from his pocket and tossed it through the cell bars towards her. 

Once it slapped to the ground, Mira tore her gaze from shadow boy to the image. In it, she and Hidan were bickering about something, but his eyes were filled with mirth. She could see the start of a smile on his lips. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of Hidan, and she prayed neither Leaf could notice something so small. 

The man continued. “Apparently you were highly regarded in Suna before your defection. Your entire squad was wiped out on a mission. They thought you had perished too, although your body was never found.” He tossed another image into the cell and it fell on top of the first. The man had impeccable aim. In the second photo, bodies of fallen Suna shinobi littered the ground, each one stabbed through the heart and resting in a pool of their own blood, eyes glossy and vacant. Some had other parts bloody and broken as well. Mira knew the bodies’ positions well but it made her stomach churn to see her former comrades victims of Hidan’s jutsu. No, not victims, she told herself. Offerings?

She couldn’t help but shake her head to clear her thoughts and returned her gaze to shadow boy. He was watching her closely, as though her very existence would tell him how to kill Hidan. She was surprised he didn’t try to kill her himself, but the Leaf needed information, and she was their best ticket to success. Supposedly. She pushed the photos back towards the grate but Kakashi waved his hand to stop her.

“Keep them,” he commanded, this time without a hint of kindness. His entire demeanor shifted as he leaned closer to the bars, his face almost touching the coarse metal. The hair on his arms stood on end, and if he didn’t have a mask on, Mira would have noticed bared teeth. She got the impression that he was a sleeping bear waiting to be poked.

And she had poked him without even trying.

“People who betray their comrades are scum. Less than scum,” he breathed, somehow making that simple act violent. His eye had hardened intensely, and malevolence rolled off him in thick waves. Shadow boy stopped flicking his lighter but didn’t take his eyes off Mira. It was enough to make her skin crawl. Kakashi straightened his spine and absorbed all of his malice like the flick of a switch. “We’ll be in touch,” he stated simply before turning on his heel and shuffling down the hall. Shadow boy remained for just a moment before sighing and straightening up as well. He turned to leave but cast one last look into Mira’s cell, not to look at her, but to look at the photos on the ground. When Mira looked up from the images, he was gone, and she was alone once more.

 _Well, fuck._ She hadn’t learned a damned thing except that shadow boy was still a prick, this new Hatake fellow had baggage, and she was shit out of luck. “I could use a little help here!” she screeched, tilting her head back to glare at the ceiling. If Jashin was truly omnipotent, he would have assessed her situation and sent Hidan to the rescue, right?

Rubbing her arms, Mira sucked in a breath. It was colder down here than she had let herself believe, and she knew that would present a problem for her warm-blooded self. It was like these cells were made for Suna prisoners. Sunlight gave her strength, wind gave her confidence, and Hidan gave her… well, a lot of things. And there was none of those things here. 

Holding the image of her and Hidan, Mira traced the pad of her index finger down his figure. They were in their fancy clothes at the festival, which meant that the Leaf had surveillance on them the entire time.

_Fuck._

🔽🔻🔽

Hidan paced in a neat line, his path well-worn on the grass by now. Stray pieces that had broken from the ground stuck to his shoes, but he paid them no mind. “I’m telling you, we need to just rush in there, kill everyone, and get her back!” 

Kakuzu grunted, a certain gruffness coating the sound. “We’re to wait for backup. Itachi and Kisame are already on their way.” 

Hidan threw his hands in the air and continued his step. “No, that’s the dumbest thing to do. We have to _save her!_ Who knows what they’re doing to her right now!” His fists clenched until his knuckles turned white. “It’s already been an twenty-seven hours since she was taken. We need to act now. Waiting doesn’t accomplish shit.”

“No, our mission is for the jinchuriki. Pain decided we’re to invade Konoha for the jinchuriki, not Mira. Let her go.”

“Let her go?” Hidan hissed, throwing a look Kakuzu’s way that would level any normal person to the ground. But his partner wasn’t normal. “I will _never_ leave her.” The ground cracked beneath his feet as he stomped towards Kakuzu. “The damned jinchuriki doesn’t mean a thing if she’s not here with me. I don’t care about the _mission_.” He ran a hand through his hair and destroyed his slick back, looking more maniacal than usual. “ _She_ is my mission. I’m going to get her.”

When Hidan turned his body towards Konoha, Kakuzu slammed him into the ground. He kept his body distant and pulled him with detached limbs until Hidan was bound to the trunk of a tree by the strings holding his own body together. “No,” Kakuzu spat, tightening the cords around Hidan’s throat. “You are _not_ jeopardizing this mission. She isn’t worth it. She’s not even an Akatsuki member. You’ve had your fun now move on before you get us both killed.” 

Hidan writhed against his binds and hissed like an animal trapped in a cage. “ _Goddammit,_ Kakuzu, you stubborn piece of shit! This isn’t just a fun little fling! Do you think I _like_ toting her around all the time? She’s a fucking menace! Always telling me that I’m reckless and uncouth, but I don’t even know what the fuck that means. And she never stops pulling my arm to look at some dumbass rock or bird or whatever the fuck is around because she can’t handle silence. Do you know I’ve got _arm burn_ from her twisting me around so much? And another thing, she’s got ADD or some shit because she can’t function like a normal person!” His chest heaved and he couldn’t get adequate air while tied up. It made him a little dizzy and he pawed at his restraints weaker than before.

Kakuzu wheezed. Literally wheezed. It made Hidan’s muscles freeze as he watched his partner twitch like his body was breaking down or he was _dying._ “You--” he choked, clutching at his stomach with stumps for arms. “You’re the most deranged person--” His eyes watered and he fell onto his ass. “--in the world.” After taking a moment to collect himself, he rolled his shoulders back and looked stoic again. Like nothing had just happened. The only thing that gave it away was the fact that his ass was on the ground in an awkward position Hidan had never seen. Calmly, Kakuzu continued. “She’s annoying. No doubt. After we get the jinchuriki, I don’t care what you do. If you bring her back… it won’t be terrible.” His nose twitched.

Hidan’s eyebrows lifted in a high arc. “You _like_ her.” A laugh ripped from his chest and he had to remind himself that they were only 100 yards from Konoha’s front gates. Coughing at the lack of oxygen, he grimaced. “But you won’t save her.” A wave of anguish clutched at his chest and he didn’t know how to process it. “Because she’s not worth any money. You sick son of a bitch.” 

His partner sighed, and it was one of the most human things Hidan had ever seen the man do. “She’s not my priority. But she will make for a great distraction for the rest of us to complete our mission. You’ve even said it yourself. She’s immortal. She’ll be fine if she’s locked up for another week.”

Tree bark dug into Hidan’s back and he wiggled to try and break it off and relieve some of the pressure. It didn’t work. “Yeah, but Jashin’s gifts are all different. She has different abilities than mine, even if we don’t know what they are yet.” His shoulders slumped as he finally gave up breaking free from Kakuzu’s grip. “I don’t know what she can do. She _definitely_ doesn’t even know what she can do yet.” Picking at the bark beneath his fingertips, he narrowed his eyes at the ground. “We’ll just have to trust that Jashin has a plan.”

Kakuzu grunted, his signature response. Hidan had gotten so used to them that he could interpret the sound with ease. “Don’t be so blasphemous,” he whined, kicking his shoe at the man. “He always has a plan. This was probably part of that plan all along!”

They quieted down but Kakuzu’s hold on Hidan never lessened. He knew that as soon as Hidan was loose, he would run into the village with reckless abandon, hell-bent on finding Mira. That wasn’t acceptable. 

Kakuzu’s eyes turned towards Konoha’s gates towering high over the treetops. A few Leaf shinobi stood guard at its top, and he knew Itachi’s insight into Konoha’s inner-workings was vital to their success in this operation. 

Even though he would never admit it, he was anxious about Mira’s disappearance. Her presence, although initially unwelcome, had made Hidan’s company more bearable. And sometimes she brought him liver sashimi when it was her turn for a grocery run. 

He had no idea how she knew it was his favorite dish. But it made at least one of his hearts grow a bit fonder. 

Hidan cursed into the winds as the hours passed and they sat there, doing nothing but wait. In between profanities, he sent silent prayers to Jashin for Mira’s safety. He still couldn’t feel her, and that alone sent a harrowing chill up his spine that made it hard to breathe. He _needed_ her back. 

He just wasn’t sure if _she_ needed _him_. A harsh coldness settled into his chest as he realized… 

Maybe Jashin was trying to tell him something.

🔽🔻🔽


	13. Kurenai's Prayer

🔽🔻🔽

Two days passed without much event. Shadow boy came to see her once a day but never said anything. He just sat cross-legged on the cold ground, flicking the lighter open and shut.

Then one day, he didn’t appear. When she expected to see him round the corner, instead she noticed a lighter gait, someone most definitely _not_ shadow boy. In his place, a slender woman appeared, covered in some kind of bandaged dress whose red threads matched her eyes. Not only were her eyes red, but the rims were pink and puffed. Someone had been crying. 

When she spoke, her voice cracked like she hadn’t thought to use it in days. The sound rippled across Mira’s cage and back to the woman, and her eyes darkened when she realized it was her own voice. “You…” She took a shaky breath and clenched the bars between her fists. There was a desperation in her eyes, something that simmered at the bottom of the darkness. “You were there.”

Mira resisted the urge to swallow and was sure she would choke on her own spit if she had to say anything. 

The woman’s eyes bored into Mira’s. “Asuma died… and you were there.” If it was possible, her fist gripped the metal tighter. “I was told that you… helped.” She took a shallow breath and it pooled in a soft cloud in front of her. “You helped them kill him.” 

There was a long pause and a sigh passed Mira’s lips. “Yes,” she stated, drawing her legs up on the thin cot. She placed her chin on her knees and stared at the woman, starting to grow impatient. “He was attacking the man I love.” A concealed part of herself started unfurling as she said those words, but now wasn’t the time to dwell on it. Mira watched the woman flinch and she drew her lips into a firm line. “Were the situation reversed, I know you would have done the same.” 

Kurenai loosened her grip on the bars and took a seat in front of the gate. “Yes, you’re probably right.” 

Mira wondered how the woman sat so still when the floor was cold as ice and her bare legs were unprotected. “What are you here for?” she asked finally, stretching her legs out and moaning at the resounding crack of her joints. Being cooped up in here wasn’t doing her body any good. “You mustn’t have wanted my thrilling conversation. You can get that almost anywhere”

“Shikamaru told me you were here. He didn’t mean to, but he’s still a boy and he’s got a lot on his mind.” Kurenai paused, hesitant to say more. 

In that pause Mira’s eyes brightened and she scooted to the edge of her cot to get closer to the woman. If she was hurting from Asuma’s death, maybe she could slip Mira some information. “Shikamaru…” She leaned forward and rest her elbows on her knees. “The kid?”

Kurenai nodded slowly. “They were very close. Asuma trained Shikamaru from a genin, you know.” A smile ghosted across her face for a split second before she paled. “And he had to watch Asume die.” Her body sagged as the words left her lips. 

Mira couldn’t see the woman’s face but she watched as a tear slid to the floor and stained the concrete. Maybe she wasn’t going to be a well of information after all. Maybe the best Mira could do was provide her with some comfort. Or hell, this was the perfect opportunity to offer a sacrifice to Jashin to solidify their relationship. And in doing so, this woman would be freed from her misery and reunited with her love. _Not a bad idea,_ Mira mused as the gears in her head started to turn. But how to do it? A ritual circle would be noticeable and she doubted they had that long. Maybe there was another way…?

The cot groaned as she rose and crossed the space to Kurenai. The bars still separated them but she could tell the woman was in no condition to fight; the idea of this broken soul even trying to harm Mira was so preposterous that she could have laughed. But that wouldn’t have been appropriate. 

Once she had settled onto the concrete - good lord it was _fucking freezing_ \- she mirrored Kurenai’s body language. Stooping her shoulders, she reached her hand through the grate and gently lifted Kurenai’s chin so that their faces were eye-level with one another. “That’s better,” she soothed, brushing a fingertip across the length of Kurenai’s jawline. “You don’t need to be so sad,” she whispered, staring into Kurenai’s eyes. They glittered like garnets, each twinkle like a star in the night sky. It was no wonder that man fell in love with her with eyes like those. 

“Asuma’s not gone forever.” 

Kurenai blinked and leaned closer to the stranger behind bars. “He’s not?” she breathed, a sliver of hope rising from her lips. 

“No,” Mira brushed the back of her fingers down Kurenai’s cheek. “Of course not. No one’s ever truly gone.” It was weird, but Mira felt overwhelmingly calm in that moment, sitting there with that woman. Her body started to warm as she sat with Kurenai, and the feeling was so strong and strange since she had been holed up in the dark frigidity of the prison for days. She felt a tingle in her bones and it took everything in her not to tremble from the sensation. “Do you want to see him?”

The woman’s eyes, although glittering, had a deep scar in them that pulsed at Mira’s words. “ _Yes_ ,” Kurenai croaked, her desperation betraying her better senses. “Yes, of course.” When Mira nodded, she drew in a quick breath. “But how is that possible? He’s gone.” Her eyes darkened again and she pulled back, out of Mira’s reach. “I watched them bury his body.” Tears pooled in her eyes and she brushed them away. “You can’t prey on my weak heart,” a flash of caution rippled across her features. “I was told you work with him. The reaper.” 

Mira licked her lips at the mention of Hidan. “We’re acquainted,” she lied smoothly, reaching for Kurenai’s hand with her own. “But I’m not cruel like him. I only want to help you.” When their hands touched, Kurenai’s muscles relaxed and she inched closer to Mira, her eyes dulling until she looked less like a woman and more like a corpse. 

“Yes, you’re only here to help me.” 

What happened next, Mira couldn’t explain even to herself. Kurenai was looking at her in that sort of half-dead way when her eyes suddenly widened. In the reflection of her eyes, Mira could see herself… but it wasn’t someone she recognized. As they stared into each other’s depths, Mira could feel something fluttering in her palm, and it was only then that she realized she had placed it against Kurenai’s chest. There was nothing there, really, but the fluttering was strong, like a hummingbird caught in the cage of her fingers. 

She pinched her fingers to grasp at the sensation, and as she pulled it from Kurenai’s chest, the last remaining spark in the woman’s eyes vanished. What remained was a pool of black ink, and in its reflection… 

Mira’s blood chilled as the skeletal version of herself, white skin with black patterns across her body, looked back at her. The fluttering in her palm slowed until it beat like a tiny heart in her hands. Weak. Fragile. Broken.

But the woman before her was anything but scared. She looked… serene. Mira watched as the woman rose from the ground and walked down the hallway to the door. She didn’t even bother brushing herself off or pulling her dress down her thighs to a more respectable length. The door clicked shut behind her and silence engulfed the prison once more.

🔽🔻🔽

It took too long for Itachi and Kisame to arrive. It took so long that Hidan’s stomach was churning from a combination of hunger and worry. Kakuzu, the piece of shit zombie that he was, didn’t seem to care. As the other Akatsuki pair approached, Kisame jabbed that Hidan was finally getting the treatment he deserved, and Hidan spit at him. But then Itachi gave them all _the look_ , the one that told them to shut up or he’d kill them faster than their heart took to beat. There wasn’t much of a choice when Itachi did that, so the men fell silent and listened to his explanation of how they were going to get into Konoha, what they would do once they entered the village, and a lot of other boring details Hidan didn’t care to listen to. He was just going to go after Mira anyways.

Kakuzu watched Hidan without blinking, as though he knew what the man was thinking.

When all was said and done and their roles divided, they separated. Four Akatsuki entering the village from one point would draw too much attention, and they needed to cover as much ground as possible to find the jinchuriki with ease. So they split into their natural pairs and Hidan idled up to the village wall, Kakuzu close on his heels. He breathed steadily, determination set into each movement he made. He and Kakuzu didn’t speak as they began their ascent, their sandals clicking on the rough surface. They expected to find a few shinobi at the top, but it was a minor concern.

The only thing that mattered was finding someone to take him to where Mira was being held. And keeping Kakuzu from interfering.

As they ran up the side of Konoha’s walls, a blur of red and black rushed past them in the opposite direction. Hidan peered over his shoulder since he thought it was one of the Akatsuki members retreating or regrouping or whatever, even though that didn’t really make sense… but instead he saw a shock of jet black hair whipping around a woman’s face as she fell, down, down, down… her body crumpling like paper as she hit the ground. He watched as blood gargled from her lips and pooled around her body in an odd shape that looked, if one squinted their eyes just right, like crimson wings. 

In her cell, Mira felt the heartbeat in her palm fade until there was nothing left but air.

🔽🔻🔽

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **KURENAI IS NOT PREGNANT IN THIS STORY. I want to make that clear. Also, I know this chapter is shorter than the others, but I loved where it ended so I'll try to post a meatier chapter next time. Thanks for reading <3


	14. Broken

🔽🔻🔽

Hidan decided early on that he didn’t like Konoha. It was filled to the brim with people - with sacrifices - but there was so much urbanization and little nature. The villagers crawled over each other like ants in an anthill, their streets the tunnels crisscrossing without proper blueprints or plans. Without reason. Hidan viewed Konoha much the same; too crowded, nonsensical, and really easy to get lost in. 

It was his first trip to the infamous Leaf village and hopefully his last. Kakuzu didn’t seem to mind, much like he never seemed to mind much, but he directed them around the village without haste. Where would a young shinobi be? Someone aspiring to save everyone and be well-loved enough to become Hokage?

They checked the training grounds. Empty. Various restaurants and shops. Empty. The shinobi academy. Only filled with little brats chasing each other and throwing paper shuriken through the air. It wasn’t long before their presence drew suspicion, but luckily they had been able to dispose of the weaker shinobi in their path. They didn’t bother hiding the bodies even though Itachi had hinted that it would be wise; practical even. Panic slowly crept through the village like a fog, clouding the judgement of all parties it swept over. Soon, the streets lay abandoned, but eyes watched the Akatsuki pairs’ every movement. Hidden, but keeping watch. 

“Apparently the entire village has some shinobi sense,” Hidan grumbled, kicking at a rock on their path. He had spent his time following Kakuzu since for one, if he was spotted alone and ambushed by multiple shinobi, he was at a disadvantage, and two, he might be able to find the prison if he kept an eye out. 

He wasn’t successful in the latter, but the former was kept at bay by Kakuzu’s presence. For once he was grateful for the man’s stoic nature. It meant that he didn’t say much as they continued their mission. “How do we know the boy is even here?” Hidan whined, hoping to seem invested. In truth, he itched to run from Kakuzu’s side and tear the entire village apart looking for Mira, but he knew that might cause more problems than anything. Besides, if Itachi were close by, he’d see to it that Hidan never walked again, _or worse._ He was convinced that people only liked Itachi for his looks. A _pretty_ boy. 

When Hidan scoffed to himself, Kakuzu gave him a hard stare. “What?” Hidan spat, his nerves starting to fray at the ends. Mira’s presence had been like a heated blanket on a cold winter night, and while at first it was hot and stiff and uncomfortable, he had grown used to it. Enjoyed it. Was comforted by it. So without that feeling, without her presence even at a distance, it felt like that level of security and warmth was quickly unravelling and if he didn’t find her in enough time, all that would be left were worn threads that slipped through his fingers. It was maddening. He needed to kill something. 

Kakuzu stopped walking and turned to Hidan suddenly, causing Hidan to bump into the man’s chest. Hidan took a cautious step back and placed his hand on his scythe, unsure what his partner was planning. 

“You’re not focused,” Kakuzu grunted. “We have a better chance of success if you focus on the mission.”

Hidan growled lowly, the mixture of emotions that had been plaguing him for the past few days starting to spill over. “My _mission_ is of far greater importance than _yours._ What would Jashin say if I lost her, Kakuzu? How could I face Him?” He began pacing and kicked up a cloud of dust around the pair. “I keep telling myself that this is part of His plan, that we’re being tested. But what if we’re not? What if this is just some random event with random challenges and random outcomes? Don’t I have to act to force the outcome I want?” 

His partner’s eyes shifted to the area behind Hidan. Company was approaching. “Was it a coincidence that led Mira to you?” he asked with a crack of his neck. If Hidan wasn’t paying mind to their surroundings-- again, _distracted_ \-- he would only be a liability. 

“Of course not!” Hidan spat back, insulted by the question. “You know that already, Kakuzu.”

“You seem to have forgotten it,” his partner said calmly. 

Hidan blinked and stopped pacing. The dust cloud had grown tremendously by then, blocking the outside perimeter except for shadows of movement. Movement that Hidan finally noticed. As Leaf shinobi jumped through the haze towards them, Hidan broke away from Kakuzu and moved in the opposite direction. As weapons clashed behind him and the ground broke from one of Kakuzu’s punches, Hidan tore through the streets of Konoha, scanning everything, _everything_ , for any clues Jashin may have left to lead him to Mira.

Kakuzu was right. Hidan had been a fool. And for the briefest of moments, his own doubt seeped into his bones and sent a chill coursing through his body. A cold that scared him. A stillness that signified that for once, for the briefest of moments, he had allowed doubt to creep in. 

Although he hoped that Jashin would forgive him for his disbelief, Hidan hoped even stronger that Mira would never find out.

🔽🔻🔽

It was after Kurenai’s death that the torture started. Unlike Sunagakure, torture in the Leaf was a torture of the mind instead of the body. Mira wasn’t sure if she was grateful for that or not. Visible scars could be dismissed as normal, something every shinobi goes through. It was nothing, just a fight gone wrong. But the cuts that ran deepest, the ones beneath the surface... Those were the ones that never truly healed. There was no scar there, only pain that throbbed and after a time, the memory of that pain. No treatment would heal that. 

The Leaf’s Intelligence Team started by probing her memories, supposedly looking for any information on the Akatsuki. Upon finding chakra blocks surrounding any Akatsuki intel that Mira herself placed during the two days left alone in her cell, they switched tactics. Instead, they focused on her personal life, on digging up tragedies and loss surrounding her relationships with others. Supposedly this course of action would prompt her to tell them to stop, to beg for release or something. But she had already been through those traumas and made it out alive. Of course she could relive them and be fine. 

But then they surveyed her happier memories and altered their endings. Where her mother once stood in a flowery apron, waving Mira goodbye as she left for Academy training, now she lay on the blood-soaked grass of a long-forgotten battlefield, reaching out her hand for help.

For life.

The logical part of Mira’s mind knew that the memory was false; her mother had retired from shinobi duties shortly after Mira had been born, and she hadn’t returned to fight at all. There was no way that her mother had died on a field, alone and frightened.

But then Mira noticed the gray flecked throughout her mother’s hair, the crow’s feet around her eyes, the loneliness rattling from her chest. This was _after_ Mira’s defection from Suna. This was new. It wasn’t something Mira had witnessed herself, but in the memory’s odd fog, she felt her body move closer to her mother’s dying figure, the lower half of the woman’s body crushed by a fallen boulder. She reached out blindly towards Mira, her eyes betraying the heartbreak that she felt. 

Mira’s real body, strapped to a splintered wooden chair in one of Konoha’s interrogation rooms, shuddered as an ache bloomed in her chest. 

“She left me,” Rin gasped, pleading with the person standing before her. “My own daughter, she left…” A blood trail leaked from the corner of the woman’s mouth and she coughed to relieve the pressure building in her chest. Mira expected her mother to ask if she, or this person whose memory this was since it clearly wasn’t her own, had seen her daughter or knew of her well-being.

Instead, her mother Rin looked her in the eyes and a haunted sound choked from her throat. “ _You’re not worthy,_ ” she rasped, blood now leaking from one of her ears. “You think you’ve been blessed, but it’s nothing but a curse. _Mira,_ ” a scarlet flash of anger in the woman’s eyes mirrored the crimson painting her features, “ _how can you live an eternity knowing that you’ve destroyed the lives of innocents? That you’ve ferried the soul of your own mother to hell?”_

Mira couldn’t stop the version of herself in the fog from shifting forward and holding a tanto to her mother’s throat. Rin clutched at Mira’s throat, her own Sunagakure headband sliding loosely over her eyes to hide the pure hatred flowing from them, as Mira slowly drew her blade through the flesh and muscle binding her mother’s neck together. Blood pooled out from the wound and onto Mira’s hands, the color reminding her of Jashin. What Jashin required of her. 

The interrogation squad responsible for extraction of information and torture stood by in the interrogation room, watching the scene play out on their memory screens. A few of the members grimaced at the sight, one young blonde girl included. “How do you do that?” Ino Yamanaka asked her father, the one leading the interrogation session. “You can’t know this about her or whoever that woman is, so how are you projecting it into her mind?” 

Inojin’s scowl carved into his face as he watched Mira’s body tense under the restraints. “We can’t project everything ourselves. At best, we can fabricate a memory or a feeling and the person’s mind will do the rest… Create the memory or image, essentially. She must have already had this fear seated inside or we wouldn’t have been able to tap into it. What you’re seeing is a false image. This woman that Mira is seeing-- this event, rather-- isn’t one that’s actually occurred. It’s a fabrication from her own fears, something that she had considered, but perhaps not in this exact way, that we’re merely… aiding her in seeing.”

Ino knew that her dad used chakra to map a person’s mind, but she didn’t know they did things like this. Creating false memories? It seemed like a fantasy. Part of her felt sorry for Mira, but the other part felt justified. Ino had, after all, witnessed her mentor Asuma’s death. And Mira was partly to blame for that.

And while Ino didn’t wish that pain on anyone, she could make an exception this once. Especially now that not only had she murdered Asuma, but Kurenai as well. They weren’t sure how Mira had done it, but the cameras caught Kurenai coming to Mira’s cell right before Ino’s sensei had committed suicice. 

If one Akatsuki member-- no, not even a member, but an associate-- was capable of causing so much pain… none of them deserved to live.

It was a view that Ino knew all of her comrades shared.

Hana, a jonin that Ino knew in passing, approached then and diverted her father in conversation. Ino tried not to listen but the whispered “Akatsuki” followed by “are here” completely frazzled her composure and made her knees grow weak. While her father was distracted, Ino fled the building before she got sick in close quarters. Bile rose in the back of her throat and she fought to hold it down since she knew she had to find Shikamaru and Choji to let them know they were here.

To let them know that it was time for revenge, on their terms.

🔽🔻🔽

Hidan’s impatience soared to new heights as he circled around the village without a road map or a sign in sight. He figured that in order to get a message from Jashin, he might have to give a little. Jashin was, after all, a greedy bitch. Despite Hidan being his ardent follower, he wouldn’t get any handouts, not from this god. It was one of the things he simultaneously loved and hated about Him. It was something he just had to take in stride. 

So when that shadow shinobi and his blonde friend appeared on a rooftop not too far away, Hidan felt that Jashin might actually be looking out for him. Or that he needed to give Him their souls as sacrifice. Possibly both. 

The two young Leaf shinobi were running in the opposite direction of Hidan, so he had to do a 180 to reach them. Surprisingly, they didn’t pay him any attention. “OI! You brats! Turn around and fight me!” 

They ignored him, which infinitely ticked Hidan off. “OI,” he tried again, chasing after them. “Don’t you two have a warrant out for me or something? Come try and kill me! I’ll even let you swing first!” The sun was beating down on the rooftops and heating the air. Hidan nearly choked. This village was the wooorst. “C’mon,” Hidan whined, skidding to a halt as the children did so. “I know you wanna kill me! Give it a try!”

They turned to face Hidan and a long-haired brunette boy appeared from behind him. “Ahh, you’ve got me cornered! What a surprise!” Hidan cried, unable to hide his excitement. “Now normally I’d want to take my time with this, but I’ve got places to go, people to save… Speaking of which! Mira! Dark hair, kind of a reddish purple, gorgeous curves and a mouth that cracks like a whip when you make her mad! Hits pretty hard, too..” Hidan murmured, rubbing his jaw. “You Leaf assholes have her here somewhere. Now I’m gonna kill two of you deadweights and the one left over is gonna take me to her!”

The kids didn’t respond. Instead, they took to pulling out their weapons and readying themselves for a fight. Hidan laughed maniacally as he pulled out his scythe. Even if he was in a hurry… a bit of a delay couldn’t hurt. 

Right as Hidan raised his scythe and took a leap forwards, an explosion sounded and flames licked high in the air. The two normal Leaf kids turned towards the sound in panic, whispering something amongst themselves. They rushed off towards the explosion, leaving shadow boy to stare at Hidan. He pulled out Asuma’s lighter, lit a cigarette, and blew a puff of smoke in the air.

“Looks like you’re not a coward after all, eh? That’ll make this much more _fun_.” Hidan grinned, showing his full teeth. 

Shikamaru took a drag before addressing Hidan. The smoke coiled in the air around him like a snake. “You don’t need to kill any of us. I’ll take you to her, no fuss, no fight.”

Hidan’s amber eyes narrowed and all of his joy at the impending battle disappeared in an instant. He crossed the distance to Shikamaru in two large strides, grasping the boy’s collar in his fist and lifting him to his toes. “You better not be lying. And she better not be _dead_.”

Shadow boy was unfazed but the cigarette fell from his lips. “You’re gonna try to kill me the first chance you get. But I have something you want. Only makes sense to help you get to her so I can live to kill you another day.”

At that, Hidan barked a laugh. “We’ll see who kills who in the end, kid.”

For now, Hidan had no choice but to listen to the brat. He’d do anything to get Mira back safely. _Anything._ And in that moment, it meant following shadow boy to where Mira was being held. As soon as they were reunited, Hidan kept telling himself as they walked painfully slow back the way they came, through Konoha’s deserted streets and across a bridge, they would kill this kid together. It had to be fate. Hidan had to _believe._

Hidan’s extremities tingled as he fought back at the doubt attempting to swallow him whole.

🔽🔻🔽

When they arrived at the prison, it looked just as abandoned as the village streets. There was no one standing guard, no one planted inside the building, not even prisoners lining the cages. Empty.

“Your partners are causing quite the disturbance,” Shikamaru explained as he opened a lower door that led to Mira’s cell. “It’s taking more manpower than we thought to keep them from destroying the village. We even had to evacuate the civilians to be safe.” 

He was being oddly chatty and Hidan didn’t buy it for a second, but ahead of them were rows beyond rows of prison cells, each one identical to the next. The air was cold and filled Hidan’s lungs with ice. He worried that Mira would be frozen by now if she’d been in the cells for the past three days, but he also worried that she’d be unconscious, bloodied, or even broken. His fears were illogical, of course, since Mira was immortal like him and would heal in time from any injuries she sustained. That’s what he kept telling himself, but it did little to make him feel better. Everything was going too easily, and he knew not to trust it. 

But his heart fluttered at the thought of seeing Mira again, and it was almost strong enough to make him forget everything else. _Lord, what has this woman done to me?_

Hidan peered into every cell that they passed, determined to find any trace of Mira left behind. For all he knew, shadow boy could have been leading him to his own death, but if there was any chance of finding Mira, he had to take it. No, not finding-- rescuing. Rescuing her from whatever Jashin had planned. Or was the rescue part of the plan?

Hidan didn’t know anymore. Everything was confusing now and his chest ached from the absence of Mira’s spirit, her energy. Why would Jashin separate them after he spent so much time bringing them together? Was Hidan paying for his sins? Was Mira paying for her own?

Just as his head began to spin, Shikamaru stopped ahead of him and nodded to the cell on his right. “Here she is.” Pulling a key from his pocket-- which Hidan noticed he hadn’t picked up from anywhere, so he must have had it on him from before Hidan had caught him in the streets-- Shikamaru slid it into the lock and clicked the door open. It swung open on its own and Shikamaru stepped aside to allow it room. 

Hidan held his breath, expecting Mira to burst through the door in a whirlwind of flame and passion, but nothing happened. Everything remained quiet. Taking quick steps forward, Hidan peered into the cell before stepping inside. “Mira?” he called quietly, his eyes adjusting to the dark. There was a figure crouched in the corner of the cell, and Hidan knew immediately that it was Mira. She was found.

He rushed into the cell, not even caring that shadow boy could lock them both inside again. She was _found_ , found and beautiful and alive. The last one was the most important part. Even as he closed the distance between them, he couldn’t feel her presence. It was like she was just a mirage of his soul’s imagination, to tease and taunt him into an early grave. To play with his mind. To break his heart.

He kneeled before her and noticed that she was oddly pale, even in the darkness. She had always had a golden glow to her skin, something he loved about her. But now she was almost devoid of all color; even her hair looked dull. Something was wrong. Something Hidan didn’t know how to assess. “What did you do to her?” he breathed, reaching out to place a hand on her bicep. As soon as they touched, Mira’s body stiffened and her eyes snapped open. Wild. Feral. Distrusting. _Pained._

She immediately landed a palm thrust to Hidan’s chest and pushed him all the way across the cell and into the bars. Dazed, he forced his lungs to choke in a breath and take in Mira’s appearance. She rose to her feet and got into a defensive pose, one Hidan knew well enough by then. But her movements were off; normally she held herself with grace, but now everything was off by a few degrees. Her knees weren’t bent enough, her elbows were out at an odd angle, her hair was in a knot at the base of her neck. Not a braid in sight, and she always wore her hair in a braid. 

Coughing and finding blood in his mouth, Hidan cursed aloud. “Fuck, Mira. It’s me. Goddamn, woman. You haven’t hit me that hard in ages.” He expected her to laugh, apologize, or maybe even tell him that he’d grown weak. But she didn’t respond. Her breaths shallowed and her pupils dilated. 

Fear.

Her movements showed a scared human being, not a trained shinobi. Yet her strength betrayed her, and her muscles moved on memory. If anything, she was more deadly like this than she was before. Unpredictable. 

“Mira,” Hidan said as smoothly as possible, trying to avoid the gravel in his chest from giving way. “It’s me. Hidan. The man you’ve been with for the past, I don’t know, six months or something? Eternity, really, with how Jashin’s saddled us together,” he huffed, rolling his shoulders back and hearing them crack. 

Mira flinched at the sound and her feet shuffled nervously. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, Jesus.” He took a step forwards and the hairs on her arms bristled. If he wasn’t worried she was gonna attack him, he would have turned around to yell at shadow boy. Instead, he hissed under his breath, knowing Shikamaru would hear. “Hey, what the everlasting _fuck_ have you done to her?”

Shikamaru, having already closed and locked the gate, leaned against the opposing wall and groaned aloud. “She was a real piece of work,” he said after a moment. A twinge of gratification sounded in his voice and he couldn’t keep a smirk off his lips. “It took a while for the team to break her down. They worked nonstop for hours, so props to them.” He fiddled with the lighter in his hand but didn’t light it. “Normally they only work in small doses, the interrogation team. But we usually have our captives for much longer than we knew we’d have her. We figured you all were coming for her.” Another flick and his lighter clicked shut. “Well, I thought you would. Didn’t anticipate your friends.”

Mira receded back into her corner and slid to the floor, her eyes wide but unseeing. Hidan wanted to go to her, cup her face in his hands, and press feverish kisses across her face to wake her up out of whatever fog she was in. But this time when someone went over their plans, he actually listened. 

From the corner of his eye, he watched Shikamaru continue to divulge information. Pride was making the boy reckless. Or perhaps a lack of sleep. There were definite bags under his eyes that Hidan hadn’t noticed earlier. 

Taking a breath, Shikamaru continued. “We couldn’t afford to be careful due to the time crunch, so she’s a bit… scrambled, if you will. Man, did she have some memories though. I’ve never actually seen the interrogation squad at work, so it was quite interesting. They were very thorough when they weaved into her mind.”

Hidan’s muscles tensed as Shikamaru spoke, but he tried to remain as collected as possible since he was in a cage with a scared animal. A dangerous one. Even if neither of them could be killed, they could still beat the everloving shit out of each other, making their escape impossible. Shadow boy had probably planned for that.

_Fuck._

“They say memories are like a tapestry woven together. All different colors, shapes, and thread types… Some coarse like rope, others smooth as silk.” Shikamaru put an unlit cigarette in his mouth and talked around it. “In order to find what threads we needed, we had to unravel the tapestry a bit. We couldn’t leave any thread unchecked since it could have been connected to something important, so they went through everything. Your girl, though, she had quite the defenses built up. Talented chakra work. You should be proud.” He nibbled on the end of his cigarette for a moment, carefully watching what little of Hidan’s face he could see. “But once we started pulling at various threads, the whole tapestry started to unravel, bit by bit. Funny thing about memory that way. It’s all connected. Tug on the right one and the rest sort of spill out.

“Don’t worry, we put them all back together. But some of them were hard to place and didn’t quite mesh right, and others were… well, let’s say they were tainted.”

Hidan’s fingers clenched around the gate behind him and he _really_ wished it was the boy’s throat instead. “What do you mean _tainted?_ ”

Shikamaru gave a half shrug in response. “I dunno, tainted. It’s what the intel guys used to describe it. Some of her memories were affected during the extraction, so they didn’t go back properly. It’s like when you spill ink on paper, or in this case, the tapestry. It becomes tainted, right? A bit crinkled or soggy, stained another color? Who knows what the hell that did to her mental state, but clearly it isn’t very good--”

“No _shit_ it isn’t good, fuckface!”

The bored look on Shikamaru’s face only made Hidan’s blood boil faster. 

“Well, not my problem. I’ve done my job.” Shikamaru sat on the ground and picked at a fray in his pants. “And you’ve got your reunion. Go ahead, go see how she is.”

Hidan would have murdered this boy twelve times over by now, and when he finally got the chance, he knew it would be sweet. “Your blood is mine,” he spat before turning his attention back to Mira. If he was going to get out of there alive, he needed her help. He wasn’t about to leave her to fend for herself, especially not now. And he couldn’t abandon another child of Jashin. A deep ache in the marrow of his bones took his breath away and he couldn’t get any air. 

He couldn’t live without her. Not anymore. He refused to.

Slowly, so not to startle her, Hidan crept across the floor to crouch in front of Mira. He could feel Shikamaru’s eyes on them but it didn’t matter- not anymore. “Mira,” he tried again, his voice so soft that even he hardly heard it. “Mira, love, look at me. It’s okay. I’m here.” She didn’t stir and he swallowed the sigh that threatened to spill from his lips. 

Just like when they first practiced, he pressed his energy out from him to try and touch her own, to try and feel her. To awaken her senses and revive her memory. But when his energy reached hers, it flickered like a flame tortured by rain and bit back at him. He watched a shiver roll across Mira’s skin and knew that even if she didn’t realize it, she had felt that. 

Maybe words weren’t the way to reach her. Maybe… only energy would. Chakra. _Jashin_ , if the goddamned god was good for anything. After all, Hidan reasoned, their initial introduction was because of a feeling they both had. Drawn to each other, or some mystical shit like that. Hidan hadn’t really considered it before, but in the darkness of the cell with this broken woman in front of him, it made sense. Their connection had always been a feeling rather than anything they ever said or did to each other. Sure, actions helped, but that wasn’t what solidified their relationship. It was the force between them. Something Hidan couldn’t really put into words.

And it was his only hope.

“If I’ve ever done anything in your service before, believe me that I’ll do so much more if you just _help me_ ,” Hidan prayed quietly, his head bowed and his body leaned so far over that his head nearly touched his knees. “I don’t understand your plan- it’s not my job to know. You brought us together for some reason, so all I ask is that you help keep us together. Help Mira. Help _us_.” He felt warmth spread from his fingertips, through his arms and chest, all the way down to his toes. 

_Jashin._

Taking a deep breath, Hidan allowed the warmth to settle, carve out a home inside his body. The feeling was familiar, and he knew that if he wasn’t careful, his body would overheat and his organs would start to boil and the cells die. He had to be cautious, but quick. He had to force his way into Mira’s mind to mend the broken parts. 

Sitting upright and holding his arms out before him, he placed his hands aside Mira’s face and leaned close.

Upon contact, Mira started to flail against him and claw at his arms, his hands, his face, kick at his stomach and chest and anywhere she could reach. She did all of this, but the man didn’t even flinch. He didn’t move even when she heard a bone crack. That made him all the more terrifying. 

“Shhh,” he soothed, keeping a steady hold on either side of Mira’s face. “It’s okay. It’s me. I won’t hurt you.” The terror rippling in Mira’s eyes only made his resolve stronger. 

As he forced his lips to hers, everything went dark.

🔽🔻🔽

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end!! There will probably be two or three chapters left until it's over. Thank you for continuing to read <3 This has been a blast to write and I'm considering a sequel in the future. :D


	15. Memory

The next thing Hidan knew, he was standing in a field of wildflowers. Deep blues, pristine whites, and swirled violets, a mixture of the other two colors; all stages of bloom crested around him. As they swayed in the breeze, the grasses tickled his calves, although he couldn’t feel it. He couldn’t feel anything, now that he thought about it. Not the wind in his hair, the sun warming his skin, the pollen dusting his arms. Nothing. 

Relief washed over him as he realized... it was better than the ache that had been gnawing in his chest for days now. 

He heard a giggle and turned around to find a teenage girl spying on him. Dark burgundy hair in a high ponytail, she bent at the waist with her arms behind her back, leaning towards the stranger. She giggled again, a soft sound that set Hidan’s nerves on fire. Somehow, it was familiar. His scalp prickled. 

“Are you lost?” the girl asked finally, a smile painted across her pink lips. “You don’t look like any kind of man I’ve seen before.” A hint of mischief flashed in her magenta eyes and she smiled brighter. “Are you looking for someone?”

Hidan’s muscles tensed and he stumbled a step backwards. “Yes,” he choked out, looking the girl up and down. She had on traditional shinobi gear, although the colors discorded against the greens and yellows around her. Not from the area; traveling. Probably on a mission of some kind. She couldn’t have been more than 16 years old max, a bit young for Hidan’s tastes. But he found himself drawn to the curve of her calves, her hips, her neck… 

When he licked his lips, she definitely noticed. Slinking towards him like a cat, the girl ran a fingertip across Hidan’s exposed chest. Suddenly, he was shirtless, another fact that _didn’t make sense._

“I’ve got to be dreaming,” he muttered, watching the girl as she twirled around him. 

“Must be a good dream,” she replied, too close to Hidan’s ear for his comfort. When he shivered, she giggled again. “So sensitive,” she purred. In the next instant, she was lounging on the ground in front of him, the flowers spread out around her. “Mmmmm,” she moaned softly, reaching a bare leg out to touch Hidan’s thigh. Using her foot, she massaged the muscle lightly. “This friend of yours… how close are you?” 

Hidan swallowed, his discomfort- or _something else_ entirely- making him sweat. “Who?” he asked, suddenly unsure of himself. “What friend?”

“The one you’re looking for, silly!” Another giggle and Hidan’s arm hair stood on end. “You can’t forget her already!” 

The amusement swirling in her eyes looked positively _devilish_ , and an ache bloomed in Hidan’s chest. “Who are you anyway? How do you know I’m looking for someone?”

The girl stopped teasing him and returned her leg to her side. Stretching her arms over her head, she yawned. “It’s obvious. You’ve got that puppy dog look, like you miss someone. Or you’ve been hurt. Plus,” she sang, jumping to her feet. “I can just tell. A feeling, I guess.” She shrugged and her ponytail flicked to the side, brushing across her shoulders. “You’re giving off massive waves of longing and loneliness, dude. It’s not hard to tell you’re looking for something. Or _someone._ ”

Hidan ran a hand down his face and screwed his eyes shut. “Okay, I’m looking for someone.” This girl was distracting even when she wasn’t trying to be. “Why don’t I remember?”

Shrugging again, the young shinobi started walking away towards the treeline at the edge of the meadow. “Memory’s a funny thing,” she called over her shoulder. “Maybe retracing your steps will help jog it. Worth a shot, right?” 

Hidan opened his eyes to follow her trail, but the girl was gone. The ache in his chest began to throb, not as strongly as before, but still there. Still annoying. Still cold. Despite the sunlight and the memory of its warmth, he shivered again. Maybe she was onto something. He just needed to keep moving and retrace his steps. That was simple enough, right?

He walked through the field, crushing flowers as he went, glad he didn’t have the bulky Akatsuki robe to slow him down. It was unclear what exactly he was doing here, but it had to be important or he wouldn’t have bothered--

He passed the treeline and entered not a forest like he expected, but a desert. The coarse sands drifted over his toes and the moon hung low in the black sky. Sand dunes lined the horizon and Hidan scowled. What the _fuck_ was he doing in the middle of a desert?

He didn’t know where to go, so he just started walking. If he were fond of scenery, he’d be sorely disappointed by the desert. Other than a few cacti and a scorpion or two sliding through the sand, there wasn’t much to see. It was no wonder that Mira got excited for seeing animals and shit on their journeys if she came from _here._

A surge of electricity jolted up his spine as something clicked in his memory. “Mira,” he breathed, suddenly looking around more frantically. “Mira!” He repeated, louder this time. “Where are you?” 

He heard shouting in the distance and ran towards the sound, soon finding himself encroaching upon a weathered ruin. Beneath eroding stone pillars and arches, shadows blackened the sands. And beyond those pillars, ninja clashed in battle. Mira had to be in there. 

Groaning, Hidan sprinted to the ruin’s edge and skidded to a halt, trying to get an idea of what was happening. Sunagakure shinobi clashed with hooded assailants, none of which Hidan remotely recognized. They were trading blow for blow in an unrealistic way, so Hidan ran straight through the fray. No one noticed him. No kunai flew his way. No curses, justus, screams. Nothing. He trailed across the sands and for the first time in his life, no one cared. No one gave him offended looks at his language or his religion, and no one tried to sell him anything. It was weird. It was _...nice?_

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he continued looking for… well he couldn’t remember anymore. Someone. Someone important. A woman? Probably, knowing him. A follower of Jashin? ...maybe? 

Grumbling to himself, he shifted through the battles and danced around mistimed punches, stray jutsu, and whatever else came his way. No one looked familiar enough for him to address them, and they were all too preoccupied to pay him any attention. When he looked closer at each of them, he noticed the variance in ages. Some were his age, some were closer to the 30 or 40 year mark. Others, most of the shinobi, actually, were teenagers or younger. One in particular caught his eye. 

As soon as his eyes locked onto her across the open-air room, screams started echoing throughout the ruins. The sound bounced off of the pillars, pieces of them crumbling to the ground from the sheer force of the voices. Hidan heard the distinct sound of blood dripping from weapons and people choking on their own fluids, and he knew the battle had taken a turn. It would be over soon enough. After the first blood was spilled, fights typically ended within ten minutes if either party knew what they were doing. 

Hidan clicked his tongue and took large strides towards Mira. She was panting against one of the larger pillars in the ruin, blood trailing down the side of her face from a gash above her temple. Her headband lay around her neck, but she didn’t have her signature weapons with her. Only a kunai in each hand, both dripping with blood. 

Her eyes were wide and she was gulping big mouthfuls of air like she couldn’t get enough, like she hadn’t had time to breathe all night and this was the only moment of rest she would get. A hooded body lay a few feet ahead of her, face down and buried a little in the sand. The moonlight cast a soft glow on the scene, illuminating each curve and footprint in the sand. Outlining the body were crimson sands, stained red from the fatal wounds inflicted to its torso. The corpse was small. A child’s, no bigger than the shaking girl gasping for air. Both so young, yet taught to fight. Go to war. 

Survive. Kill. Die. Be Killed. 

Normally Hidan would be thankful for the sacrifice to Jashin, as all souls went through Him, but the girl by the pillar looked unsure. She hadn’t learned her place in the world yet and was thrust into battle without understanding the true meaning of a life or what it meant to take one. 

As another scream filled the air, the young girl startled and knocked her kunai against the pillar. That too startled her and she stumbled forwards, checking her surroundings quickly to ensure she was safe. Hidan could tell that she wanted to run towards the screams and help her comrades, but her body was coming off of its adrenaline rush and not cooperating with her desires. Instead, the fear rippled at the edges of her vision, something Hidan recognized in the way her legs wobbled. She was going to collapse. Two steps from the person she just killed. No, one step. Right beside it. 

Before she could fall, Hidan scooped her up and cradled her in his arms. It was weird, but this girl felt important, like the one he was looking for. Tears brimmed in her eyes and threatened to spill, but Hidan ran his fingers down the side of her face in an attempt to be comforting. It didn’t work. 

A scream caught in her throat as she looked Hidan in the eyes and saw her own reflection staring back at her. A scared little girl. Young, on her first mission as a genin. Told to check the perimeter. Unaware a band of nomadic peoples lay hiding in the ruins. Unaware that they had orders to kill anyone without a permit on sight. Unaware she would take her first kill. 

Hidan looked around to make sure no one was watching him. The battle had quieted down around them and he knew it was only a matter of time before the winners- whichever side it was, he wasn’t sure- found them and attacked. He didn’t want to stick around for that. “It’s okay, I’m a friend” he urged gently, as loudly as he dared. He knew that he could kill anyone who came his way, but he didn’t want to scare the girl away or accidentally get her killed. So instead, he spirited her away, running through the ruins in a blind fever, kicking up sand as he went. Soft, silent tears streamed down the girl’s face and dampened his arms, but that only made him hold her tighter. “Just hold on,” he whispered, pausing aside a pillar to wait for a hooded man to finish a kill. 

Right as the man’s sword was removed from its victim, the man immediately turned towards Hidan’s hidden figure and leaped, weapon raised to strike. 

Cursing loudly, Hidan rolled out of the way and clutched Mira tighter. “I’m not here to fight,” he ground out, nostrils flaring. The man didn’t say anything but brandished his sword once more, rushing towards Hidan but aiming for the girl in his arms. 

Hidan ran then; he ran so hard that he was sure his joints would give way and his chakra would flare out from the soles of his feet, lighting a trail in his wake. In seconds, he had exited the ruin and bounded over the closest dune he could find, determined to put distance between himself and the attacker. But as he crossed the dune, he ran right back into the edge of the ruin again, the man with the sword running straight for him.

“The fuck--” he cried, backpedaling as quickly as possible. It wasn’t enough. He tossed Mira to the side before reaching for the scythe at his back-- that wasn’t there. Hissing at the absurdness of his situation, he allowed the man’s sword to run through his forearm as he kicked and sent him flying into the arch at the ruin’s entryway. Hidan pulled the sword from his arm with a grimace and held it in his right hand as a weapon. “You piece of shit,” he growled, stomping towards the man. “I’m gonna run this through your eye--”

He peeled back the man’s hood to find that he couldn’t ram the sword through his eye-- there was no eye. There weren’t any facial features at all, just a blank canvas. Hidan blinked rapidly for a second before shoving the sword through anyway. When the metal hit the pillar on the other side, Hidan fell forwards into the sand. Scrambling to his knees and kicking sand everywhere, he reeled as the world spun around him. The pillar he had held the man against was gone-- the _man_ was gone-- and they were back in the open square where they started. 

Hidan beat his fist against the sand and let out a cry of outrage. A kill taken from him. That didn’t happen. _Ever._

Upon remembering the girl, Hidan looked up to find her kneeling over the child’s corpse that she had killed earlier. “Don’t--” he cried, but she already grasped the hood in her hands. Pulling it back, she found a bundled mass of hair the same color as her own. But she didn’t seem surprised. Eerily calm, she moved her hands to the body’s shoulders and started to turn it over onto its back.

Hidan reached out and grabbed her wrist. Their eyes met and for that brief moment, Hidan remembered why he was there. A flash of recognition sparked in her eyes but it was gone as soon as it appeared. The fading light broke a piece of Hidan, one that he could feel splintering in his chest. It hurt to breathe. 

Together, then, they rolled the body over onto its back. This time, Hidan was able to trace the lines on their face, since there actually was one. It was Mira, eyes wide and unseeing, sand stuck to her skin. Hidan grimaced at the sight but the girl beside him only reached out and to close the corpse’s eyes. She didn’t seem disturbed anymore. It was just Hidan shaking now. 

The girl reached out her hand and touched Hidan’s cheek, forcing him to look at her. Curiously, she traced a teardrop down his cheek. “Why are you sad?” she asked. Wind picked up and traveled through the tunnels, scattering sand that covered the footprints and masked the fact that a battle had ever been fought. Everything was wiped clean. 

“I lost a friend,” Hidan murmured. “I’m trying to find her to bring her home with me but she keeps slipping through my fingers.”

The girl’s head tilted to the side. “Are you sure, mister? You’re the one who seems a little lost.”

Hidan’s lips twitched into a small smile. “You’re probably right. I do feel a little lost.”

“Just keep looking. All lost things turn up eventually.”

When Hidan blinked, the girl and the body were gone. 

Mira was gone. Again. 

The ground suddenly gave out like water, and Hidan sank through the floor, a few grains of sand falling around him as though he was tumbling inside an hourglass. He landed on his back in a patch of trees spread thinly across the countryside. He knew this place. He knew these trees. Their bark was a distinct greyish-white native to the area bordering the desert of Wind Country, and the air was thick with fog from a rainfall the night before. 

He had been here before. It had been a while, but he definitely knew this place.

And he knew that voice. 

“I’m not going with you no matter how many times you repeat it!”

He turned around to find Mira, the same age she was now, glowering at him. She was tied to a tree by the cable of Hidan’s scythe, and he could tell the metal was digging into her skin. It was red and raw and cut in a few places. But she didn’t seem to react to that; she was focused on skewering him with her eyes. “What? Scared to talk now?”

This wasn’t right. When they met-- it wasn’t like this. Yes, it was the same location, but she hadn’t been tied up since he never tied up his victims. And he hadn’t asked her to join him-- she demanded he take her with him. Everything was backwards. When he frowned, she spat at him. “My squad is gonna kill all of you,” she seethed, and he could see her trembling against her restraints. 

Hidan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “No, they’re not.” 

“You don’t know!” Mira screeched. “You may have gotten the jump on us but we’ve got more manpower--”

“No,” Hidan stated firmly, stepping closer and leaning over her. His hand slid across the cable to loosen it and he could feel that with every inch he gave, she pressed forcefully against it. Closer to him. He breathed evenly and let the cable fall from his hand. If he released her, he wasn’t sure what would happen. Would she run away? Try to fight him? Something else?

He tapped a fingertip against her collarbone and she bristled. “What are you doing?” she questioned, her voice shaky. 

Instead of answering, Hidan continued tapping a trail across Mira’s chest to her shoulder and down the top of her arm until the cable blocked him. “You don’t remember me,” he said softly, clicking his tongue at the way her skin pulled tightly on her arm. She was flexing. It was kind of hot to watch her struggle. In any other circumstance, anyway. 

“Why would I remember a piece of shit like you?” 

Hidan scoffed and his eyes trailed back up to hers. She flinched when he met her gaze. “Because you love me.” It was a simple thing, really. Just a fact. A statement. But it was something they hadn’t discussed. Maybe they didn’t need to. Hidan certainly hoped that was the case. 

“Love? _You?_ You’re crazy! I don’t even know you!”

“Oh, but you do.” Hidan brushed hair out of Mira’s face and she tried to bite his fingers. “You know, sometimes I forget how feisty you can be.” He licked his lips and took a step back to survey her. There was nothing going on around him that he could tell, probably because Mira herself didn’t know what happened after Jashin had knocked her unconscious the first time. So without any outside interruptions, they had all the time in the world to focus on each other. 

A twinge of guilt struck as she remained bound, but until he had more information or a better idea of what she was planning, he had no other choice. 

“What are you going to do to me?” Mira asked slowly, forcing the words out. “Torture me? I doubt you’ll get the answers you’re looking for. We’re trained against torture techniques.”

Hidan couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “I guess I’ll have to get creative then,” Hidan remarked, a smirk playing on his lips. He started undressing then, slowly, pulling his tank top over his head and sliding his pants lower on his hips. He was satisfied when Mira’s breath hitched and she broke out in a sweat that wasn’t from the humidity. 

“W-what are you doing?” Mira stuttered, then narrowed her eyes. She wasn’t usually one to respond to men undressing, so she knew something strange was going on. “Did you drug me?”

Laughing, Hidan shook his head. “No, I haven’t drugged you. Your body is just responding to mine. Don’t look so surprised, now- we’ve been intimate many a time.” The confliction on Mira’s face was priceless. He slid his pants a little lower and undid the button and zipper, exposing a triangle of his hair. “Oho, I guess in your dreams, I go commando.” 

Mira’s face flushed and she tore her eyes away. But at least she wasn’t struggling against the cords anymore. “You’re insulting,” she breathed, a drop of sweat sliding down her neck, causing her to arm to twitch. The image of the man’s tongue gliding across her skin burned into her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut. “What the _fuck_ did you do?”

“Hmm?” Hidan murmured, hooking his thumbs into his front pockets. “What’s wrong?”

“You know exactly what’s wrong! You’ve drugged me somehow! Maybe it’s in the cables, or when you touched me, you--”

“I already told you, I haven’t drugged you.” 

The woman startled at how close Hidan had gotten to her while her eyes were closed. She could feel his breath on her cheek and knew that he was close to her. If she opened her eyes, she feared she’d find his again. Become lost in them. Lost to herself. 

His hand slid up her calf and she jumped. His touch was warm, and despite the hot humidity in the air, part of her craved the heat. If anything, it caused her body to set fire, and her flush extended to her collarbone. She swallowed, the taste of sandalwood on her tongue. His hand couldn’t go too far because the cables extended just above her knee, but he surprised her when he began loosening them. “What are you doing!”

He chuckled lowly and kept loosening the cable. It started falling from her waist in loose coils that he pulled down over her legs until they were freed. She was wearing standard Suna shinobi shorts. A dull red to match the setting sun. Classic. Somehow still attractive. Maybe anything she wore ended up attractive. Hidan licked his lips again, slowly this time. 

Even though her eyes were closed, Mira copied the movement.

No matter how much she pushed against the cable covering the upper half of her body, it didn’t budge. Somehow the man had intricate control over what parts of the cable moved, what parts he _chose_ to remove, and it only annoyed her further. She opened her mouth to --

Hidan’s open palm traveled up the edge of her thigh, pressing firmly, imprinting his warmth on her. 

Mira moaned. Loudly. Without meaning to. Without _wanting_ to.

The man chuckled again and she kicked her knee up at him, but he caught her leg with ease. As he took a step forward and placed her leg against his hip, he dug his fingers into her thigh and a strangled sound caught in Mira’s throat. 

“Stop it,” she hissed, wiggling to try and free herself. “This is rape! Molestation! It’s _wrong!_ ” She felt him hesitate and stop advancing, but he didn’t remove his hand from her thigh or her leg from his hip. 

“You’re the only thing that feels right in my life,” Hidan muttered, shifting his gaze to her face. She still had her eyes closed but she must have felt his gaze on her, because she opened them. He took a step forward again but kept his hand on her mid-thigh. Leaning over her, he rest his forearm on the trunk by her head and sighed. “Mira, love, you’re not making things easy. I guess you’ve always been good at that.” He saw the caution swirling in her eyes, but there was something else deeper, pulsating. If only he could tease it out… some part of him deep, deep down knew that in order for this to work, he had to cross some boundaries. He just prayed she would forgive him. 

Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have dreamed of doing anything against her wishes. And perhaps, if done delicately enough, he wouldn’t have to. He hoped not. 

Without moving, he began exerting pressure onto Mira’s energy field with his own. Slowly, so as not to startle her too much. He felt her energy press harshly against his, uninviting, like a bubble refusing to break. He could feel Mira tremble in his hand and he took a deep breath. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you.” 

She snorted and her energy snapped against his. “ _Please._ You expect me to believe that after you tied me up? Began fondling me while I couldn’t do anything to resist?”

Well, she had a point.

Clearing his throat, Hidan pressed his lips against her hair and breathed in her scent. “I’m sorry about this, Mira, I truly am. I don’t want to scare you. But you have to believe me. I _know_ you. You know me. We’ve been through this all before.”

An idea struck and he began channeling his chakra to his hands. Gently, he pressed it into Mira’s injuries and thankfully, they began to heal. Rather rapidly, actually. “Praise Jashin,” he murmured before he could stop himself. He felt Mira stiffen against him.

“Who’s that?” she asked, and he could feel her panic spike. 

He could _feel her_ again. 

A new wave of adrenaline pulsed through his veins as he answered. “Jashin is the god we follow, Mira. He’s granted us each blessings to aid us in our endeavors, as long as we believe in him and do his bidding.”

Mira’s nose crinkled. “Doesn’t sound like anything I’d wanna follow.” When Hidan laughed again, she pursed her lips. “What’s so funny, huh?”

“You said that the first time, too. But eventually you gave in. Just like how you have to give in now.” Hidan felt her panic ebb but her guard was still up. “See? Your legs are healed. That’s one of Jashin’s blessings. Quick healing. Eternal life.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. Immortality. You almost had me going there.” 

Hidan slid forwards and pressed his hips into hers hers, and instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He smiled into her hair and pressed a kiss there, and she shivered against him. 

“Stop that,” she huffed, tightening her grip around his waist despite her words. “I can’t- I can’t think when you do that.” She wiggled against him and felt his pants slide lower, barely hanging on to his hip bones. Warmth spread from where their bodies met and pooled at the apex of her thighs and she bit her lip to hide a whimper trying to force its way out.

The cables around her arms began to loosen and she could breathe again, taking in full, deep breaths. Her arms were sore, bloodied and bruised, and they hung limply at her sides. Before she could protest, Hidan lifted her wrist to his face and kissed the sensitive flesh there, sending tingles up her arms. 

As his lips touched her skin, the wounds there melted away, and as he forced his mouth up the length of her arm, she found herself craving his touch. She felt alive, on fire, yet cooly relieved all at once, and the combination was so startling that a giggle vibrated in her chest. Before she knew it, she was laughing and crying at the same time, the tears falling freely down her face. 

He nipped at her neck, just below her ear, and Mira gasped and clutched at his shoulder with her hand, its arm now fully functional. “Fuck,” she breathed, unable to stop herself. 

“That’s it, let it all out,” Hidan whispered, his voice muffled against her skin. The vibration made Mira dig her nails harder into him, and he groaned and shifted his hips so that she was seated directly on his groin. It was his turn to curse. “ _Fuck,_ woman, how can you already be so wet?”

As if by magic alone, her pants had disappeared from her waist, but she hardly cared to analyze the absurdness of the situation. She was bare against him and she rocked her hips into his, coating his length in her desire. 

None of it made sense. Not how good he felt to her, how he knew just what to do to make her go crazy, how it all felt so _natural_ , like they were made for each other. Like they had done this a thousand times and would do it a thousand times again. 

“Say yes,” Hidan pleaded then, his hand in her hair and his lips on her throat. “Please, Mira, god you feel so good-- Please come back to me. Say yes.” 

“ _Yes,_ ” Mira echoed, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You know I’m always yours, Hidan.”

Just as Hidan thrust inside her, everything went dark again. 

This time when Hidan resurfaced, he was sitting on a stone tablet in the middle of the woods, although a different wood than before. The trees were dark and their trunks thicker than his own chest. Huge. Solid. 

Like a sentinel keeping watch. 

Hidan ran a hand down his face and took a deep breath. His heart was still racing and he almost forgot why he was there. A painful twitch of his cock reminded him that a certain someone was missing. “Mira,” he croaked, the longing in his voice palpable. “Mira, where are you? Please stop hiding from me. I just want us to go home.” 

He jumped the few feet off the platform and looked around. Thankfully his clothes had returned to his body so he wasn’t stark naked in the middle of the forest, but that was about all he was grateful for. That, and the fact that he remembered his purpose. “Mira,” he called again, walking the sides of the platform. He didn’t see any markings on the stone, and it was cool to the touch despite the sunlight peeking through the canopy. 

Crouched on the other side was Mira. She was wearing his tank top and her own black shorts, seemingly normal and just how he remembered her. Kneeling beside her, Hidan touched her shoulder. 

She didn’t move. Her skin was cold.

Clenching his jaw, Hidan pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her. “Mira,” he breathed, resting his chin on the top of her head. He rubbed her back in light circles and she started to warm from his touch. 

Slowly, as though she were thawing out from years of being frozen, she started to breathe. If Hidan listened closely enough, which he was, he could hear her body cracking as the ice melted. It took a long time for it to stop. It took even longer for her to move. 

As she shifted in his arms, he allowed her to sit up. Their eyes met and hers crinkled in a smile. “Hidan? What are you doing here?”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead before replying. “I came to bring you back.”

“Back? But you shouldn’t even be here. I don’t know how you got here in the first place.” Her eyes clouded as she spoke. “I don’t know how I got here, either, actually. Everything’s been fuzzy…” As her voice trailed off, she shivered as a new wave of cold sliced through her. “I can’t seem to… stand up.”

Hidan rubbed her arms harder before standing up himself. “What are you doing?” Mira asked, but Hidan merely picked her up bridal style, forcing her to wrap her arms around his neck. The sudden movement stretched her muscles until they ached and she groaned into his chest. 

“I’m getting you out of here,” Hidan said simply, choosing the path of least resistance and heading into the treeline. 

“We don’t even know where _here_ is, Hidan,” she huffed, nuzzling into his neck. “You’re so waaarm.” He chuckled and her heart thrummed at the sound. 

They walked for a few minutes before they crossed into a small clearing, and at its center, a stone platform. The same one they had just seen. Mira had closed her eyes, so the only reason she knew something was wrong came from Hidan’s change in breathing. She peeked up from the curve of Hidan’s neck to see what he was stomping towards: the stone platform. With a sigh, she admitted to having seen it before. Many times. “Remember when I told you about my visions? This is the same place they took me to. Even after my ritual, I arrived here.”

Hidan kept walking through the treeline as though he expected a different result. Upon their sixth emergence to the platform, he almost threw Mira in anger. She knew part of him wanted to but he only held her tighter against him as though he could squeeze his frustration out through her. 

“Sit,” Mira commanded, nodding to the platform. Once Hidan sat down, she settled comfortably in his lap. “I’ve never been able to leave this place before without something weird happening, or I would wake up in the middle of the night,” she admitted after a time. “But maybe together we can figure something out.” She laced their hands together and admired how nicely it felt. “Oh, but… you never told me how you got here. Maybe there’s a clue there.”

The man grumbled to himself before finally meeting Mira’s gaze. “I don’t see how reliving everything will help. It was all just a jumble, anyways. Random places, different events. Hell, you were even all different ages.” He popped Mira’s fingers with his thumb. “Why don’t we talk about what you’re doing here instead?”

A scowl twitched onto her lips. “Well how should I know that? One minute I’m minding my own business in that hotel back in that little town-- what was it called? Anyways, I was there toweling off after a shower when poof! I’m suddenly here.”

There were clear gaps in her memory that Hidan wasn’t sure he needed to revisit. “You don’t… remember anything else?” 

Mira raised an eyebrow in question. “No, should I?” 

Hidan steeled himself not to give anything away but she sussed it out on her own. “Hidan… What aren’t you telling me? Why are you really here?” 

He cleared his throat and hid his face in Mira’s neck. “We don’t need to talk about it. Let’s try to think of something else.” Kissing lightly, he determined to distract her from that line of thinking. When she sighed and threaded a hand through his hair, he knew he had succeeded. 

They kissed for a while, and were time moving, the sun would have set. But as it stood, the sky remained a bleak gray overcast that could have matched Hidan’s hair if he sat in the shade beneath one of the trees. He pulled away to gaze at her face, caressing her cheek. It was a feeling Mira wasn’t used to since the man typically kissed her with a fervor that made her knees weak, but this was soft. Sweet. And unlike him.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “You keep looking at me like I’m gonna break any second now.” His face fell for just a second and she knew something was up, even more now than before. Her mouth suddenly dried and she tried to swallow, but it was painful. Her throat felt raw, like she had been screaming. But she knew that as long as she had been here, she had done no such thing. 

Hidan must have sensed her uncertainty because he pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips. “Hey, don’t worry. We can stay here forever for all I care.” His arms tightened around her waist and he hid his face again. So unlike him. So… vulnerable. 

“Hidan,” Mira whispered as she forced his head level with hers. “We can’t do that. This isn’t living. Being stuck here? Never able to feel the sun again?” Tears were welling in the man's eyes and she brushed her thumbs across his cheeks. “We’d be prisoners here.” 

“But we’d be together,” he spoke softly, his voice breaking. “I can’t go back if you’re not with me. I won’t. I’ll die a thousand times before that happens.”

Mira brushed her hand through Hidan’s silver hair, trying to soothe him. “It’s okay,” she said softly, smelling sandalwood in the air. On Hidan’s skin. His hair. Everywhere. She took a deep breath to hold the scent inside, commit it to memory. As she exhaled, Hidan’s hands cupped the sides of her face and he looked at her like it was for the last time. Now there were tears in her eyes too.

“I love you,” he finally admitted, pressing the words into her lips. He kissed her like his life depended on it, crushing his lips to hers. Like he could will his own sanity onto Mira by that act alone. Mira returned the kiss in kind, like her life depended on it. 

In a way, it did.

_I love you, too. Always._


	16. When One Door Closes, Another Opens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** Canon/Major? character death below!! This is the final chapter! Thanks so much for reading and commenting! You guys are awesome!

The sunlight was blinding and Mira’s body felt like it was on fire. The heat was unwavering, blistering, and stars danced in her eyes. It felt like her soul was burning too, and the feeling ripped through her muscles with so much force that she convulsed. It took everything she had not to scream. The pressure built and built in her chest until it overflowed into her throat, dying there, and she bent over on her hands and knees, choking on spit and bile. After purging herself, she lay on the hot grass, wishing she would pass out or die or something. 

But then another sensation consumed her, and it was one she knew well. It chilled the fire eating her alive as it pulsed like liquid nitrogen through her veins. The feeling was coming on in waves from the direction of metal on metal; a fight in progress. Mira groaned but couldn’t will her body to move. All she managed was a sideways look at who was fighting.

It was Hidan. He and shadow boy were toe-to-toe trading blows, both using Kunai for whatever reason. Mira didn’t care. But what she did notice was that the feeling coating her lungs, her heart, all her organs, came directly from them. She could see it pulsating in the air around them. It was the same feeling Kurenai had given off when she had come to visit.

Anguish.

Pain.

While at one point shadow boy had the whole world beat with the intensity of his emotions, now Hidan was giving him a run for his money. All Mira wanted was for it to stop. They were both going to drive her insane.

Gritting her teeth, she forced herself onto her knees. Standing seemed impossible, so she took to crawling instead. Inch by inch, she dragged her body closer to the men, and neither of them even glanced her way. Typical. Leave the woman to fend for herself. If she were able to scoff, she would have. 

Shadow boy caught Hidan in his shadow possession jutsu then, and Mira’s skin began to tingle. With excruciating effort, she forced herself to stand. Hidan’s back was to her but shadow boy was turned in her direction. He locked eyes with her and after a flash of confusion faded from them, his lips twitched into a smirk. 

The waves of anguish rolling off the boy in waves tinged red with rage. The boy clearly had problems. Problems that Mira had helped cause. 

Wasn’t it her duty then to ease his pain and suffering?

Especially since he was practically holding Hidan hostage. She wasn’t sure who the boy was more eager to kill: her or Hidan. Mira’s blood started to warm again then as her own anger and annoyance took hold. The boy was playing them. And unfortunately, it was working. 

Mira wasn’t sure exactly how they had gotten into this predicament; the last thing she remembered was… well, it all blurred together. One moment she was in the cell watching Kurenai fade away, the next she was back at the Festival of Lights watching the lanterns float out of reach. Everything jumbled together and left her reeling. 

The only thing that anchored her was the sight of Hidan frozen in place. Not only did she need to save Shikamaru from himself, but she needed to save Hidan, too. 

What a pain in the ass. 

She arched her back and heard each joint pop in order, something that felt simply divine. Shikamaru stood still, studying her. Waiting for her to make the first move. Mira reached for her weapons to find that her hips were bare aside from the simple pants she had on. Not a weapon in sight. _Great._

Sighing, she took shaky steps closer to Hidan. Even though he was under Shikamaru’s control, she figured the boy wouldn’t do anything to her without the fight being at least somewhat fair. Being unarmed didn’t make it fair at all. 

Gently, she lifted the kunai from Hidan’s hands and avoided the man’s gaze. She even ignored when he choked out her name. Tried to call her back. Get her to stop. To look at him. Say something. _Anything_. 

The desperation cracking his voice almost made her stop... But she didn’t listen. She didn’t look. And she didn’t stop. Hidan’s anguish only increased as she took small steps away from him, away from the safety he could normally provide her. Feeling both his swirl of emotions _and_ shadow boy’s on top of her own was nauseating all over again, but she fought to keep herself in check and just focus on her mission.

Getting to Shikamaru. 

The boy just stood there as she shuffled closer, seemingly nonplussed at her advance. A vein in her forehead throbbed and a bead of sweat dripped down her face. She didn’t actually have a plan for beating shadow boy, but surely she would figure it out, right? Wouldn’t everything just sort of work itself out on its own?

She managed to stand directly in front of shadow boy without him moving a muscle at all during her transition. “Shikamaru,” she breathed, leveling her eyes with his. “You don’t want to do this. Believe me.” 

The boy clicked his tongue. “Oh, but I do.”

Somehow, he had managed to force Hidan to walk up behind Mira and wrap his arms around her, encasing her in a strong hold that made it even more difficult to breathe than before.

“Sorry, love,” Hidan grounded out, clearly struggling to free himself from the jutsu. “This boy sucks ass with his dumb jutsu.” Mira didn’t respond, once again causing his panic and annoyance to spike. “Are you even listening to me?”

Mira narrowed her eyes at Shikamaru and held the kunai tightly in her right hand. “Do you know why Kunrenai killed herself?” she asked, satisfied when the boy flinched in surprise. “I could tell you. I _was_ the last person to speak with her, right?” She took a shallow breath, wishing for once that Hidan wasn’t so strong. With every passing second, he crushed her tighter. She felt her ribs starting to cave and heard Hidan whimper an apology by her ear. 

“Don’t you want to know what your late sensei’s final words were?”

Shikamaru bristled and a growl rumbled deep in his chest. 

Despite the anger Mira felt, she really wanted to comfort the boy more than anything. _Yes,_ part of her wanted to rip his throat out and feed it to the wolves, but he was clearly suffering. Much like Kurenai had. “She cared for you,” Mira continued softly. “She expressed concern for your well-being since you haven’t been sleeping.” The circles under Shikamaru’s eyes were nearly black and his face was pale even in the sunlight, confirming what Kurenai had said before. “Wouldn’t you like that? To rest?”

His features hardened and he looked even more murderous than before. “Not the kind of rest you’re implying,” he scoffed, his eyes flashing. “But you’ll be rotting in hell soon enough so I’ll sleep then.” 

Hidan’s grip tightened considerably and Mira felt the bone her upper arm snap. She ground her teeth together and swallowed an angry hiss. “C’mon, I don’t buy it,” she continued, keeping her voice as steady as possible. “So much malice? So much hate? Asuma and Kurenai wouldn’t want this. They wouldn’t want you to murder someone in cold blood. They wouldn’t want you to throw away your humanity for some stupid revenge.” She swallowed and took another short breath. “They’re together now. Happy. _Free._ Don’t you want to be free, too, Shikamaru?” 

“Free to live a different life than this one has to offer you?” 

She saw his face falter and knew it was working, this new persuasive power she held. For a brief moment, she wondered if it would work on Hidan too. 

“I’ve never…” Shikamaru started, surprise and regret coating his tongue as he spoke. “I’ve never wanted the shinobi life. It’s always been expected of me as heir to my clan.” He shuddered and the shadow gripping Hidan began to weaken.

Mira nodded, a genuine smile forming on her lips. “That’s right, you don’t enjoy using your knowledge for others’ gain. All they do is kill each other for money or pride. Isn’t it exhausting?”

Hidan _tch’d_ behind her and Mira ground her heel into his foot. 

“You’ve always dreamed of a better life, a quieter life. No violence. No death.” Her magenta eyes softened as she looked at Shikamaru, now resembling a scared boy rather than a seasoned warrior. A reluctant warrior. Someone who never wanted the role fate had in store for him.

She felt Hidan’s grip on her loosen and breathed a sigh of relief. Luckily, Shikamaru didn’t notice. There was a stormy look in his eye that squeezed Mira’s heart and before she could stop herself, she took a step closer to Shikamaru. 

Hidan, still wrapped around her, took the step with her, careful not to jostle her broken arm. It needed to be set and it annoyed him to no end that she wanted to do things _her way_. Obviously it was better to just cut off the boy’s head and be done with it. Mind games were annoyingly intricate and took too much time.

But Mira continued nonetheless, ignoring the grumbling under Hidan’s breath. She took another step towards Shikamaru and although the hair on his arms stood on end and his muscles tensed, his eyes remained clouded and he looked ahead without seeing them approach. It was a look that Mira recognized from her time spent with Kurenai. 

She knew they were close to the end. 

Slowly, so slowly that her heart pounded in her ears and the sun burned her skin, she opened her arms and enclosed Shikamaru in an embrace.

Hidan allowed her to do so, the jutsu hold on him dissolving just in time.

At first the boy stiffened against her and struggled to loosen himself, but she wasn’t letting go for anything. She wondered if anyone had bothered to hug him since his sensei had passed, or if he had even attempted to ask for help or comfort from his friends and family. Probably not. Due to being both male and a shinobi, he probably buried all of his emotions, the torment and anger and guilt, as far down as he could. But now, Mira teased them back to the surface by hooking her energy into his and snaking them out of the place where he had them buried. 

In just a matter of seconds, she felt his body begin to shake. Shikamaru bit his bottom lip so hard that it bled, but that wasn’t enough to stop the gasping sobs that rocked his entire frame. He crumpled so quickly that Mira could hardly catch him before he fell to his knees. They fell together and the knocking of bone on hard ground sent a shock up Mira’s spine.

But it was nothing compared to the pain radiating off of Shikamaru. It had Mira gasping for air as well, the sounds of their breaths filling the area. The boy sobbed loudly as his eyes welled with tears. They overflowed like a dam breaking but he didn’t move to stop them. He didn’t do anything but cave in on himself, and Mira had to hold him upright. Her broken arm throbbed and burned painfully but she only held him tighter. 

The minutes ticked by and Shikamaru’s tears slowed, his body cooled, and his shaking ceased. When Mira leaned away to check his eyes, she saw that they were dulled but a light still shone in their depths. Alive, but drained of most of his emotions. There was nothing but a shell left. 

“Shit, Mira!” Hidan cried, clapping a hand on her back. “Who knew you could do that?”

She sighed and scooted away from Shikamaru. He didn’t stir. Once she was far enough away not to disturb him, she stood and winced from her arm. Hidan immediately closed in on her and placed his hands on her injury, sending his chakra and energy into her arm and healing the break instantly. Mira tentatively rolled her shoulder and was grateful that it didn’t hurt anymore. 

Hidan slipped the kunai from her hands and crossed behind Shikamaru, pressing his knees to the boy’s shoulders. 

“What are you--”

Before she could finish her question, Hidan smirked and reached around to rest the kunai against Shikamaru’s jugular. “Hidan,” Mira pressed, but he had already slid the metal through the boy’s throat. While Hidan stood in satisfied silence, Mira watched the light in Shikamaru’s eyes extinguish like a candle in the wind. A piece of her broke with him as his body fell to the ground and blood pooled from the fatal injury in his neck.

It was a shame that he had to die. It was a shame that anyone had to die, really, but the world was a cruel place and fate was a cruel mistress. But now he could be with his two sensei, and surely he would be happier in the next life than this one. Mira held onto that hope and as Hidan dropped the kunai. When he moved to embrace her, she let him. 

“I was afraid that I lost you,” he breathed, knotting a hand into her hair. “You didn’t move even after I woke up. I had to carry you out here.” 

Mira allowed him to press soft kisses to her hair and forehead but her eyes remained on Shikamaru. It seemed cruel to leave him there but she wasn’t sure what else to do. It was surprising that other shinobi hadn’t descended upon them yet, so she knew that they were operating on borrowed time. Time they had taken from Shikamaru.

“Hidan,” she finally murmured, placing her hand on the man’s cheek. He noticed her gaze trained on the boy and nodded. “We can bury him. Burn him. Whatever you want.”

Mira smiled softly and kissed Hidan’s jawline. “Thank you.” 

So that’s exactly what they did. Together, they lifted Shikamaru’s body and toted him towards a flowered clearing. Neither of them really knew where they were going but they let Jashin guide them. Once they found a sturdy oak tree, they placed his body at its base, leaning his back against the trunk. In that position, were it not for the blood staining his clothes, he looked like he was relaxing in the summer breeze with his eyes on the clouds, imagining the life he always wanted but could never have. 

Mira saw yellowed eyes peering at them from behind the bushes and trees, so she grasped Hidan’s hand and pulled him back. As they walked away, pairs of deer began to emerge from the treeline and sniff the air, each one lowering its head in remembrance of the beloved Nara boy. A soul lost in the clouds.

Each step took them farther away from Shikamaru and their past, and brought them closer together, closer to their own new beginnings. Hidan insisted that they leave Konoha at once, that his business was finished there and that he needed to see an expert about Mira’s recovery. How was she alright? What had happened once he disappeared at the ritual space? Why wasn’t she telling him everything immediately?

As they passed the village gates, no longer concerned with remaining hidden, Mira took a deep, cleaning breath of air. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and all that mattered was living her life to the fullest. The man hooked to her arm exclaimed loudly, cursing Kakuzu for his narrow-minded views, cursing the Akatsuki for trying to take the fun out of wars and political strife, and simultaneously blessing Jashin’s name for the bounty he had bestowed upon them.

Mira laughed, the sound of explosions and fireballs and lightning crackling through the air an odd backdrop but a fading one as the village grew smaller and smaller behind them. No one was coming for them. It was a small blessing she was willing to accept.

“You know what, Mira?” Hidan asked after a while, peering at her from the side. 

“What?” she replied, raising an eyebrow. 

“I think you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Hidan squeezed her hand then and a faint blush crept onto his cheeks. “Eternity might be more bearable with you around.” 

“ _Might be_ ,” Mira cackled, attempting to swat Hidan on the arm but he caught her and pulled her to his chest. 

“Yeah, _might_.” He grinned and slid his hands down to her waist. “If you think you can handle me for that long.”

Mira kissed the smirk off his face and dug her fingers into his scalp, pulling at the silvery strands of his hair. This earned her a groan as Hidan’s hand curved around her ass, but she enjoyed it more than she’d ever willingly admit. “I think,” she breathed as Hidan trailed kisses down her neck, “that you might be the death of me.” 

He laughed against her skin, making her pulse jump beneath his lips. “As long as you always come back to me, Mira...” Hidan moved to look in her eyes then, and the searing intensity of his gaze made her breath hitch. 

“We can live through anything.”

Questions burned on Mira’s lips but as he crushed his lips to hers, she was lost in a sea of sandalwood desire, never wishing to come up for air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand it's over!! It's so bittersweet that I didn't want to write it. D:
> 
> There's a sequel burning in my mind and driving me mad, so maybe after I finish some other projects, I'll come back to Mira and Hidan's adventures in a totally Naruto-AU story that follows this one. We will see what the future holds! As always, thank you for reading, thank you for the kudos, thank you for commenting! Let me know what you think about a sequel in the comments. :)


	17. BONUS: In the kitchen...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LEMON WARNING! (Told you I would add one at the end of it all ;]) As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

BONUS CHAPTER: LEMON WARNING

Hidan had been praising Jashin for over a decade now, and the god never disappointed. After all, He led Mira to him, allowed him to _keep_ her, and their union opened a whole new world of possibilities for Hidan. He used to enjoy the hunt and how it was a lot like foreplay - building and building and _building_ , adrenaline pumping, heart racing, pupils dilating - until that final drink of pleasure when the blade sunk deep into flesh and the heart stopped.

Nothing was as delicious as a kill.

...and then Mira came along and fucked over his system. _Literally._

Now, he was insatiable for _her_. Always thirsty and wanting, Hidan swallowed as Mira’s hips sashayed around the kitchen, his eyes glued to her every move, from the way she sucked brownie batter off her fingertips to the amused glimmer in her eyes as she spied him across the room. He imagined for a moment that she was bent in front of him across the low bar, his hands curved around those hips he loved so much, his tongue licking off chocolate batter he had smeared across her shoulders as he pistoned his cock into her. 

As he sucked in a breath, Mira leaned across the island and held out the mixing spatula towards him. “Wanna taste?” 

Hidan’s amber eyes narrowed at the sliver of cleavage peeking just over the collar of her apron. “ _Yes_ ,” he hissed, and Mira thrust the spatula even closer to his lips. “It’s so good!” she praised, clearly happy with herself for her baking prowess. Hidan glanced at the discarded box on the floor by his foot that clearly advertised “ _just add water_ ” and decided not to burst her bubble.

Even _Kisame_ , who had never cooked anything in his life, could bake these brownies. 

But Mira was just so damned _cute_ about it. “You know what would make this even better?”

“Mmmm?” Mira sounded, her back to Hidan as she greased the glass pan. “What’s that?”

Warmth spread across her backside as Hidan pressed himself flush against her. His fingers splayed across her hip bones and he chuckled, a deep, gravelly sound that made Mira’s skin break out in goosebumps. In the smallest, slowest movements he could manage, he ground his stiffening cock against Mira’s ass and peppered kisses across the tiny bumps forming on her shoulders. “I’ll give you three guesses.”

“Oh how _generous_ of you,” Mira laughed. She opened a drawer at waist level and leaned over juuuuust enough to press back into Hidan. He really was hard already. A light flush bloomed across her cheeks and she cleared her throat. She could never think straight when he got like this, but she did enjoy a game when the results were so sweet. “Huuuum,” she breathed, spreading her legs slightly apart without thinking. “I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

One of Hidan’s hands dipped lower and he was immensely glad that she had agreed to wear his shirts during their cooking sessions. _Just_ his shirt. Really, living with Mira had broadened his horizons in more ways than he could count, and half-naked cooking was just the icing on the cake. He slid his fingers over her panties, simple black just how he liked them, and started teasing the back edge of her lips through the fabric. “There’s lots of places we can begin.” 

Mira’s breath caught in her throat and Hidan felt her tense against him, so he pressed her back into a deeper curve to arch her head back. He couldn’t quite reach her lips without removing his dick from her backside, and he didn’t really _want_ to do that, so he placed gentle, deliberate kisses along the curve just below her ear. “Like right here.”

He bit down on Mira’s neck harder than she must have liked since she choked out an angry whine. In response, Hidan pressed his fingertips harder into her labia and licked at the angry bite mark blooming on her skin. 

“ _Hidan_ ,” Mira warned, the sharpness in her voice making the man’s dick twitch. “ _Behave_ or there’ll be no--” 

“Sex?” he muttered, nipping at her ear. 

“--you’re damned right!” she cried, smacking his hip with the spatula. “Now move so I can put these brownies in!”

Backing up one simple step, Hidan hooked his thumbs in his boxers - the only clothing item he had on - and leaned against the kitchen island. “You still haven’t guessed,” he said innocently enough. His eyes locked onto the spot where his fingers had dug in, effectively bunching up her underwear so that he could see her imprint on the fabric. _Delicious_. He licked his lips and felt his cock twitch again. “Not in the playful mood?”

Mira clicked her tongue as she scooped globs of the batter into the glass pan. Turning to face her partner, she nearly dropped the pan on her foot. “Wh-what do you think you’re doing?!” 

Hidan was _smirking at her_ as he _stroked his goddamned cock_ through his boxers. 

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Well you’re-- I just-- I can’t believe you!” 

“We’re gonna have to work on your dirty talk, love, ‘cause that fucking sucked.”

She slammed the glass on the counter beside Hidan hard enough to crack it and blew hot air across his face. “You arrogant piece of shit--”

Moving faster than Mira could react, Hidan swallowed whatever insult she had coming for him by pulling her hips square against his and sucking her bottom lip into his mouth. He nipped it lightly and felt Mira’s body relax. She really carried _so much_ stress in her muscles; he kept telling her that meditation was the key to relieving pressure but she never listened… so Hidan had other methods of relaxation.

“Mira,” he rasped, shifting to kiss her jawline. He didn’t hold her firmly in place so that if she wanted to back away, she could. “C’mon, babe, take your first guess.” 

Huffing at how fucking _ridiculous_ he was being, Mira moved her hand to cover his member and pinched the tip. “How about _dismemberment_?”

Hidan couldn’t help it. He laughed. “You’re just asking for trouble if you’re suggesting I sew my own dick back on. You know I can’t sew for shit! It’d be all jagged and shit! Do you really want a jagged dick?” 

“Guess not dismemberment then,” Mira mused, tilting her head to the side so that Hidan could keep kissing farther down her body. “What abouuuut… Sacrifice? Is that what you want? I mean, we _can_ , but I’m so not cleaning that up--”

“What I want,” Hidan growled, shoving his hands into her panties to cup her bare ass and pull her against him, “is for you to stop playing fucking dumb and touch me!” He gripped Mira’s cheeks hard enough to hurt, but she shivered just how he knew she would. “Goddamn! If I knew I’d have to beg, I would have prepared myself--”

Mira jumped him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist. Gravity did the work for them and lowered Mira onto Hidan’s length, and she helped the situation along by eagerly grinding against him. She was _very_ satisfied when all the breath in his lungs escaped and she bit down on his neck like he had done hers. 

Hidan’s groans filled the air and they slid to the kitchen floor. Mira wove his hair around her fingers and yanked his head sideways to keep him from retaliating, but while she worried about his teeth, she forgot about his hands. 

No one gave Hidan enough credit for how well he maneuvered his body. In truth, his movements were always graceful, and Mira teased him sometimes about becoming a gymnast. But there was nothing for her to tease now as he deftly detangled her limbs from his torso and planted her firmly, facedown, against the hardwood floor. 

“The fuck--”

He pressed the palm of one hand against the middle of her back, forcing her to lay flat against the floor. It wasn’t painful, but there was definitely pressure that kept her chest glued down. With his knees, thighs, or by some kind of magic, he had bent her at the waist and held her hips in his other hand. Only the top band of his boxers were down, the elastic band now holding his dick and balls upright at attention. He rubbed his length against Mira’s panties, delighted by the darkening stain forming. 

“You know my one rule,” he stated calmly, his voice so even that anyone walking by wouldn’t have known he was poised to sink into his lover. That was all he said, but his body spoke for him. Pre-cum leaked from his tip and he arched forward to rub it against Mira’s clit. She bucked beneath him but it was more of a spasm due to her confinement. 

“Are you comfortable?” 

The question was simple, but Mira knew the weight behind his words. He wouldn’t force her to do anything, and he wouldn’t hold her in this position against her will. If she told him to stop, he would. It was one of the many things she was grateful for in their relationship. 

But what she also loved was how he _knew_ , somehow in that dark, twisted soul of his, that this was exactly what she wanted. What she needed without realizing it. Mira lowered her shoulders farther down by shifting her arms on the ground in front of her. She pressed her chin against the top of her breasts and spread her legs as far apart as she could. There was a certain degree of discomfort, but an ache had been building between her thighs that she needed relief from more than anything else. The rest of her body would just have to wait. 

“ _Fuck me already, Hidan!_ ”

With a tug to pull her panties aside and a quick snap of his hips, he obliged. He filled her completely, and it was the ultimate bliss. He allowed himself a few seconds to feel her heat around him before he slowly pulled back out. Mira moaned loudly, and he immediately thrust back inside her. 

This rhythm continued for what felt like eternity, the slow friction against her walls causing Hidan to tremble and Mira to break out in a thin veil of sweat. With each of Hidan’s thrusts, Mira rocked forwards and her back muscles stretched beautifully, the feeling a mixture of pleasure and pain that she was starting to get a taste for. She didn’t even mind that her knees began purpling in bruises. All she could focus on was the heat radiating off of Hidan and into her as he picked up the pace.

Relentlessly, he drove his length into her, removing his hand from her back to steady himself against her hips. He gripped her harder still, his nails digging into her skin. He wanted to drive so hard into her that he lost himself, that he forgot everything except the feeling of her body against his, the warmth of her flesh, the taste of her soul. When they were merged like this, he caught a glimpse of it right as he reached climax, an overwhelming kindness and forgiveness that he could never truly know or hope to grasp. But during every joint ritual, either spiritual or sensual, they saw each other for what they truly were, for what they had become together.

And she hadn’t rejected him yet. 

Mira began to cry out at the speed of Hidan’s thrusts and he knew that neither of them could last much longer. “Mira,” he groaned, slowing down. He forced himself to pull completely from her and gently roll her over so that he could see her eyes. They were smoldering deep violet, a color reserved only for him. Lowering himself over her, he cupped her chin in his hands and guided his cock to her entrance. “Cum with me, love.”

Hidan poured all his love onto her, overwhelmed her mouth with his, entered her so deeply that she lost herself just the way he wanted. He came slowly with her, his semen spurting in long bursts, and as she came to her senses, she wrapped her arms around him and enjoyed the weight of his body on top of hers. 

They lay there for a while, neither of them speaking. Just enjoying the silence, the stillness, the peace. It was the same after any ritual: the build up, the tension, even the anger sometimes… but then the release came and everything settled into the grooves between their bones. Nothing was out of place. 

Hidan pressed a kiss to Mira’s temple and she smiled against his chest. “How do you do that?” she asked, tracing circles onto his back with her fingertips. “You always know what I need.”

The man was quiet for a moment as he considered her question. It was something he had always known on some level but never had to put into words before. “You and I are one, Mira. How couldn’t I know?”

He took her hand in his and twisted the ring on her finger with mild interest. “But I still don’t know why you want a wedding. It’s a stupid tradition for people without true faith.”

Mira hummed and kissed Hidan’s collarbone. “I think it’s my faith that drives me. You don’t feel the same?”

Hidan scoffed, and that was all the answer she needed. After all, who had ever seen a Jashinist wedding before?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's writing a sequeeeeel ~


End file.
